Cute Speech Mistakes

Better Late than never! I started collecting this s year ago. Jonathan is by  now a strapping youth of 5 years!

Jonathan's special vocabulary

at almost four year of age, Jonathan is inventing new forms and you words, as is typical of children his age. Working with two languages is proving a challenge and his tendency to swallow words is not helping, the result, however, can be interesting. I tried to document the best.

pippopotam (instead of hippopotam) = hippopotamus

jrefy = tom and jerry

asati (instead of asiti) = I made/ I did

shatati (instead of shatiti) = I drank

[caused by the basic form of first past tense in Hebrew]

tiftoach (instead of tiftach/tiftechi)= (you) open (something) - [caused by the infinitive form of Liftoach]

ventich (instead of sandwitch)

Legamer (insteadof ligmor)=  finish

Ani Mizaher (instead of ani nizhar) = I am being careful

Ani micanes (instead of ani nichnas)=I am coming in/entering

hasfaka (instaed of hafsaka)=pause/break, masfik instead of maspik (enough) or mafsik (stop)

lehasfik m(instead of  lahfsik) =to stop

feifeifiya – instrad of yefeifiya (beautiful female)

podcorn – instead of popcorn

clay mobile – instead of Playmobile (Kelim means tools in Hebrew, I wonder if this is just a phonetic mistake or a logic mistake)

I have a sensible idea…”Yesh Li Raayon Hegyoni” – his opening sentence for special requests or a starting point for negotiating his wishes

Aval Ima! But mommy – his opening statement when explaining or negotiating (usually after I said no to somthing)

in German all gets the addition of “ein” - even though verbs are not supposed to  get it this prefix at all:

Ein-tanzen=to dance

Ein-trinken = to drink

Ein-knoepfen= to press (a button) – this one is an entirely new creation based on the noun Knopf (button in German) and refers to using a vending machine to buy a drink or a snack.

Ein kitzel = to tickle

kikminchen = kikaninchen (kika +kaninchen)

ich hab dich lieb- gam du – interesting sentence structure and mixing a bit of Hebrew in too (gam=also)

fe-fau-de: instead of de-fau-de – DVD in german

birthsteg – a mix between the English birthday and the german geburtstag…

When Jonathan is not able to use words, he still knows how to help himself to communication. In our recent summer holiday in Germany, visiting family and friends, when facing the need to request a pair of scissors in German and not knowing the word, after he expressed the wish in Hebrew once and saw no reaction from a German speaking friend, he pulled on the friend's sleeve and with his hand showed her the action of cutting (using two fingers in a V shape and opening and closing them, like scissors).

He likes to do pantomime on a daily basis even at home. Making sucking sounds and demonstrating drinking in order to ask that I assist him in making a drink (June 2012).

Getting Older

At the advanced age of 5, Jonathan is finally coming to grips with the concept of death and old age. He is sad that one day I will be old and die, and leave him behind…I admit, this saddens me too.

Jonathan is already 5 years old! About a year ago we saw a carcass of a dead hedgehog and a boy 6 months older than Jonathan (who has older siblings) pointed out that the animal was dead. This important information just went by Jonathan’s little head and did not really click. He was just too busy running around the playground to notice the deeper meaning. But then, he was only a 4 year old. I wondered then, how would I explain death to him at all – how is a 4 or 5 year old to grasp the concept of death?

