When I first got pregnant I gave no thought whatsoever to the change a baby would bring into my life or to getting organized for it (who knew what I was getting into…). At about 6 months into my pregnancy my practical side took over and I started planning the baby logistics. We will use the guestroom for the baby, rearrange it. So, what do we need for a baby? I focused on three things: a stroller, a baby bed and diaper changing table. I planned to get the stroller and table from my sister, who has two bigger children and the bed I intended for my husband to purchase in the few days after the birth. For months I went around with the idea that these arrangements were all I needed! Baby requirements all taken care of! But still, being a practical person, I asked friends where I should purchase the bed for a good price without compromising the quality and this is how I eventually got hold of "The List".
There is a list that circulates in Israel and it is intended for the new mother to be. This list originates from a chain that sells baby stuff (do not ask me which one…) but has gone through some revisions and there are probably a few versions circulating because mothers give it to friends about to become parents for the first time.
This list is a shocking experience for any" almost new mom" because it is LONG! From three big items I was suddenly faced with the fact that I needed many smaller things for my new born. After all one must admit I forgot all about diapers, pacifiers, bottles, sheets for the baby bed, a pen, and oh! Yes, a car seat! (Without which no one will let you and your baby leave the hospital in Israel…) The list had it all and more! To add to my shock effect, in the 34th week I had early cramps and went to hospital in the knowledge that I might have to give birth early and that there was NOTHING! in the house for the baby. That I hate being unprepared is an understatement…so you can imagine what my frame of mind was…
I did not give birth that night, but reality hit me pretty hard and I spend the next day reviewing the list and trying to decide what was safe enough to buy immediately – from a financial and mystical point of view. (In Israel, it is considered bad luck to have the big baby items delivered to the house before the birth, you order in advance but you only get the stuff delivered on the day! So the poor husband has lots to do while the mommy and baby are still in hospital). I eventually decided on the little stuff that I am sure to need like bottles, 1 pack of diapers, a suit of cute cloths for my precious, a baby blanket and 2 pacifiers (at 4.5 months Jonathan has become the proud owner of 11 pacifiers scattered al over his terrain – that is, where he is likely to spend time, there is a pacifier near by…this is what a lazy mom does). I also brought utensils for the pregnant woman like breast feeding pads and "one time" panties.
There is of course the other side to this story – the list is really long and there are words in it I did not understand – like Daphne (turns out it the brand of the most popular bath seat in Israel). This being the case, it was clear to me that the list is a bit too much; over done and that there is no way I really needed everything on it. So, once again I turned to friends for their opinions and got too many… different people, different tastes and sometimes of course contradictory to each other. My sister did not bother with the Daphne and my cousin's daughter did not like it. My other cousin's son however does use the device and his mother is a delighted advocate for it, as it spared her lots of backache…so what is right?
Considering this question, I have decided to review it again from the vintage point of having a 6 months old baby. I am still using a lot of the equipment I first got for Jonathan when he was born, and I believe I have the experience to comment on items in the list and thus help any upcoming "new moms" get over this vast hurdle. Because of its length, I will not comment on every item, just the main things. If I did not comment about a certain item that you may see on your version of the list, you probably do not need it – so do not hurry and buy it unless you feel it is missing when you care for your new baby.
The expenses for your new baby can be a bottomless pit! Spending too much is the easiest thing you can do, but you also need to store your purchases (especially if eventually you do not use them) so sorting out the list and thinking out your purchases in advance is an economical as well as a logistic issue. It might seem a bit taxing for a new mom to be but the effort of planning ahead is worth it.
This blog may be a little (or is in fact a lot) longer than usual, but I hope this will indeed be helpful for women who are almost new moms, if only for three reasons.
1 – No need to make baby store owners too rich. They deserve good earnings for the simple idea of putting all the baby stuff together in one store and making baby shopping easy. They also make sure we have a variety for our little ones. But there no need to go too far by purchasing list items that are purely "push" marketing.
2 – Our parents raised us without all this stuff, they had fabric diapers and a crib and not much else. We must always remember that.
