Jonathan is getting older and also improving in language skills. The combination can sometimes be lethal, as it can cause me fits of laughter that are quire uncontrolled = those are caused by a brilliant , yet childish connection which he expresses, which can spur in me fits of pure delight. Here are a few examples.
When told that mommy will go swimming and daddy will take him to kindergarten, he simply answered :mommy should stay with Jonathan and daddy should go swimming”. That he requested that I remain is rather expected, but the pearl here is the complete solution – if daddy goes swimming, then all is well...
When I was cleaning and he was board, Jonathan protested against my tidiness in the following words:
“your are always cleaning and that is not interesting for me...”
I study once a week and hence return home late on the days of the course, after Jonathan is already asleep. This week I called my husband to talk with to him and to Jonathan before he goes to bed (I know its a lame effort to compensate the boy for my absence, but I cannot help it...). Jonathan asked me on the phone where I was and to simplify matters, I answered “mommy is still at work”. The boy immediately protested that it was dark outside (which is true) and thus my workplace should be closed! Its simple logic, I always show him that when night falls, stores close. Thus he assumed that my workplace should also be closed.
When I explained that despite the hour, I must work a bit more, he tried another tactic, he protested that I was sick with a stomach ache and that it is “heavy for me” (he mixes heavy and difficult at times because in German its the same word – he makes this mistake even in Hebrew – the two languages get confused in his thoughts and he expresses himself in mixed sentences at times). Thus he believed, I need to come home and rest. To understand this second pearl of wisdom, one must understand that at the time of this occurring I am eight months pregnant, with a rather large belly and that to add to this, I am also suffering under a nasty cold. Thus Jonathan has recently heard that I am tired, that my belly is heavy and that it is difficult for me to read him a bedtime story because of the fact that I can hardly speak in between nasty coughs (in the last few was I was obliged to limit the story reading to one book instead of the usual two). The boy simply combined all my complaints into a mix of symptoms that mean one thing – mommy should come home to Jonathan right now! And not in the middle of the night. I found it very flattering, I must admit. He then told me on the phone that he loves me, and I told him I love him too and that I miss him. Longer telephone conversations (that also make some sense) are a new recent development with Jonathan. I am enjoying this immensely!
After an evening in which I was obliged to stay longer at work, Jonathan protested that I am always at work and that I should both take him to and from kindergarten. It is obvious that he misses me. To be truthful, he does see more of my husband, who picks him from kindergarten and thus spends on average 1.5 hours more a day with the boy. As he has repeated the request that I pick him up from kindergarten often in recent weeks, I make an effort to do so at least once a week. Yesterday therefore, I picked him up from kindergarten, together with my husband. He then spent some time just repeatedly hugging me and telling me he is happy I picked him up and that I should do so every day (take him to and pick him from kindergarten). My heart simply melted! The guilt spurred in me! But I have no choice. I have to work full time as I am the main provider in this outfit. I can only hope that Jonathan will understand that when he is older...I did however try to think positive and simply enjoy the hugging and to give him my full attention when I am with him – quality and not quantity is the only motto I have left.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Invention, Imagination and Humour
Creative and abstract thinking is presenting itself in Jonathan's humour and advancement in language skills. He now takes action to creating funny situations for his amusement and is also able to create sentences and to express himself pretty well. With these skills comes also that of invention and creating new games and even invent new words. The Experts say it is typical for his age, so I can relax and enjoy the phenomenon.
Putting his shoes on upside down and laughing at himself is a sign of humour Jonathan seams to enjoy repeatedly. Pretend games like mixing salt and sugar in a cake, serving it to mommy and watching me spit it out (all pretend of source) also sends him into fits of giggles. He gets disappointed if I do not “spit” out the food (and I do not if he gets it right-like salt on salad), thus he immediately adds it the wrong ingredient to achieve the desired affect, and then laughs his head off!
Being allowed to be the assistant magician in an activity in kindergarten, also brought the bet out of the boy and the kindergarten teacher said she had never experienced Jonathan so full of laughter, as he was turned into a rabbit and other such imagination magic. Drawing abstract scribes and explaining them is also typical of recent. The interesting thing is that the scribbles of certain things are similar to previous scribbles of the same object. The connection to reality is loose but if I search for it, I can see it ( a shopping mall is a series of lines, loosely resembling the windows rows of a large building). Commentating his drawing live is the latest addition to the beloved activity. Showing me the drawing and even giving to me as a gift is usually the finishing touch, as the boy fished for compliments.
As Jonathan is exposed to two languages, he has an interesting mix of both. He uses both languages in once sentence and there a certain things and activities that are always names in one of the languages. A trip to Germany to visit my husband's family this summer has only strengthened the confusion. Aside from creating new verb forms in Hebrew, Jonathan has enlarged his vocabulary in German considerably and has even invented a new term. The trip exposed Jonathan's special liking of the vending machines, and using them received a special word “Ein Knopfen” . Ein is like “a” in German and is a prefix typical for many nouns. Knopfen is the verb form of the noun Knopf, which means button, its just that the verb Knopfen is non existent in German. But the vending machines have many a button to press... thus Jonathan has formulated a term that clearly relates to the beloved activity of buying a coke or snack in the machines.
Putting his shoes on upside down and laughing at himself is a sign of humour Jonathan seams to enjoy repeatedly. Pretend games like mixing salt and sugar in a cake, serving it to mommy and watching me spit it out (all pretend of source) also sends him into fits of giggles. He gets disappointed if I do not “spit” out the food (and I do not if he gets it right-like salt on salad), thus he immediately adds it the wrong ingredient to achieve the desired affect, and then laughs his head off!
Being allowed to be the assistant magician in an activity in kindergarten, also brought the bet out of the boy and the kindergarten teacher said she had never experienced Jonathan so full of laughter, as he was turned into a rabbit and other such imagination magic. Drawing abstract scribes and explaining them is also typical of recent. The interesting thing is that the scribbles of certain things are similar to previous scribbles of the same object. The connection to reality is loose but if I search for it, I can see it ( a shopping mall is a series of lines, loosely resembling the windows rows of a large building). Commentating his drawing live is the latest addition to the beloved activity. Showing me the drawing and even giving to me as a gift is usually the finishing touch, as the boy fished for compliments.
As Jonathan is exposed to two languages, he has an interesting mix of both. He uses both languages in once sentence and there a certain things and activities that are always names in one of the languages. A trip to Germany to visit my husband's family this summer has only strengthened the confusion. Aside from creating new verb forms in Hebrew, Jonathan has enlarged his vocabulary in German considerably and has even invented a new term. The trip exposed Jonathan's special liking of the vending machines, and using them received a special word “Ein Knopfen” . Ein is like “a” in German and is a prefix typical for many nouns. Knopfen is the verb form of the noun Knopf, which means button, its just that the verb Knopfen is non existent in German. But the vending machines have many a button to press... thus Jonathan has formulated a term that clearly relates to the beloved activity of buying a coke or snack in the machines.
Explanation and Problem Solving
Jonathan likes to tell himself what is going on, like commentary to watching children TV or a DVD. He also scolds me if he thinks I confused something (mommy, its a turtle, not a frog – you got it wrong/you have confused it- I admit I do not always see things the way he does). Original thinking and problem solving expresses itself repeatedly , like his coping with a renovation in our apartment.
Watching a DVD with Jonathan is always fun because he delights so much in it. He also gives live commentary. When he was little, this commentary showed itself in an imitation of the actions in the DVD (like falling on the ground when the coyote gets crushed in the road runner cartoons – Jonathan's favourite DVD for interactive television (Jane Fonda like) sport). He also sings along with the DVD's.
Recently his commentary has taken a more advanced form – he either asks questions related to the ongoing story (Why does the mouse get the cat wet? Typical Tom and Jerry question) or he explains the action (the magic egg will now fall on his foot! Boom! Bang! And he is magical... a short summary of en episode of the Smurfs). Sometimes he even answers his own questions after posing them (the mouse likes to bother the cat – Tom and Jerry again) having heard the same explanation from me to those questions a few times, he simply remembers the answers.
Jonathan also likes to explain his surroundings. Thus he announced one day that his daddy was just too big to sit on mommy's lap and he might fall and bang his head “Boom! Bang!” The sounds were made in extra enthusiasm to make sure daddy understood the danger.
Jonathan is a boy that likes his home and feels good and secure in it. After a long weekend at his grandparents, he will wish to go to “my house”, and then he shows great relief when we get home. This feeling of safety was taken away one day, when we started packing away a large book shelf that dominates our living room while preparing for a small renovation (we painted the walls after about 7 years of residence and installed a new laminated flooring).
In emptying the shelves, we changed the look and feel or the room considerably and Jonathan's reaction was to ask us where had his house gone. He was looking for it also during the days of the renovation. And even after the renovation was finished, as the house now looked different (because of the new floor, the books were back in the shelves) he still looked for it a while, and at the same time admitting the new “surprise” apartment was nice. Each time we tidied up a room after it was painted and floored, he declared that “the room is back” and enjoyed it immensely. He also enjoyed helping me pack, by bringing me books from a pile to put into the boxes.