Jonathan watches “SpongeBob” on the Internet, in this series there is a character of a sailor’s ghost called “The flying Dutchman”. This ghost is the cause for Jonathan’s first attempt to come to grips with death. I explained that the Dutchman was a ghost, which means his soul is no longer in his body because he is dead…I am not sure if that is really the way things work (I guess I will find out when I die) but I just could not come up with a more creative explanation, so I opted for the popular one…

During last year, a child in Jonathan’s kindergarten lost his mother to cancer. A very sad story, which certainly helped mature the little boy a bit. Just yesterday, during Jonathan’s birthday party, this boy wished Jonathan good health and that he “may not go n the path of the dead”. I am certain most of the children in the room, including Jonathan had no idea what the boy was talking about…

A discussion of this boy one evening, just before I was due to fly on a business trip, lead to the explanation that dying young of cancer (or any other disease) is rare and that I intend to grow old and be with Jonathan for a long time yet. I explained a bitterly crying boy that we still have a long long long long time together. This connected to the fact that the business trip will only be a few days and that I promised to return – I am not sure what the connecting thread here is, except the act of parting, but for Jonathan this was all inter-connected. He held the thought until my return from the trip, when again, he expressed his sadness at the idea that his grandparents and one day also his parents (especially mommy) will one day die and (if all goes naturally) leave him behind.

I admit this thought saddened me too. I will be 40 this year. I must come to terms with the fact that about half of my life is behind me…I truly hope that I will die old and have the chance to see Jonathan and my other daughter fulfill their destinies as grown people, with lots of grand-kids so that I may once again have the chance of pondering death with a 5 year old…

Cute things Jonathan did recently

We brought an electronic appliance and those come with cartons. This particular carton was just the right for Jonathan, so he adopted it. He was so happy with it, he wanted to have dinner in it, I refused to allow this. Jonathan must eat at the table. He still ha s a low table suited for his height to eat his dinner, even though he is slowly growing too big for it. At the end, he sat on the box, at the table and ate is dinner. For my birthday, Jonathan gave me a present, a horn – like the ones used in football fields. He loved the sound and thought I would be happy to receive the gift.

One other day Jonathan found a business card with a drawing of a pair of lips in the street…you can easily imagine what the card was advertizing, but the graphics was really nice and Jonathan liked it because the lips reminded him of a kiss. So he gave it to me as a gift informing me that “mommy, I brought you a kiss!”

Jonathan is a fan of the touch game “Angry birds”. The principle of the game is using a sling to shoot birds at various objects, depends on the version you have. Besides the application on the smart phone, Jonathan is also the proud owner of a fur Angry Bird puppet that makes laughing sounds, like in the game. One day when we were visiting friends, I found a ball shaped like an angry bird. I spend the next half hour throwing the ball at Jonathan imitating the concept of the electronic game, Jonathan had a ball trying to catch the ball bird and we had a lot of laughs. Compelled to create other versions of the game, a few days later Jonathan took a shoe lace and wrapped it around his waist, then propelled himself forward, the lace serving as a sling and Jonathan being the angry bird. The result was not anger, just a lot of laughter.

Jonathan is coping with a new baby sister (who is already six months old). He loves her and usually is very kind to her, getting the most laughs from her. He also has to try out all her things! He is once again showing an interest in various baby games, especially the beeping or music playing ones. He loves them as a toddler and now he plays with them for his own amusement and that of his little sister. Taking a bath in her little baby tub was also obligatory. One morning my husband was giving me the morning off. So he and Jonathan made breakfast by themselves. They made pancakes and then painted faces on them with chocolate syrup and candy. I was served a very cute breakfast.

Jonathan the language expert.

Growing up with two languages is complicated. Growing up with two languages that are very different from each other, like Hebrew and German, which also have gender differences in words, is doubly more complicated. And even so, Jonathan is slowly getting the hang of it, and he can even read… My husband makes gender mistakes in Hebrew and one day he got scolded by Jonathan, who protested that he is not a girl! “What do you think I am, daddy, a girl?” and yet he tends to use the female format himself…I am sure one ay Jonathan will also be correcting the gender mistakes I make in German, but we are not there yet…

He is just getting the hang of putting words together into sentences in German, but as time passes he becomes more sue of himself. When his German grandmother came to visit, he was fully capable of informing her that he was not yet tired, when she told him it’s time for bed. Recently he went to get his father’s assistance and informed him that his little baby sister is crying and daddy should come now please. All in perfect German, with correct grammatical structure. Other times he uses German words but in the Hebrew order of a sentence, which is the other way around…something like “I no want”.