3 – The clueless "new parent to be" might find this list a good starting point but still it is always better to learn from other people's mistakes (at least that is always what my mom used to say...)so here is the results of all of mine.
The first item in the list is the stroller – well of course you will need one. The second item is a baby car seat – you will need one too if you have a car. Usually these two items are sold together and fit into each other. I cannot stress this enough – invest in a stroller that is right for you. Take the time to research with friends who have babies and take their stroller for a walk…yes, yes, walk it so you know if you like it. Learn what is necessary for you and then look for the right stroller. A good stroller does not need to cost a fortune. You could also get one second hand. I think it is important to make sure that you walk comfortably with a stroller – without banging your legs in it (a problem especially for tall men). Also see that it indeed fits in the trunk of your car! Test that at the store before you make your purchase. Check that you can carry it easily when folded (mommy's can find it hard to carry things soon after birth) so you can easily store it when not in use. Make sure you are confident and comfortable with opening and closing the stroller and attaching the car seat properly in the car.
I also like a stroller with a big basket – because then it does your carrying for you – great for lazy bums like me who take their babies to the supermarket only to load the shopping into the stroller basket…
The next item is the baby bag. You will definitely need a bag for taking diapers and baby formula and bottles etc. when you go out. The question is – will you need the huge bags that are always sold in the baby shops with lots of pockets, for outrageous prices! I think not. I do not like large heavy bags, no matter what I am carrying – I try to make it compact. I found a nice regular bag to use for Jonathan's stuff and I am sure I did not pay any sum near the over charged special baby bags' price.
A hat! Well, is your baby a summer or winter born? This will influence the hat you need to buy. Do not prepare for the next season in advance, your child will grow so much until it becomes the season he/she was not born in that you should no purchase any hats or in fact other clothes in advance. If you can borrow baby clothes from others and then return them when they are too small for your child, all the better. For starters you need only a few suits for your baby. Buy or collect all sorts and then learn what you like best – every mom and baby find another cut or snaps closing system comfortable. After you know what you like, sort out the stuff you need from the loads of cloths you have collected or buy accordingly.
A baby bath with a stand - This is a good item because you can give you child a bath in safety without breaking you back in the process. I did not buy this straight away, though. I bathed my son in the bathroom sink for almost too months until he outgrew it. Some would also recommend a baby bath chair (the above mentioned Daphne). This device is supposed to make it easier to bath your baby because the baby can lean on it in the bath and you do not have to hold him/her. My advice in this case is; find out first if your baby likes to bath! If so, yes! You need the chair. Your baby baths will be long and you need all the help you can get. My Jonathan does not enjoy the water, so a bath is short and functional. Hence a baby bath seat would be one more plastic item we would need to regularly be able to store, and we have no room for extra stuff.
Bottles – I would not recommend buying the smallest ones at all unless you fly a lot with your baby (you are only allowed 100ml fluids in airplanes these days). Your baby's meals will soon be larger than the first 125ml bottles and you will move on to 220ml bottles and the little ones have no use. Brands and exact sizes are abundant and I will not make any recommendations because this is a matter of taste. As far as I know all are safe to use and that is what really counts.
A sterilization pot – I found the microwave version very useful. You clean the bottles quickly and economically. The electric one gets the work done in the same time as a simple pot with boiling water, in my opinion a too long 10 minute process– so I see no advantage to that model.
Pacifiers – Do not buy too many of any brand. Try them out. I looked for simple shaped ones and made sure that they will not be too hard. Pacifiers come in sizes for different ages. This is a marketing strategy designed to extract money from over caring parents. There is no real difference between the 0-3 month's pacifier and the 6 months to 12. I say change the pacifier when you notice your baby is no longer comfortable with the previous kind/size, or when teeth come into play.
I have many pacifiers and use each one in a special location in the house or when going out (we have 2 in the house, 2 in the daycare center, 1 in the car and 1 in mommy's bag for emergency and one in Jonathan's going out gear. Others are scattered at friends and relatives). The idea is that I do not need to go bring a pacifier and need not fear losing one on the way; there is always one available for me and Jonathan wherever we are. Also I want to prevent him getting used to a particular pacifier because then all hell could break loose if we ever loose it.