In the stacked up living room, he solved the problem of not having his usual table accessible for his dinner, by improvising an eating space by using a chair and covering it with his place mats. Taking out all the cushions of our sofa and building a house by placing them on the side like a wall is another typical pass time, the extra bonus to this house construction is that jumping on the sofa platform is really a lot of fun... It was also fun to use one of the empty cartons as a house to hide in for a few days after the renovation. Hiding in containers is a favourite activity and Jonathan uses every opportunity. Thus when we returned from a trip abroad, he curled himself into the empty suitcase when I left the room to put the dirty laundry in the bathroom. The only way for me to know where he was, was because of the fact that the suitcase was giggling when I returned to the bedroom.
Watching a DVD with Jonathan is always fun because he delights so much in it. He also gives live commentary. When he was little, this commentary showed itself in an imitation of the actions in the DVD (like falling on the ground when the coyote gets crushed in the road runner cartoons – Jonathan's favourite DVD for interactive television (Jane Fonda like) sport). He also sings along with the DVD's.
Recently his commentary has taken a more advanced form – he either asks questions related to the ongoing story (Why does the mouse get the cat wet? Typical Tom and Jerry question) or he explains the action (the magic egg will now fall on his foot! Boom! Bang! And he is magical... a short summary of en episode of the Smurfs). Sometimes he even answers his own questions after posing them (the mouse likes to bother the cat – Tom and Jerry again) having heard the same explanation from me to those questions a few times, he simply remembers the answers.
Jonathan also likes to explain his surroundings. Thus he announced one day that his daddy was just too big to sit on mommy's lap and he might fall and bang his head “Boom! Bang!” The sounds were made in extra enthusiasm to make sure daddy understood the danger.
Jonathan is a boy that likes his home and feels good and secure in it. After a long weekend at his grandparents, he will wish to go to “my house”, and then he shows great relief when we get home. This feeling of safety was taken away one day, when we started packing away a large book shelf that dominates our living room while preparing for a small renovation (we painted the walls after about 7 years of residence and installed a new laminated flooring).
In emptying the shelves, we changed the look and feel or the room considerably and Jonathan's reaction was to ask us where had his house gone. He was looking for it also during the days of the renovation. And even after the renovation was finished, as the house now looked different (because of the new floor, the books were back in the shelves) he still looked for it a while, and at the same time admitting the new “surprise” apartment was nice. Each time we tidied up a room after it was painted and floored, he declared that “the room is back” and enjoyed it immensely. He also enjoyed helping me pack, by bringing me books from a pile to put into the boxes.
In the stacked up living room, he solved the problem of not having his usual table accessible for his dinner, by improvising an eating space by using a chair and covering it with his place mats. Taking out all the cushions of our sofa and building a house by placing them on the side like a wall is another typical pass time, the extra bonus to this house construction is that jumping on the sofa platform is really a lot of fun... It was also fun to use one of the empty cartons as a house to hide in for a few days after the renovation. Hiding in containers is a favourite activity and Jonathan uses every opportunity. Thus when we returned from a trip abroad, he curled himself into the empty suitcase when I left the room to put the dirty laundry in the bathroom. The only way for me to know where he was, was because of the fact that the suitcase was giggling when I returned to the bedroom.
Bonuses and helping out.
Jonathan is showing an understanding of concepts. Like that of being a good boy and helping out. And of course the concept of reward. He is also an attentive child and likes to help out.
We were walking to kindergarten one morning and he explained to me that he is being a good boy, all grown up and well behaved. Thus he demanded a reward for his behaviour in the shape of a chocolate drink to be purchased across the street from the kindergarten.
As this habit started but a month before the summer holiday (and we are due to enter a new kindergarten) I saw no point in fighting him but rather a chance to strengthen his understanding of the reward. Thus he enjoyed many a chocolate drink bonuses in the following month, until the summer holiday. His latest reward was being taken to the zoo, after being a good boy and going to the new kindergarten without making trouble for two days straight - he even admitted having fun on the second day! I was very glad to hear it.
One afternoon as I was resting, my mother spent time with Jonathan in the TV room. She also was tires and so she decided to lay down next to the boy. Jonathan noticed it and brought her a blanket and covered her. He likes to help out and always asks if he can help. He always tries to help, thus trying to help me carry things (like our shopping bag from the supermarket, or a heavy box – then I have to tell him not to help...so he will not get hurt). Grabbing the broom and sweeping or the mop for washing the floor is typical. He likes to bring his own juice to the living room and even to prepare it himself. We try to encourage this helping and independence tendencies – but I must admit it is sometimes a trail to my patience as it can create a big mess (e.g. juice syrup all over the kitchen) or it forces me to have to wait until he gets things done, which could go a lot faster if I helped him out. I do my best to be patient. Jonathan usually asks for my assistance when he gives up working on a task alone. He wails his failure by complaining about his lack of success (mommy, I have not succeeded, is a typical wail/cry out for help).
We were walking to kindergarten one morning and he explained to me that he is being a good boy, all grown up and well behaved. Thus he demanded a reward for his behaviour in the shape of a chocolate drink to be purchased across the street from the kindergarten.
As this habit started but a month before the summer holiday (and we are due to enter a new kindergarten) I saw no point in fighting him but rather a chance to strengthen his understanding of the reward. Thus he enjoyed many a chocolate drink bonuses in the following month, until the summer holiday. His latest reward was being taken to the zoo, after being a good boy and going to the new kindergarten without making trouble for two days straight - he even admitted having fun on the second day! I was very glad to hear it.
One afternoon as I was resting, my mother spent time with Jonathan in the TV room. She also was tires and so she decided to lay down next to the boy. Jonathan noticed it and brought her a blanket and covered her. He likes to help out and always asks if he can help. He always tries to help, thus trying to help me carry things (like our shopping bag from the supermarket, or a heavy box – then I have to tell him not to help...so he will not get hurt). Grabbing the broom and sweeping or the mop for washing the floor is typical. He likes to bring his own juice to the living room and even to prepare it himself. We try to encourage this helping and independence tendencies – but I must admit it is sometimes a trail to my patience as it can create a big mess (e.g. juice syrup all over the kitchen) or it forces me to have to wait until he gets things done, which could go a lot faster if I helped him out. I do my best to be patient. Jonathan usually asks for my assistance when he gives up working on a task alone. He wails his failure by complaining about his lack of success (mommy, I have not succeeded, is a typical wail/cry out for help).
Creativity
Jonathan continues to show progress in imagination games and creative solutions. His love of snowstorms is only increased by the success of the flour generated storm, so much that he decided to also have a storm during a drive to his grandma – in the car – the solution-handkerchiefs.
We were driving to my parents' house, about an hour drive and I gave Jonathan a tissue to blow his nose (he does that alone very successfully, as well as wiping his behind after the toilet) and after he was done, he tore it up to little pieces and started throwing them about – creating a snow storm. We stopped to relieve ourselves and I used the opportunity to clean the car. Now Jonathan had no more pieces for his storm – so he pretended to sneeze; the clever little tyke, the idea being that I once more give him more tissues.
It did not work, but it became clear to me that he needed entertainment. So we spend the rest of the ride paying with riddles and imagination and guessing games. What animal is brown and roars (a bear), what color does a water melon have (red) and we also sang his favourite songs.
It is becoming possible to keep Jonathan busy without toys or play things, but it is hard work, I must admit. After the drive was over, I was drained out.
At my parents' Jonathan continued to show creative ideas, he cut a paper into strips and declared that he has made a piano, and I was invited to play along with him. He also helped his grandma baking but this time I did not allow him to create a flour snow storm and thus the mess was somewhat reduced.
We were driving to my parents' house, about an hour drive and I gave Jonathan a tissue to blow his nose (he does that alone very successfully, as well as wiping his behind after the toilet) and after he was done, he tore it up to little pieces and started throwing them about – creating a snow storm. We stopped to relieve ourselves and I used the opportunity to clean the car. Now Jonathan had no more pieces for his storm – so he pretended to sneeze; the clever little tyke, the idea being that I once more give him more tissues.
It did not work, but it became clear to me that he needed entertainment. So we spend the rest of the ride paying with riddles and imagination and guessing games. What animal is brown and roars (a bear), what color does a water melon have (red) and we also sang his favourite songs.
It is becoming possible to keep Jonathan busy without toys or play things, but it is hard work, I must admit. After the drive was over, I was drained out.
At my parents' Jonathan continued to show creative ideas, he cut a paper into strips and declared that he has made a piano, and I was invited to play along with him. He also helped his grandma baking but this time I did not allow him to create a flour snow storm and thus the mess was somewhat reduced.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
The speed of progress
Jonathan is exposed to so many triggers, that it is surprising that he can grasp them all. His DVD's are an endless source of surprising information and have recently helped unearth his talent for languages.