 Another manifest of his understanding of language is that he not only recognizes all the letters in Hebrew, he is able to read all the names of the children in his kindergarten group. He is also learning to recognize the Latin alphabet with the help of a free app in my new touch cell phone…ah the marvels of technology. It is needless to say that Jonathan is slowly improving his skills on the home PC and playing computer games in now a major pastime. He loves to share his excitement in the game and have me watch him play. Boys and their toys…if at the age of 4.5 years the boy already has access to a computer and a touch cell phone, the ipad cannot be far off and the TV console too…if the ipad did not cost the half of the average Israeli salary, Jonathan would probably be the proud owner of one, just like some of his friends…

Analytical skills, disciplinary challenges and medical impossibilities

Jonathan is going through a hard time; he is after all 4.5 and has a new baby sister! This is the reason why he is stretching the limits of his parents’ nerves! His ability to resist what he is being told to do is becoming more elaborated as he gets older and his speech abilities improve, the results can be surprising. Despite the rather stressed situation we are all in, getting used to the expansion of our family, there is always room for sweet gestures and a little love.

Jonathan is probably very good with numbers, the psychologist who works in his kindergarten (standard service in Israel) says he is very smart, even a bit higher than average for his age, and he shows a string affinity to numbers. I always knew he likes numbers, he likes to count, shows and recognizes the digits, wants to know what number is each house we pass in the street is etc.

Recently, however, he is showing a more abstract understanding of amounts. We were watching the television together, when a commercial for children cereal was running. This particular advert was for a chocolate flavor type. The over sweet breakfast is presented as full of vitamins and tasty health for kids, offering simplicity and relaxation for parents. Jonathan, who loves TV commercials and loves the colorful products shown in them even more, was immediately enthusiastic and he pointed at the cereal and screams “I love this!” in delight. I took the role of educational mom and explained to him that this cereal contains way too much sugar and chocolate, thus unhealthy. The boy’s simple solution to my plight was stated directly, “then all we need to do is serve just a bit” said he. One must agree that smaller portions do indeed reduce the amount of sugars, no?

Jonathan decided to bring me a gift. He found a pink business card in the street with lovely red lips graphics on it. He picked it up and told his father that he is bringing mommy a kiss! Once he got home, he delivered the card to me with delight and prided himself on bringing me a kiss that he found for me a sweet gesture indeed, my heart melted accordingly. What made it more memorable is that the card contained an advert for escorting services…thank G_d the boy still does not read…and the graphics was really lovely, the card was well designed, and I am keeping it, so I can show it to Jonathan and tell him the story when he is older and more understanding of the world.

Jonathan just does not want to do anything he should do! He does not want to get up in the morning (understandable, its so warm in the bed covers…) He does not want to get dressed, brush his teeth, go to kindergarten…and in the evening it’s the same for taking a bath or even going out to the garden. Anything that interferes with his know discovery of the computer (cool games and you can also watch children’s videos…) is rejected! Jonathan’s parents are being bothersome and order him around – after all one must take care of daily rituals like eating and hygiene, and so the computer must wait…

The result of the fact that I must compete with the computer for Jonathan’s attention is that he screams and wails every time I ask him to do things. He drags himself on the floor and complains of pains in his stomach. Then he says he cannot stand. To add some effect to his performance he begins to make choking sounds and sticks his tongue out. Recently he added a medical impossibility to his arsenal – he complains that his legs are broken and his head is broken, then he forgets himself and minute later he is standing up, happy as can be…I told him I had no idea one can walk on broken legs, and with a broken head. The negotiations between us have a few varieties; one of his methods is to let me know that I should do whatever it is he should be doing (you pick up the toys mommy, you bring the clothes, you turn off the TV), this tactic usually results in my declaration that we should do it together, and then he will maybe put away two toys and I will parallel be stowing an entire drawer full...