Soap and a sponge and other cleaning items – I personally think babies do not need special items. They can use whatever is in the house. Washing detergents for babies are said to be delicate, but I think today all such materials are in good quality and so I do not separate my son's washing from my own.
Bottle cleaning brush – if you are using the 220ml bottles and larger then you will need it to get to the bottom of the bottle and clean it properly. The special bottle-nipple brush is also helpful. At first, I cleaned every bottle each time it was used with soap and also sterilized it. Now I sterilize the bottles just once a day and between uses I wash them out with water.
Eventually time shortage makes you less of a diligent parent… A friend told me that with his first child he used to sterilize the pacifier every time it dropped to the floor. With the second child he was satisfied in just washing it before returning it to the baby's mouth and with the third blowing away dust and rubbing it against his short was enough…and yet all his children are alive and well.
I have referred to diapers in a previous blog, so I will not repeat what I said then, except to recommend again that you try and collect diaper samples from friends and see which one is best for your baby before purchasing a large amount. Price is a factor in the beginning because babies use up plenty of diapers and new parents tend to change more times than veteran parents.
You do need a baby bed, a pen and coverings for them. Buy just enough to be able to change the sheets and wash the dirty ones. There are special "sheetlets" that you can tie to the bed on top of the regular sheet and then you can change just those when the bed is wet… this will reduce your washing volume ten fold and spare you a lot of hassle as you will not start changing the entire bedding when your baby has a leak in the night (which will happen almost every day). If you can, rent a crib for the first few months – the baby is small and will be snug in a crib (the beds are larger) but then babies outgrow the cribs quickly – so do not purchase one. Cribs also make it easier to put the baby in the parent's room at first – they take less space.
Fabric diapers are useful to clean up after your baby, clean your baby everywhere and as a play item for the baby – I recommend one pack. The printed ones are cute but more expensive and the nice print will wash out quickly – so buy the simple smooth ones.
"Wet ones" tissues are of course a staple in any baby home. You clean up your baby's butt and face with them. Try to find a place where you can get a large amount in discount. You will use it all up! No worries.
Bath thermometer – moms usually get the water just right by using their elbow, but I have been told that daddy's find this a useful tool when preparing a comfortable bath for the little one, my husband will agree. 32 degrees Celsius will do by the way…
Buy your baby his/her own thermometer – after all you measure a baby's temperature anally and it's not fun to share… any normal digital thermometer will do, no need to pay extra for a cute branded one.
Your baby does not really need special towels, but they have these cute ones that have a hood and these are great for drying up your baby's head after a bath, and they are not too costly.
You do not need a blanket for every hour of the day. One for bed and one for going out will do. In fact do not buy a baby blanket – you are very likely to get one as a gift.
"The List" also always contains items for the breast feeding mom (pump, storage bottles, special paste for nipples etc.) I cannot comment because I stopped breast feeding Jonathan when I returned to work and so had no use for all these items. I guess you first need to find out that you like breastfeeding and to decide you will continue this for a while before you purchase these items. In Israel you can hire a pump for 6 months and thus save or postpone another expense.
The list also contains items for going to hospital and for the first days after birth. You will need thick pads because you will bleed a lot in the first few days and the net-like "one time" panties are the invention of the century, because they are great to hold the pads and easy to wash (or actually are intended for one time use only) so definitely get those. You do not need to take your whole house with you to the hospital and you would be better off using the hospital gear (and getting their stuff dirty with blood…ha ha) unless you feel really uncomfortable doing so. Do not forget to take the little things that make you comfortable (like lip balsam, slippers and a bottle of water) and take a camera and some socks (your feet could get cold in the birth room).
Take one set of clothes for the baby for the day you leave the hospital and arrange to have a car seat if you intend to drive away from the hospital. Of course do not forget all the documents you need (like ID and medical info). Small change coins comes in handy for waiting husbands - to use in the vending machines, so start collecting coins at home in the ninth month so you can accumulate enough change.
Good luck!