Jonathan has a good ear, just like his mom a talent for sounds and melody is also turned into a talent for languages. Despite the fact that Jonathan suffered from a delay in speech, it was clear that he distinguishes languages. Recently, after watching a DVD of “letters form Felix the hare” Jonathan has focused on the English-like accent of characters that come from the USA or Australia and the UK. He thus roles his R's and proclaims by such “English sounding” rolling R dominated gibberish to speak “English” and he wants me to repeat his new found words and to speak English with him...
I find this especially endearing, as I have clear memories of myself playing a similar game with my twin sister when we are about 4 or 5 years old. We imitated the American mother of one of the children form our kindergarten - rolling our R's and making gibberish sounds (or was she south African? I do not really remember, but the last time I saw her was in South Africa when I was about 10 – and by then I could speak English fluently).
My mother says that Jonathan repeats many of my quirks as a child. M
Jonathan has a good ear, just like his mom a talent for sounds and melody is also turned into a talent for languages. Despite the fact that Jonathan suffered from a delay in speech, it was clear that he distinguishes languages. Recently, after watching a DVD of “letters form Felix the hare” Jonathan has focused on the English-like accent of characters that come from the USA or Australia and the UK. He thus roles his R's and proclaims by such “English sounding” rolling R dominated gibberish to speak “English” and he wants me to repeat his new found words and to speak English with him...
I find this especially endearing, as I have clear memories of myself playing a similar game with my twin sister when we are about 4 or 5 years old. We imitated the American mother of one of the children form our kindergarten - rolling our R's and making gibberish sounds (or was she south African? I do not really remember, but the last time I saw her was in South Africa when I was about 10 – and by then I could speak English fluently).
My mother says that Jonathan repeats many of my quirks as a child. M
A shock! And healing magic
A week ago Jonathan fell off his fathers bicycle. As a result he received some bruises to the face. I believe my husband was consumed with guilt and shock during the event but as it turned out the boy looked a lot worse than he really was and now, just a week after the event, there are no signs of it.
I was not there, so I do not know exactly how Jonathan fell, but he bruised his face. My husband had managed to get the wounds cleaned in a nearby cafe and to put some ice on Jonathan's face before bringing him home. Then he calmed the boy (and himself) by treating Jonathan to an ice. Sugar is indeed a great calmer of childly nerves.
When I got home I got home about 30 minuted later, it was obvious Jonathan had suffered only surface wounds and was in need of my maternal attention. As soon as he saw me, Jonathan felt the urge to cry once more, as he recalled the experience, explaining to me that he had had a fall. I cleaned the wounds and put some Polidine disinfectant on them and then , more for placebo effect and to calm Jonathan down, I placed some plasters on his scratches. One particular scratch was located just under his nose and Jonathan found it extremely funny that if he had a running nose (which he did, as he was still crying) he would have a messy plaster...thus the boy was trapped between laughter and tears.
Seeing that the boy was not really seriously hurt. I took him out to the playground and we had burgers for supper – a fun evening to turn his attention from his unpleasant afternoon. He continued to behave normally the nest day, but his face got swollen – so I made a doctors appointment for him. This appointed resulted in ointment for his wounds and antibiotics – regular treatment to prevent further infection. Its been 5 days since the fall and the medicine has worked marvellously – there hardly any signs of the old bruises. I believe when the week is out Jonathan will be completely healed. The real magic is the boys ability to heal fast – its took just half a day from the first administration of treatment and the beginning of clear recovery signs – the swelling was gone and the scratches began to retreat in less than 6 hours after I returned from the doctors office. 12 hours and a good night's sleep later and Jonathan eye was not longer affected. Today, the is no longer any dry scratches, just new skin.
Its amazing what young cells can do and how marvellous the human body is.
Jonathan gets extra points for being a real tough cookie. As always, when he is unwell, he is never troublesome. With the exception of the day of the fall in which he cried (and rightly so, I am sure he was frightened and it also hurt) he has been a real angel and has cooperated with his treatment – reminding me diligently each time not to put the ointment in a way that will “disturb” his eye (as is”into” his eye). He submitted to washing his face regularly twice a day and to ointment administration and medicine swallowing without a complaint! My boy! I am just so proud! He really is a big boy! As he so often reminds me.
I was not there, so I do not know exactly how Jonathan fell, but he bruised his face. My husband had managed to get the wounds cleaned in a nearby cafe and to put some ice on Jonathan's face before bringing him home. Then he calmed the boy (and himself) by treating Jonathan to an ice. Sugar is indeed a great calmer of childly nerves.
When I got home I got home about 30 minuted later, it was obvious Jonathan had suffered only surface wounds and was in need of my maternal attention. As soon as he saw me, Jonathan felt the urge to cry once more, as he recalled the experience, explaining to me that he had had a fall. I cleaned the wounds and put some Polidine disinfectant on them and then , more for placebo effect and to calm Jonathan down, I placed some plasters on his scratches. One particular scratch was located just under his nose and Jonathan found it extremely funny that if he had a running nose (which he did, as he was still crying) he would have a messy plaster...thus the boy was trapped between laughter and tears.
Seeing that the boy was not really seriously hurt. I took him out to the playground and we had burgers for supper – a fun evening to turn his attention from his unpleasant afternoon. He continued to behave normally the nest day, but his face got swollen – so I made a doctors appointment for him. This appointed resulted in ointment for his wounds and antibiotics – regular treatment to prevent further infection. Its been 5 days since the fall and the medicine has worked marvellously – there hardly any signs of the old bruises. I believe when the week is out Jonathan will be completely healed. The real magic is the boys ability to heal fast – its took just half a day from the first administration of treatment and the beginning of clear recovery signs – the swelling was gone and the scratches began to retreat in less than 6 hours after I returned from the doctors office. 12 hours and a good night's sleep later and Jonathan eye was not longer affected. Today, the is no longer any dry scratches, just new skin.
Its amazing what young cells can do and how marvellous the human body is.
Jonathan gets extra points for being a real tough cookie. As always, when he is unwell, he is never troublesome. With the exception of the day of the fall in which he cried (and rightly so, I am sure he was frightened and it also hurt) he has been a real angel and has cooperated with his treatment – reminding me diligently each time not to put the ointment in a way that will “disturb” his eye (as is”into” his eye). He submitted to washing his face regularly twice a day and to ointment administration and medicine swallowing without a complaint! My boy! I am just so proud! He really is a big boy! As he so often reminds me.
DYI-Do it yourself
do it yourself is not just a fashion supported by Ikea sprouting new branches everywhere, it is a staple in every toddlers arsenal of “I am all grown now”. At the age of 3.5 years, Jonathan is clearly in the “why” stage. Everything must be questioned, every trigger reacted upon and every task performed independently.
The words “I can do it!” or “Me alone!” or “by myself!” are probably the phrases I hear most often in recent weeks. Jonathan has declared that he is a bog boy and that he can do everything himself. This results in many frustrating moments. First he is frustrated if I try to help or do something for him, then he tried it alone and gets frustrated and wails if it does not work out. Regardless, Jonathan is indeed becoming more adept in conducting daily tasks.
He wants me to watch as he gets dressed and he can indeed dress alone, which the exception of putting on his socks and his shoes. He manages his “Spider man” “Crocks” sandals however very well.
He wants to pour his own soft drink and usually gets the job done neatly without too much spilling. In fact the only serious spilling occurs if I try to help...
Cutting his food is the next challenge (he is only allowed to cut soft foods with a spreading butter knife). Spreading chocolate on his sliced bread is a task already conquered.
He likes to think that he knows and that he can help. But when it does not suit him to do so, its always nice to be able to lean on mommy again. Thus when he was tired the other day after returning from the playground (mommy watch me climb...yaaaa....uuuhhh.... do not fall...be careful sweety) on a warm afternoon, it was cool to ride piggyback on mommy (the only way I can still carry him – he weighs almost 20 Kgs). “Only you” is a phrase I have also heard often enough recently, and it signals Jonathan return to toddler-hood and dependence on my assistance. It is mostly used for tasks he does not are to complete (like tidying up his toys, or putting his shoes in their place).
The compromise between “me alone”and “only you” is probably “its difficult for me” - this declaration signals that he is trying to complete a task but not getting it right – thus asking for my help at the last minute. “Its difficult for me” has become music to my ears – ah, he still needs me after all! I wonder already when he will cease to need my help, and he is just 3.5 years old! Life is so shirt and he is growing up sooo fast – what will I think when he is a teenager and no longer gives me the time of day? Another favourite of mine is “together” - wanting to do something together with me, such bliss!
Just the other day, Jonathan saw a self made video of me singing. Seeing me on the computer screen caught his attention and he requested to see mommy again and again on the screen. By the time his enthusiasm reduced, he already got the tune of the recorded song and yesterday he asked me to sing it for him and then “together” - he wanted to sing it with me. I naturally complied! The boy id a musical prodigy! He sang long before he could talk and his love of music has not dyed down now that he is able to express himself in speech. He loves to sing together with me and we usually sing children's songs and stuff from his DVD's – but this time he wanted the song from the Video, which is a traditional Hebrew text and not created for children – Ah! My heart rejoiced a the request There is hope for the INTERNET generation to which my son belongs – they will be connoisseurs of culture yet! As long as mommy can sing it right!