Another version is an exchange – if he picks up the toys he can then have a chocolate. Recently my demand from his is that he simply behaves himself for his bonuses. The screams and ranting is getting worse. Although we have a start table for good behavior like all the trainers and super nannies say we must have, it is not always as effective as a bribe in the shape of a chocolate. Like I said, the boy has an improving understanding of numbers, calculating his chances for earning a chocolate bar in exchange for not over stretching my nerves, is becoming a refined skill.

Sick together

I have a nasty cold and its the second time in less than two months. Jonathan has cold too, but somehow he remains agile, while I can hardly stand... the only excuse I have is that by now I am nine months pregnant.

Jonathan's mommy is sick with a nasty cold. The first result of my staying home I that Jonathan comes in late to kindergarten. Without my getting up and pushing things, the boy can sleep the morning though! (except on Fridays and Saturdays – the only days that I am not working and hence can sleep late. Jonathan needs t be pulled out of bed the entire working week, but on Friday and Saturday he gets up at 7.00! and for us – and him – that is just too early...). We are not a family of morning people and in winter time we all have an even harder time getting out of the warm covers. Still my husband and son beat me cold in this contest and I am always the first one to get up – except now I am sick, so I just do not.

The second result is that Jonathan, at 4 years of age, is showing true concern for my well being. He came into my room this morning and insisted that I share his chocolate pudding breakfast. He also said he wants to cuddle with me and that we are sick together! This is not the first time he is showing such concern. When he first registered that |I am pregnant and will have to give birth in the hospital (that is how things are done in Israel...) he asked me more than one time on the phone if mommy needs to go to hospital now. Now that the birth is getting near, I am preparing him once more for the fact that I must go away to give birth, but so far he has not demonstrated the same concern but is rather interested in the baby I will bring home with me when I return.

The third result of my staying home sick is that Jonathan wants to stay home to. He maintains that he is truly sick too and has pain in his stomach (a standard complaint of the average Israeli child who want to duck duties...). He groans and hold his stomach as he repeats the complaint and then he coughs for more effect. It is amazing how early they learn these little manipulations, its just a shame for Jonathan that I read right through him and he is obliged to go to kindergarten just the same.

The fourth result on my being sick and croaking like a toad is that I now definitely know that my son has a sense of humor. He joined me in my room this morning for the ritual morning cuddle and then began to “croak” himself. With a squeaky voice he announced that “I am speaking like a worm” imitating my hoarse voice. We both has a good laugh – turns out laughing is really good for you and it opens a blocked nose... who knew...

Eating complexes and sharing

Like any 4 year old, Jonathan is getting more and more picky about his food. If he were not growing and vital we would actually be concerned, but turns out you can really live on chocolate... sharing his food and other possessions is another format of avoiding having to eat it all himself.

We are now in the phase in which we try, rather unsuccessfully, to give Jonathan good eating principles that will hopefully sustain him as a healthy human being for the rest of his life. Parallel to his learning all about different foods and their components in kindergarten (yes! They learn about Carbohydrates and Proteins, vegetables, fruit, meat, and water...the whole nutrition pyramid is displayed on the kindergarten calls wall) we try to make him see the difference between food and desert. By now he has learned the mantra and he chants just like mommy “first we eat food and then desert”. He just interprets this mantra differently. While I refer to it in every meal, as far and Jonathan is concerned, it counts for the entire day. Thus, to his logic, if he ate his chicken and pasta in Kindergarten for lunch, then it time for chocolate in the evening at home – after all lunch comes before supper and he ate food for lunch, so supper can consist of desert! I thus get a full report of what he has eaten all day (he spends 8 hours a say in day care) and then expects to receive his due desert.