The words “I can do it!” or “Me alone!” or “by myself!” are probably the phrases I hear most often in recent weeks. Jonathan has declared that he is a bog boy and that he can do everything himself. This results in many frustrating moments. First he is frustrated if I try to help or do something for him, then he tried it alone and gets frustrated and wails if it does not work out. Regardless, Jonathan is indeed becoming more adept in conducting daily tasks.
He wants me to watch as he gets dressed and he can indeed dress alone, which the exception of putting on his socks and his shoes. He manages his “Spider man” “Crocks” sandals however very well.
He wants to pour his own soft drink and usually gets the job done neatly without too much spilling. In fact the only serious spilling occurs if I try to help...
Cutting his food is the next challenge (he is only allowed to cut soft foods with a spreading butter knife). Spreading chocolate on his sliced bread is a task already conquered.
He likes to think that he knows and that he can help. But when it does not suit him to do so, its always nice to be able to lean on mommy again. Thus when he was tired the other day after returning from the playground (mommy watch me climb...yaaaa....uuuhhh.... do not fall...be careful sweety) on a warm afternoon, it was cool to ride piggyback on mommy (the only way I can still carry him – he weighs almost 20 Kgs). “Only you” is a phrase I have also heard often enough recently, and it signals Jonathan return to toddler-hood and dependence on my assistance. It is mostly used for tasks he does not are to complete (like tidying up his toys, or putting his shoes in their place).
The compromise between “me alone”and “only you” is probably “its difficult for me” - this declaration signals that he is trying to complete a task but not getting it right – thus asking for my help at the last minute. “Its difficult for me” has become music to my ears – ah, he still needs me after all! I wonder already when he will cease to need my help, and he is just 3.5 years old! Life is so shirt and he is growing up sooo fast – what will I think when he is a teenager and no longer gives me the time of day? Another favourite of mine is “together” - wanting to do something together with me, such bliss!
Just the other day, Jonathan saw a self made video of me singing. Seeing me on the computer screen caught his attention and he requested to see mommy again and again on the screen. By the time his enthusiasm reduced, he already got the tune of the recorded song and yesterday he asked me to sing it for him and then “together” - he wanted to sing it with me. I naturally complied! The boy id a musical prodigy! He sang long before he could talk and his love of music has not dyed down now that he is able to express himself in speech. He loves to sing together with me and we usually sing children's songs and stuff from his DVD's – but this time he wanted the song from the Video, which is a traditional Hebrew text and not created for children – Ah! My heart rejoiced a the request There is hope for the INTERNET generation to which my son belongs – they will be connoisseurs of culture yet! As long as mommy can sing it right!
Imaginary snow storm
Jonathan has recently made a quantum leap when it comes to his imagination games. With the advanced age if 3.5 years he is finally playing imaginary games with his teddy bear (his main “action figure”, as he has no dolls) and other pretending games. A snow storm in the kitchen was the most recent imagining highlight.
Magic is the key to my son's new found happiness. We have a game in which Jonathan is the magician and I am affected by his magic. Thus I become animals or things and the boy laughs his ball like laugh every time I make ridiculous sounds or pose in a funny way, trying to helplessly simulate a carpet... But the most wonderful thing about this game is that it is the pure invention of Jonathan. He was inspired by a song that his kindergarten teacher sings when celebrating birthdays. The birthday kid is the leading magician and all the children obey various orders such as “jumping” , “lying down”, “roar like lions” etc. Another idea of turning a parent into an animal and then back again is presented in a story Jonathan knows (from the Israeli “Itamar”series).
Jonathan's invention is in the fact that he combined both ideas into a game of his own, and even more so in his decision to include me in the fun!
This game is truly fun and it has become quite a staple in the time we spend together. A wonderful new way to communicate and enjoy each other's company. I am regularly turned into a lion and then into a table – Jonathan finds furniture an especially entertaining feature in this game...the n after not moving for a bout a minute (I am a flat table top, no? or was it a blue balloon?) I am permitted to return to being “mom” again. A transaction for which I am particularly grateful and my smiles are returned by the sheer glee of my son's laughter.
For the Shavout holiday, it is customary to prepare a dairy dinner. At my workplace it was therefor decided to provide a company dairy lunch, with the contributions of the employees. For this occasion I decided to bake cheese boreks and asked Jonathan to help. Jonathan loves to help in the kitchen, and baking is a favorite pass-time because it means that here will be flour! Yes, that lovely white powder (I am referring to regular baking flour...) which makes all the difference. The only thing second to flour is the actual dough. Jonathan was only too eager to sprinkle flour on the kitchen counter and to roll the dough flat. Then he watched me spread the cheese filling, but the passive role was soon boring and so he turned his attention back to the flour. Scattering it in the air and yelling “schnee!” (which means snow in German) happily as he watched the white fluff slowly descend on the kitchen floor.
He then enjoyed wiping his hands on his shirt and watching it turn a shade of white, before repeating the process. I removed the flour basin from him only to watch helplessly as he moved on to the chicken soup powder – again throwing it in the air with glee while declaring that it too looked like snow. The result was one very happy child, excellent boreks and a very messy kitchen! For a pastry that was to take just 10 minutes to prepare and another 15 to bake, I found myself cleaning the kitchen and the living room for at least an hour – Jonathan had run off to show his floury white self to his daddy, thus spreading white powder all over the house! Yet despite the mess and the hard cleaning work, I cannot but smile as I recall Jonathan true happiness in creating his own weather! A home made snow storm of flour and chicken soup powder.
Magic is the key to my son's new found happiness. We have a game in which Jonathan is the magician and I am affected by his magic. Thus I become animals or things and the boy laughs his ball like laugh every time I make ridiculous sounds or pose in a funny way, trying to helplessly simulate a carpet... But the most wonderful thing about this game is that it is the pure invention of Jonathan. He was inspired by a song that his kindergarten teacher sings when celebrating birthdays. The birthday kid is the leading magician and all the children obey various orders such as “jumping” , “lying down”, “roar like lions” etc. Another idea of turning a parent into an animal and then back again is presented in a story Jonathan knows (from the Israeli “Itamar”series).
Jonathan's invention is in the fact that he combined both ideas into a game of his own, and even more so in his decision to include me in the fun!
This game is truly fun and it has become quite a staple in the time we spend together. A wonderful new way to communicate and enjoy each other's company. I am regularly turned into a lion and then into a table – Jonathan finds furniture an especially entertaining feature in this game...the n after not moving for a bout a minute (I am a flat table top, no? or was it a blue balloon?) I am permitted to return to being “mom” again. A transaction for which I am particularly grateful and my smiles are returned by the sheer glee of my son's laughter.
For the Shavout holiday, it is customary to prepare a dairy dinner. At my workplace it was therefor decided to provide a company dairy lunch, with the contributions of the employees. For this occasion I decided to bake cheese boreks and asked Jonathan to help. Jonathan loves to help in the kitchen, and baking is a favorite pass-time because it means that here will be flour! Yes, that lovely white powder (I am referring to regular baking flour...) which makes all the difference. The only thing second to flour is the actual dough. Jonathan was only too eager to sprinkle flour on the kitchen counter and to roll the dough flat. Then he watched me spread the cheese filling, but the passive role was soon boring and so he turned his attention back to the flour. Scattering it in the air and yelling “schnee!” (which means snow in German) happily as he watched the white fluff slowly descend on the kitchen floor.
He then enjoyed wiping his hands on his shirt and watching it turn a shade of white, before repeating the process. I removed the flour basin from him only to watch helplessly as he moved on to the chicken soup powder – again throwing it in the air with glee while declaring that it too looked like snow. The result was one very happy child, excellent boreks and a very messy kitchen! For a pastry that was to take just 10 minutes to prepare and another 15 to bake, I found myself cleaning the kitchen and the living room for at least an hour – Jonathan had run off to show his floury white self to his daddy, thus spreading white powder all over the house! Yet despite the mess and the hard cleaning work, I cannot but smile as I recall Jonathan true happiness in creating his own weather! A home made snow storm of flour and chicken soup powder.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Independence, borders, sharing: The delicate balance of growing up
Jonathan is growing and developing constantly. He is proud to be a big boy and all “grown up” as his kindergarten teacher says. He wants to be useful and it is my job to encourage him without going nuts in the process…
Despite Jonathan’s wish to share his experiences with me on a continuous basis, and his newly revealed ability to explain himself and order me about in coherent speech, he also wants to do many more things alone. He wants to show me that he is a big boy by preparing his own chocolate drink or juice. He is also very capable. In fact, he usually manages the task of preparing his soft drinks without making a mess. He only drips syrup if I try to assist him. The amount of chocolate powder that lands on the floor is considerably lessened if I do not try to help him.
On Saturday, I left the boy along for about 10 minutes. He decided he wanted to have a birthday party. It is not clear whose birthday it was or who were to be the guests, Jonathan was serving juice for everybody! Being left to himself, he used the time to take the three types of syrup off the shelf in the kitchen, take them out to the living room along with paper cups. He arranged the cups in neat rows (about 25 of them) and the poured small portions of syrup form all three taste varieties into the cups. He did not drip even once on the floor. I spent the next 25 minutes pouring the syrup back into the bottles and removing the cups, but Jonathan was already busy changing a DVD tape and playing it for himself (did I mention he got the DVD from the higher shelves - he has no problem raiding his father’s Simpson DVD collection).
Jonathan likes to help me. He likes to set the table and put out cutlery for everyone. We spent the spring holiday with my parents and so Jonathan was able to set the table for 4 repeatedly. He truly likes to be useful. He likes to pour juice for all the people at the table – regardless if not all of them want to drink the same juice as him – we eventually compromised on two glasses in addition to his own. As always, Jonathan likes to have his own way – he wants to be helpful on his terms. When my mother wanted to pour soup and thus refused to give Jonathan the soup plates to set on the table, he was insulted that he was not permitted to be helpful. It did not help that I explained that grandma needs to serve the soup first, or that it’s too warm to allow him to distribute the bowls.
Cutting his own bread slice into halves in order to make a sandwich is also a task he is trying to master. I wonder how long it will take before he wants to dice his own schnitzel. He already wants to cut up his own omelette to smaller pieces.
Being a big by also means he can hold onto his need to go to the restrooms. He likes to pee at every tree but he prefers to poo on a toilet seat and preferably at home (or in places he knows, like a restaurant/ cafe we visit repeatedly). We were in the play ground one afternoon when he announced he needed to “do the big one” in the toilet. He also insisted on going home to do so. We ran all the way home and I encouraged him to hold on and not let the goods slip out into his pants. The trip takes about 10 minutes running and Jonathan even stopped to look at numbers and wonder at their exact quantitative meaning (a hobby I usually encourage – he is just finding out that 72 and 27 are not the same and he loves 30, 32 but keeps mixing up 6 and 8 ).
Despite such delays, the boy held firm I find it a great improvement, because until very recently he announced his need to go to the restroom at almost the last minute, sometimes not containing himself until he was properly seated. But good intentions are sometimes just not enough. As long as he was dressed and running, he managed. Even when I fumbled for my keys at the entrance to our apartment, the boy held firm. We finally go into the house and he ran directly for the toilet. Unfortunately the moment he removed his underwear, the deed was done. The bulk just slipped on the floor before Jonathan managed to seat himself and I had to do some collecting and cleaning. I believe the relief he felt in getting it all out at last prevented any frustration on his part from missing the toilet seat by less than an inch. There was however only place for compliments, as he had managed to hold it all in for so long…
Another day we were returning from the theatre when he announced he had big plumbing pressure. Once again he was able to hold it in until we got home, this time taking a dump in the toilet properly. This was a great relief to me, as I was not really able to make a stop on the way home. On another day, after we visited his communication therapist we were driving to kindergarten and he said he needed to pee. I asked him to hold on until we reached the kindergarten but he refused, insisting that the needed it immediately. As uncomfortable as it was, I found a place to stop and Jonathan did not have to hold that in for too long, I bargained with him so that I could at least get the car out of the parking lot.
I think holding in liquids is just harder for him. Besides I really do think he finds it thrilling to pee outside. Thank God he is a toddler, or his habit of peeing (whenever he needs to and regardless of his location) near any tree on the side walk would have no real excuse. Honestly though, he is getting too old for this and soon we will have to restrain this behavior. I suppose that when we stop waking him up to pee once in the middle of the night, thus ensuring his bed remains dry, is when we should also start to insist that he hold on and use a toilet also for lighter requirements… Sharing his liquids with nature is not acceptable practice.
Still, I think Jonathan is lucky to be a boy, girls have it a lot harder…release in nature is just not so comfortable for females; I speak from experience after all…
Despite Jonathan’s wish to share his experiences with me on a continuous basis, and his newly revealed ability to explain himself and order me about in coherent speech, he also wants to do many more things alone. He wants to show me that he is a big boy by preparing his own chocolate drink or juice. He is also very capable. In fact, he usually manages the task of preparing his soft drinks without making a mess. He only drips syrup if I try to assist him. The amount of chocolate powder that lands on the floor is considerably lessened if I do not try to help him.
On Saturday, I left the boy along for about 10 minutes. He decided he wanted to have a birthday party. It is not clear whose birthday it was or who were to be the guests, Jonathan was serving juice for everybody! Being left to himself, he used the time to take the three types of syrup off the shelf in the kitchen, take them out to the living room along with paper cups. He arranged the cups in neat rows (about 25 of them) and the poured small portions of syrup form all three taste varieties into the cups. He did not drip even once on the floor. I spent the next 25 minutes pouring the syrup back into the bottles and removing the cups, but Jonathan was already busy changing a DVD tape and playing it for himself (did I mention he got the DVD from the higher shelves - he has no problem raiding his father’s Simpson DVD collection).
Jonathan likes to help me. He likes to set the table and put out cutlery for everyone. We spent the spring holiday with my parents and so Jonathan was able to set the table for 4 repeatedly. He truly likes to be useful. He likes to pour juice for all the people at the table – regardless if not all of them want to drink the same juice as him – we eventually compromised on two glasses in addition to his own. As always, Jonathan likes to have his own way – he wants to be helpful on his terms. When my mother wanted to pour soup and thus refused to give Jonathan the soup plates to set on the table, he was insulted that he was not permitted to be helpful. It did not help that I explained that grandma needs to serve the soup first, or that it’s too warm to allow him to distribute the bowls.
Cutting his own bread slice into halves in order to make a sandwich is also a task he is trying to master. I wonder how long it will take before he wants to dice his own schnitzel. He already wants to cut up his own omelette to smaller pieces.
Being a big by also means he can hold onto his need to go to the restrooms. He likes to pee at every tree but he prefers to poo on a toilet seat and preferably at home (or in places he knows, like a restaurant/ cafe we visit repeatedly). We were in the play ground one afternoon when he announced he needed to “do the big one” in the toilet. He also insisted on going home to do so. We ran all the way home and I encouraged him to hold on and not let the goods slip out into his pants. The trip takes about 10 minutes running and Jonathan even stopped to look at numbers and wonder at their exact quantitative meaning (a hobby I usually encourage – he is just finding out that 72 and 27 are not the same and he loves 30, 32 but keeps mixing up 6 and 8 ).
Despite such delays, the boy held firm I find it a great improvement, because until very recently he announced his need to go to the restroom at almost the last minute, sometimes not containing himself until he was properly seated. But good intentions are sometimes just not enough. As long as he was dressed and running, he managed. Even when I fumbled for my keys at the entrance to our apartment, the boy held firm. We finally go into the house and he ran directly for the toilet. Unfortunately the moment he removed his underwear, the deed was done. The bulk just slipped on the floor before Jonathan managed to seat himself and I had to do some collecting and cleaning. I believe the relief he felt in getting it all out at last prevented any frustration on his part from missing the toilet seat by less than an inch. There was however only place for compliments, as he had managed to hold it all in for so long…
Another day we were returning from the theatre when he announced he had big plumbing pressure. Once again he was able to hold it in until we got home, this time taking a dump in the toilet properly. This was a great relief to me, as I was not really able to make a stop on the way home. On another day, after we visited his communication therapist we were driving to kindergarten and he said he needed to pee. I asked him to hold on until we reached the kindergarten but he refused, insisting that the needed it immediately. As uncomfortable as it was, I found a place to stop and Jonathan did not have to hold that in for too long, I bargained with him so that I could at least get the car out of the parking lot.
I think holding in liquids is just harder for him. Besides I really do think he finds it thrilling to pee outside. Thank God he is a toddler, or his habit of peeing (whenever he needs to and regardless of his location) near any tree on the side walk would have no real excuse. Honestly though, he is getting too old for this and soon we will have to restrain this behavior. I suppose that when we stop waking him up to pee once in the middle of the night, thus ensuring his bed remains dry, is when we should also start to insist that he hold on and use a toilet also for lighter requirements… Sharing his liquids with nature is not acceptable practice.
Still, I think Jonathan is lucky to be a boy, girls have it a lot harder…release in nature is just not so comfortable for females; I speak from experience after all…
The importance of the teddy bear
Jonathan’s speech therapy seams to finally take effect. With his improvement is conversation come also the first signs of imagination games (this is somehow connected to my understanding) . His teddy bear is playing a large role in Jonathan’s pretending games. The bear called “Dubbon” must do everything and share everything with the boy – resulting in higher frequency washing for the somewhat battered doll.
If daddy carries Jonathan on his shoulder, then Jonathan needs to carry Dubbon on his shoulders. Together the three make a very cute tower. When Jonathan is drinking, Dubbon must too. If Jonathan is sliding in the playground, so is Dubbon and when Jonathan rides his red tri-cycle, Dubbon is positioned between his legs on the seat. After Jonathan helps me prepare him a cup of chocolate drink, Dubbon must also have a cup. It remains an interesting point who eventually drinks the extra cup, Jonathan or mommy. When Jonthan is watching TV, Dubbon is seated in the plastic chair next to him watching too. When we read a bedtime story, Dubbon is also seated in mommy’s lap listening attentively. At such moments I cannot help thinking that thankfully Dubbon is rather quiet and well behaved…
Dubbon goes everywhere with him and I am in constant fear that the doll may be lost. It’s true that we have a similar doll that Jonathan has named “Teddy”, who is acceptable as a cuddling alternative when Dubbon is not around (like when he is being washed) but Jonathan is just not attached to this proxy. Whenever I let Teddy out of the drawer to take Dubbon’s place ever so temporarily, I allow Teddy to remain alongside the returned Dubbon and thus both bears remain acceptable alternatives. But two bears is too much for Jonathan to hold and its very cute to watch him try to cuddle two bears, or get them both to sit nicely in his lap for the bedtime story. After a few days I relieve him of this duty by returning Teddy to the drawer and allowing Dubbon his all too natural rule.
Teddy is just not really a replacement for Dubbon. Besides, it turns out that Teddy is a girl and Dubbon is a boy - even though the dolls have no indication of sex whatsoever. Jonathan’s interest in gender has finally surfaced and we went over the theme of pregnancy and boys and girls have different private parts rather intensively in the last month or so… The fact that my sister was 8 month pregnant at the time proved most helpful to deal with the question of “where do babies come from?” which naturally relates to the theme of boys and girls are different. I raided the book shops and purchased 6 different books in different levels to deal with any questions with colourful happy pictures and rhymes…
Jonathan also likes to share many of his activities with me, a little compulsive and dependant on mommy if you ask me - but on the other hand it can be so gratifying to be so needed. He wants to sit in my chair and demands that we change places. Then he remembers that the chair I am using is actually his, so we change back. He shares his food with me, even feeds me (saying “open a big mouth now mommy… and “flying “the food into it for enhancement – he is especially happy if I close my mouth and the “plane” crashes into it). He likes me give me his things as gifts. “one for Jonathan and one for mommy” is a reoccurring sentence, that is connected to almost anything (lately the version one more mommy, one for Dubbon and one for Jonathan” is also being heard more often). If he is eating a cookie he wants me to have one too. If he is looking at a book, he wants me to do so too. Jonathan also tries to share and participate in my experiences. Thus if I am cleaning, he wants to clean too (making quite a mess with a mop and water). He also likes to help with the washing. Putting in the soap and pressing the button, Dubbon needs to also press the button – thus sharing my chore.
We were stuck in traffic one afternoon and I opened a window to inquire from the drivers standing outside what was going on (some problems with a truck in a narrow side street). Jonathan wanted to open his window too, so he too could shout out. We ended up chanting together in rhythm “open the street, open the street!” and while I used the horn of the car, he used a whistle he had with him. He totally immersed himself in my concern with the traffic and was very instrumental in turning an otherwise stressed, tedious and impatient quarter of a hour into a smiling game for me. As Dubbon was not around, Jonathan did not need to think of a creative function for the bear in the rather ridiculous and fun scene that developed. Chanting the street opening manta (without horns) became a favourite car pastime in the following days, regardless of the true traffic situation. In fact its great fun to chant in an empty street!
Sometimes I wonder if Jonathan’s total adoption of Dubbon as a “best friend” who shares all and his dependence on my company are his alternative for his lack of siblings, but things do not always work out the way we want them to… Dubbon and myself both lose importance (even though he is always on the lookout for me to some extent) when other children are around (cousins he meets at my mother’s or friends in the play ground). I guess I will have to wait and see if my concern has any real basis.
Having just spent a week together on vacation he has enjoyed greater freedom in having the bear at his side almost all the time and spending lots of time with mommy. This has increased his dependence on my company and that of the bear. The return to routine and kindergarten is tough. Jonathan cries once again at separation in the morning (a phenomena we have not seen in recent months)and wishes repeatedly to go home (where I believe he enjoys more freedom, less structure and less discipline than in kindergarten). Dubbon was allowed to go to kindergarten with him (at the advice of the kindergarten teacher, who thinks the doll can help soothe the boy) and so his foot was marked for identification (there is a very similar teddy bear belonging to another child and the last thing I need is confusion between the two).
Dubbon has a busy life, and needs to be washed more often. All things considered, tough, the doll is rather in good condition despite about 2.5 years of intensive use (Jonathan has him since 6 months of age, Teddy is newer and joined us when Jonathan was 2 years old). I admit I am fascinated how Jonathan finds ways to integrate the doll into his life. I can only hope this is a sign of normal development and imagination games, and not the beginning of a long dependence saga.
If daddy carries Jonathan on his shoulder, then Jonathan needs to carry Dubbon on his shoulders. Together the three make a very cute tower. When Jonathan is drinking, Dubbon must too. If Jonathan is sliding in the playground, so is Dubbon and when Jonathan rides his red tri-cycle, Dubbon is positioned between his legs on the seat. After Jonathan helps me prepare him a cup of chocolate drink, Dubbon must also have a cup. It remains an interesting point who eventually drinks the extra cup, Jonathan or mommy. When Jonthan is watching TV, Dubbon is seated in the plastic chair next to him watching too. When we read a bedtime story, Dubbon is also seated in mommy’s lap listening attentively. At such moments I cannot help thinking that thankfully Dubbon is rather quiet and well behaved…
Dubbon goes everywhere with him and I am in constant fear that the doll may be lost. It’s true that we have a similar doll that Jonathan has named “Teddy”, who is acceptable as a cuddling alternative when Dubbon is not around (like when he is being washed) but Jonathan is just not attached to this proxy. Whenever I let Teddy out of the drawer to take Dubbon’s place ever so temporarily, I allow Teddy to remain alongside the returned Dubbon and thus both bears remain acceptable alternatives. But two bears is too much for Jonathan to hold and its very cute to watch him try to cuddle two bears, or get them both to sit nicely in his lap for the bedtime story. After a few days I relieve him of this duty by returning Teddy to the drawer and allowing Dubbon his all too natural rule.
Teddy is just not really a replacement for Dubbon. Besides, it turns out that Teddy is a girl and Dubbon is a boy - even though the dolls have no indication of sex whatsoever. Jonathan’s interest in gender has finally surfaced and we went over the theme of pregnancy and boys and girls have different private parts rather intensively in the last month or so… The fact that my sister was 8 month pregnant at the time proved most helpful to deal with the question of “where do babies come from?” which naturally relates to the theme of boys and girls are different. I raided the book shops and purchased 6 different books in different levels to deal with any questions with colourful happy pictures and rhymes…
Jonathan also likes to share many of his activities with me, a little compulsive and dependant on mommy if you ask me - but on the other hand it can be so gratifying to be so needed. He wants to sit in my chair and demands that we change places. Then he remembers that the chair I am using is actually his, so we change back. He shares his food with me, even feeds me (saying “open a big mouth now mommy… and “flying “the food into it for enhancement – he is especially happy if I close my mouth and the “plane” crashes into it). He likes me give me his things as gifts. “one for Jonathan and one for mommy” is a reoccurring sentence, that is connected to almost anything (lately the version one more mommy, one for Dubbon and one for Jonathan” is also being heard more often). If he is eating a cookie he wants me to have one too. If he is looking at a book, he wants me to do so too. Jonathan also tries to share and participate in my experiences. Thus if I am cleaning, he wants to clean too (making quite a mess with a mop and water). He also likes to help with the washing. Putting in the soap and pressing the button, Dubbon needs to also press the button – thus sharing my chore.
We were stuck in traffic one afternoon and I opened a window to inquire from the drivers standing outside what was going on (some problems with a truck in a narrow side street). Jonathan wanted to open his window too, so he too could shout out. We ended up chanting together in rhythm “open the street, open the street!” and while I used the horn of the car, he used a whistle he had with him. He totally immersed himself in my concern with the traffic and was very instrumental in turning an otherwise stressed, tedious and impatient quarter of a hour into a smiling game for me. As Dubbon was not around, Jonathan did not need to think of a creative function for the bear in the rather ridiculous and fun scene that developed. Chanting the street opening manta (without horns) became a favourite car pastime in the following days, regardless of the true traffic situation. In fact its great fun to chant in an empty street!
Sometimes I wonder if Jonathan’s total adoption of Dubbon as a “best friend” who shares all and his dependence on my company are his alternative for his lack of siblings, but things do not always work out the way we want them to… Dubbon and myself both lose importance (even though he is always on the lookout for me to some extent) when other children are around (cousins he meets at my mother’s or friends in the play ground). I guess I will have to wait and see if my concern has any real basis.
Having just spent a week together on vacation he has enjoyed greater freedom in having the bear at his side almost all the time and spending lots of time with mommy. This has increased his dependence on my company and that of the bear. The return to routine and kindergarten is tough. Jonathan cries once again at separation in the morning (a phenomena we have not seen in recent months)and wishes repeatedly to go home (where I believe he enjoys more freedom, less structure and less discipline than in kindergarten). Dubbon was allowed to go to kindergarten with him (at the advice of the kindergarten teacher, who thinks the doll can help soothe the boy) and so his foot was marked for identification (there is a very similar teddy bear belonging to another child and the last thing I need is confusion between the two).
Dubbon has a busy life, and needs to be washed more often. All things considered, tough, the doll is rather in good condition despite about 2.5 years of intensive use (Jonathan has him since 6 months of age, Teddy is newer and joined us when Jonathan was 2 years old). I admit I am fascinated how Jonathan finds ways to integrate the doll into his life. I can only hope this is a sign of normal development and imagination games, and not the beginning of a long dependence saga.
Speech Therapy
At the advanced age of 3 years and 5 months, Jonathan is finally showing serious speech abilities and is finally conducting a conversation with us. But parents should be careful what they wish for; conversation has opened a whole new dimension of negotiation and manipulation for the clever rascal…
After 3 months of speech therapy, Jonathan is finally showing some results. The boy has started composing sentences and is finally really talking with us. Regretfully, my husband cannot enjoy much of this development because he hardly understands what the boy is saying in Hebrew, but for me it is obvious that Jonathan’s speech capability has made a quantum leap! Even in German he is slowly beginning to compose sentences, and he also imitates the English he hears when watching the Simpson’s DVD tapes his daddy so diligently collects.
A whole new world of communication is now open to us. Jonathan is finally responding in words to things he is being told. Asking questions and expecting answers (which I sometimes do not know how to give. Turns out it is very hard to explain things to a three year old…). We were longing for the moment in which we would be able it finally converse with the boy and now our wish is backfiring a little, with the new channel of communication a new dimension of checking his borders and expressing his mind has opened. Jonathan is negotiating his position in our household. If in the past, he would show his wishes mainly via physical resistance, he now combines it with words and thus doubling his arsenal of tactics to challenge my authority. Now not only do I have to chase him about, I also have to argue every point.
The word he uses most is “no”. Everything should just NOT happen the way we parents say it is. He does not accept the simple explanation that some things are a force of nature (rain) and other a simple necessity (like going to work and to kindergarten each day). From a book about a boy who has a new baby brother, he has chosen to take the literal message of demanding attention that can be found in it, rather than the message of playing and sharing with siblings, cousins or friends. The fact that Jonathan can express his opinions means we need to take them into consideration. Even if we do not agree with him, these themes now need to be discussed and our point of view explained. In order to get him to do anything peacefully, Jonathan has to agree to the solution we propose – our wits are always in full alert to all the possibilities of offering an attractive solution that is also acceptable to us.
Speech however is not all bad. Clearer communication has lowered many stress factors. Jonathan’s frustrations at being misunderstood have been considerably reduced and it is a true pleasure to discuss the day’s routine with him. He can also demonstrate his true understanding of things and the dynamics of his daily experiences with great clarity. At last my son can tell me what happened in kindergarten today. My mother finally understands her grandson and can cooperate with his expressed wishes.
Jonathan also has a new tool of expressing his love. Just the other day, as he was getting ready for bed, I explained that I must go out. The boy started protesting that I must NOT go out (the word “no” again) and I simply replied that I will go and come back to him soon. He did not like it and repeated his wish/demand that I not go. Then he paused to think and said in a wining voice “but I promise that I will behave”- big eyes beckoned me to accept his gesture. Good behaviour in exchange for my remaining at home. I found the whole scene just too adorable! His train of thought shows that he understands the importance of good behaviour to me. He demonstrates an amazing sense of logic and of consequences. Despite extra points for true cuteness, I went out and his daddy put him to bed.
After 3 months of speech therapy, Jonathan is finally showing some results. The boy has started composing sentences and is finally really talking with us. Regretfully, my husband cannot enjoy much of this development because he hardly understands what the boy is saying in Hebrew, but for me it is obvious that Jonathan’s speech capability has made a quantum leap! Even in German he is slowly beginning to compose sentences, and he also imitates the English he hears when watching the Simpson’s DVD tapes his daddy so diligently collects.
A whole new world of communication is now open to us. Jonathan is finally responding in words to things he is being told. Asking questions and expecting answers (which I sometimes do not know how to give. Turns out it is very hard to explain things to a three year old…). We were longing for the moment in which we would be able it finally converse with the boy and now our wish is backfiring a little, with the new channel of communication a new dimension of checking his borders and expressing his mind has opened. Jonathan is negotiating his position in our household. If in the past, he would show his wishes mainly via physical resistance, he now combines it with words and thus doubling his arsenal of tactics to challenge my authority. Now not only do I have to chase him about, I also have to argue every point.
The word he uses most is “no”. Everything should just NOT happen the way we parents say it is. He does not accept the simple explanation that some things are a force of nature (rain) and other a simple necessity (like going to work and to kindergarten each day). From a book about a boy who has a new baby brother, he has chosen to take the literal message of demanding attention that can be found in it, rather than the message of playing and sharing with siblings, cousins or friends. The fact that Jonathan can express his opinions means we need to take them into consideration. Even if we do not agree with him, these themes now need to be discussed and our point of view explained. In order to get him to do anything peacefully, Jonathan has to agree to the solution we propose – our wits are always in full alert to all the possibilities of offering an attractive solution that is also acceptable to us.
Speech however is not all bad. Clearer communication has lowered many stress factors. Jonathan’s frustrations at being misunderstood have been considerably reduced and it is a true pleasure to discuss the day’s routine with him. He can also demonstrate his true understanding of things and the dynamics of his daily experiences with great clarity. At last my son can tell me what happened in kindergarten today. My mother finally understands her grandson and can cooperate with his expressed wishes.
Jonathan also has a new tool of expressing his love. Just the other day, as he was getting ready for bed, I explained that I must go out. The boy started protesting that I must NOT go out (the word “no” again) and I simply replied that I will go and come back to him soon. He did not like it and repeated his wish/demand that I not go. Then he paused to think and said in a wining voice “but I promise that I will behave”- big eyes beckoned me to accept his gesture. Good behaviour in exchange for my remaining at home. I found the whole scene just too adorable! His train of thought shows that he understands the importance of good behaviour to me. He demonstrates an amazing sense of logic and of consequences. Despite extra points for true cuteness, I went out and his daddy put him to bed.
Purim Carnaval, Dressing Up
Jonathan is old enough to actually enjoy the idea of dressing up in the season of Carnival which also corresponds to the Jewish Purim holiday. He is also big enough to choose his costume; variety however makes for a jumpy (ha ha) decision…
With Purim coming up, Jonathan was permitted to dress himself up in kindergarten for a whole week with silly hats, fun accessories and costumes. This meant he had lots of fun with the whole idea of dressing up, but also that he could not be expected to be able to choose a costume ahead of time. Variety can be confusing.
As he is also relatively tall, the costumes for toddlers will not do, this means the prices are becoming considerable. I therefore decided to learn from last year’s mistake and buy the costume at the latest moment possible. Last year I bought a clown costume and a week before the party he asked for a rabbit. And so I paid for two costumes. Luckily the clown was reduced and Jonathan was still small enough for toddler sizes. This year I started asking about the costume 3 weeks before the party, so the theme can “cook” a bit in his head. But I had no intention of buying early, as I was convinced he would change his mind many times. Jonathan surprised me by remaining constant, he repeatedly mentioned a lion or a bear. I asked him if the bear would be as panda and he got fixed on the panda bear and stayed with it for two whole weeks.
So I purchased a toddler panda costume (as the bear was not available in larger sizes) and the split it into two parts and added fabric so that I created a panda bear suit for a taller boy. Jonathan was very happy to receive the costume and a whole week before the party in the kindergarten, which was to be the high point of the Purim festival; he dressed up in the panda daily. There were also the clown costume and rabbit from last year, which were also split up and enlarged, and he dressed in them too at home. Variety seemed to be successful, providing him with fun for a whole week of dressing up at home. The Panda however was the most popular. I was hopeful till the very last, that he would remain constant to his request. But on the day of the party, the boy insisted on wearing the Rabbit from last year. The only condolence I could have was that the pictures taken last year of Jonathan in the Rabbit costume were not really very nice, and that this year I could hope for better pictures because the boy has finally started to cooperate with the camera.
And so, Jonathan had particular fun with the tail on the pants which he showed me, posing for the camera with his butt stuck out. We also both put rabbit ears on our head and made some self portrait pictures using the bathroom mirror. Even in kindergarten we had the photographer take a picture of us together. Even Jonathan’s daddy has a cool picture with the white rabbit – Jonathan the rabbit kissing daddy on the lips is just too cute!
With Purim coming up, Jonathan was permitted to dress himself up in kindergarten for a whole week with silly hats, fun accessories and costumes. This meant he had lots of fun with the whole idea of dressing up, but also that he could not be expected to be able to choose a costume ahead of time. Variety can be confusing.
As he is also relatively tall, the costumes for toddlers will not do, this means the prices are becoming considerable. I therefore decided to learn from last year’s mistake and buy the costume at the latest moment possible. Last year I bought a clown costume and a week before the party he asked for a rabbit. And so I paid for two costumes. Luckily the clown was reduced and Jonathan was still small enough for toddler sizes. This year I started asking about the costume 3 weeks before the party, so the theme can “cook” a bit in his head. But I had no intention of buying early, as I was convinced he would change his mind many times. Jonathan surprised me by remaining constant, he repeatedly mentioned a lion or a bear. I asked him if the bear would be as panda and he got fixed on the panda bear and stayed with it for two whole weeks.
So I purchased a toddler panda costume (as the bear was not available in larger sizes) and the split it into two parts and added fabric so that I created a panda bear suit for a taller boy. Jonathan was very happy to receive the costume and a whole week before the party in the kindergarten, which was to be the high point of the Purim festival; he dressed up in the panda daily. There were also the clown costume and rabbit from last year, which were also split up and enlarged, and he dressed in them too at home. Variety seemed to be successful, providing him with fun for a whole week of dressing up at home. The Panda however was the most popular. I was hopeful till the very last, that he would remain constant to his request. But on the day of the party, the boy insisted on wearing the Rabbit from last year. The only condolence I could have was that the pictures taken last year of Jonathan in the Rabbit costume were not really very nice, and that this year I could hope for better pictures because the boy has finally started to cooperate with the camera.
And so, Jonathan had particular fun with the tail on the pants which he showed me, posing for the camera with his butt stuck out. We also both put rabbit ears on our head and made some self portrait pictures using the bathroom mirror. Even in kindergarten we had the photographer take a picture of us together. Even Jonathan’s daddy has a cool picture with the white rabbit – Jonathan the rabbit kissing daddy on the lips is just too cute!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Independence – continued
Jonathan’s show of independence and headstrong will continue. I suppose the phrase “me alone” or “only me” are one of the most familiar to mothers of 3 year olds. In everything he does, he wishes to do it by himself. And the scope of tasks he wishes to take care of independently only grows.
The newest task he wants to conduct independently is getting dressed. It is of vital importance that he chooses the color of his underwear (I wonder why, they are hardly seen…) and then he tries to put them and his pants on. The underwear is a task he is slowly mastering, but the trousers are harder and it usually ends in a wail for help from “mama!”He likes to determine if he needs to go out with sunglasses and baseball cap, or rather a coat. He wants to decide if to wear a pullover or not and he protests if my decision is contrast to his.
Hi likes to maneuver me into walking in a certain way or into a game of catch or football. And ordering people around is no new trait – just his scope of understanding and of orders given has increased with age. Although standing up to him becomes more difficult, it also becomes more necessary in order to allow for his growing independence (and with it freedom of some extent) without allowing him to develop into a spoiled monster who deals only in tantrums. We are really lucky that he is really a sweet natured and good little boy. The battles are carefully chosen and the rules are being constantly tested and set.
Jonathan wants to put his own food into a plate; he wants to serve his own dinner. He wants to choose his own food and then go get it. Climbing the kitchen counter in order to reach the serial on the top of the fridge is no deterrent. Raiding the fridge is becoming routine. He wants to watch “grown up” DVD and likes best to “raid” his daddy’s collection of M.A.S.H and Simpson DVD’s while standing on a high chair. Talking on the phone is also something he likes and does well. He is fetched from day care center everyday by his father and then they call me at work and Jonathan tells me about his day.
Yesterday he displayed just how far his independence and knowledge of his world goes. Jonathan wanted to make himself sweetened juice. In the process of pouring the syrup (while he was standing on a chair in the kitchen and his bottle was standing on the counter) it spilled on the floor. The boy lost no time in cleaning up the mess. He took the kitchen cloth, opened the tap to dampen it and started scrubbing the floor with the wet fabric. He repeated this process and was soon in the process of playfully cleaning the kitchen, repeatedly wetting the rag, but also his own shirt sleeves in the process. In his enthusiasm, he would have moved on to the living room, but at that stage I stopped the game and mopped the kitchen floor with a dry cloth for the last time myself.
There is no moderation in his action. Whatever he does, he does from the heart! Weather is it waking me up on a Saturday morning with repeated calls of “mommy get up the sum is shining” or insisting I sit by him and watch TV with him, actually pulling me down to a sitting position. If he prepares a plate of serial for himself (he likes it net, not milk or liquid) then he will make 3 plates. One chocolate bar is near enough – he wants two and one waffle or cookie is not satisfying, he needs at least three – even if he will not eat them at all. He knows numbers and he understands counting and adding as a concept. (Calling out numbers to me when we drive past houses and being so cute while confusing 27 and 72 or calling al double digit numbers “twelve”). He is always negotiating the number of items he is to get. In every new action, he re-negotiates his position and shows an incredible obstinacy to getting his own way.
He is honing his skills too. As I type this words I hear movement in the kitchen (again), so I stand up to see what he is up to. Jonathan is sitting on the counter in the process of pouring himself some apple syrup into two bottles (one is never enough). He knows he is not allowed on the counter but it is more comfortable for him. Still upon my entrance he climbs back down to the chair and continues his task. He takes the bottles with syrup and fills them with tap water and then soda water. He just made himself 2 portions (of course one is not enough) of a classic German apple juice drink = home made “Apfel Sprudel” a la Jonathan...
The newest task he wants to conduct independently is getting dressed. It is of vital importance that he chooses the color of his underwear (I wonder why, they are hardly seen…) and then he tries to put them and his pants on. The underwear is a task he is slowly mastering, but the trousers are harder and it usually ends in a wail for help from “mama!”He likes to determine if he needs to go out with sunglasses and baseball cap, or rather a coat. He wants to decide if to wear a pullover or not and he protests if my decision is contrast to his.
Hi likes to maneuver me into walking in a certain way or into a game of catch or football. And ordering people around is no new trait – just his scope of understanding and of orders given has increased with age. Although standing up to him becomes more difficult, it also becomes more necessary in order to allow for his growing independence (and with it freedom of some extent) without allowing him to develop into a spoiled monster who deals only in tantrums. We are really lucky that he is really a sweet natured and good little boy. The battles are carefully chosen and the rules are being constantly tested and set.
Jonathan wants to put his own food into a plate; he wants to serve his own dinner. He wants to choose his own food and then go get it. Climbing the kitchen counter in order to reach the serial on the top of the fridge is no deterrent. Raiding the fridge is becoming routine. He wants to watch “grown up” DVD and likes best to “raid” his daddy’s collection of M.A.S.H and Simpson DVD’s while standing on a high chair. Talking on the phone is also something he likes and does well. He is fetched from day care center everyday by his father and then they call me at work and Jonathan tells me about his day.
Yesterday he displayed just how far his independence and knowledge of his world goes. Jonathan wanted to make himself sweetened juice. In the process of pouring the syrup (while he was standing on a chair in the kitchen and his bottle was standing on the counter) it spilled on the floor. The boy lost no time in cleaning up the mess. He took the kitchen cloth, opened the tap to dampen it and started scrubbing the floor with the wet fabric. He repeated this process and was soon in the process of playfully cleaning the kitchen, repeatedly wetting the rag, but also his own shirt sleeves in the process. In his enthusiasm, he would have moved on to the living room, but at that stage I stopped the game and mopped the kitchen floor with a dry cloth for the last time myself.
There is no moderation in his action. Whatever he does, he does from the heart! Weather is it waking me up on a Saturday morning with repeated calls of “mommy get up the sum is shining” or insisting I sit by him and watch TV with him, actually pulling me down to a sitting position. If he prepares a plate of serial for himself (he likes it net, not milk or liquid) then he will make 3 plates. One chocolate bar is near enough – he wants two and one waffle or cookie is not satisfying, he needs at least three – even if he will not eat them at all. He knows numbers and he understands counting and adding as a concept. (Calling out numbers to me when we drive past houses and being so cute while confusing 27 and 72 or calling al double digit numbers “twelve”). He is always negotiating the number of items he is to get. In every new action, he re-negotiates his position and shows an incredible obstinacy to getting his own way.
He is honing his skills too. As I type this words I hear movement in the kitchen (again), so I stand up to see what he is up to. Jonathan is sitting on the counter in the process of pouring himself some apple syrup into two bottles (one is never enough). He knows he is not allowed on the counter but it is more comfortable for him. Still upon my entrance he climbs back down to the chair and continues his task. He takes the bottles with syrup and fills them with tap water and then soda water. He just made himself 2 portions (of course one is not enough) of a classic German apple juice drink = home made “Apfel Sprudel” a la Jonathan...
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