We have lively discussions what is considered food and what desert. For Jonathan chocolate pudding with cream that comes in a plastic cup form the supermarket is a yogurt, and so it belongs to the category of food, as does a chocolate spread sandwich and various fruit. In fact the only form of chocolate he accepts as desert in chocolate tablets. He also differs between a snack (waffle, potato chips, chocolate bar etc.) and desert. Snacks are in fact food for him. In every management training session I have been through, the coach hammers into our brains that listening is not only hearing but interpreting the words. What people interpret is what they understand and how they conceive the world around them – so the professional say. I say, kids are the best business coaches! They do indeed conceive the world in their own light and are ruthless to compromise about such conceptions. They run a hard bargain and negotiate their position in the household anew every minute of the day. Being a parent is a continuous exercise in crisis management.

Food is a great theme with Jonathan. Like a good Israeli he knows by now that life is all about food. Jewish holidays are celebrated according to the rule “they tried to kill us, they failed, lets eat!” Jonathan knows that when you have guests you are supposed to feed them!. In preparation for his birthday party (family was invited) he set out plates and cups in advance and would have poured out juice and distributed cookies to every guest that had not yet arrived if I had not stopped him. It was truly hard to convince him to wait until the guests were actually present to enjoy his treats.
Whenever he talks about inviting a friend over, he also talks about the treats he will distribute among his guests and sometimes he starts to put out plates and cups “for the children” who are to come sometime in the near future.

His tendency to feed people does not however remain only as a fantasy. Whenever my parents come to visit, Jonathan immediately invites them to partake in his most favorite drink – peach syrup with water. He runs to the kitchen to get cups and the syrup and is ready to oblige his guests on a moment's notice. It is entirely irrelevant to him that my father is not permitted to drink the stuff and that my mother does not really like it. He reasons that “it is very sweet” and therefore very tasty, so all must try it. Any visitors are happily “adopted” and fed. He offers friends of his father his favorite chocolate pudding and insists on sharing his pancakes with present guests.

His food sharing is not limited however to friends and visitors only. He also expressed his concern for the baby (I am pregnant) recently by forcing me to eat a cookie. My protests were in vain! Jonathan reasoned that the baby needs to eat the cookie, not mommy, and so I was left with no choice but to eat it, as Jonathan was also literally shoving it down my throat and refusing to take no for an answer.

Jonathan does not only wan to to share his food. He wants to give gifts to all. He has written “letters” for the children in his kindergarten (scribbling letter like shapes onto a paper, folding it and then covering ti with sticky tape so the “letter” does not open up), he gives away DVD's to visitors and insists on giving away little toys and trinkets. He does not however seem to understand that once he has given something as a gift it no longer returns to his possession. My efforts to explain this included hiding some DVD's he allegedly gave away, but even this did not help. As long as the DVD was not in its usual place, Jonathan simply was not looking for it (absence makes the heart forgetful...)

Jonathan also likes to share his bath, especially with mommy. He has recently argued that the baby likes the water and that is why mommy should climb into the bath tub with him. Declaring to me that he remembers that the net is not to be taken out, so that mommy's hair will not go into the sewage and block it, was used to further tempt me to accept his invitation to hare his bath. Spurs of kindness and concern for the well being of others are demonstrated also on other occasions. He can lecture to my friends when we meet them at the mall that its is really nice to come by to his home and play with his toys there, and that they really should come by. He can give a sermon about the fact that orange juice is healthy for you and he also covered his grandma with a warm blanket when she dosed off on the sofa in the TV room, while trying to provide Jonathan with some company while mommy was trying to rest.

Jonathan is really big on company! He does not like being alone in various rooms in the house and would have me ideally follow him around all day. He likes it when people come to visit and has no problem sharing toys and food with visiting adults. With children its more difficult, then he gets more possessive. While he loves to invite friends or to visit them, in practice they still play next to each other rather than with each other. He grumbles and whines when they touch his toys and does not like to take turns even though he knows he must. Then out of the blue he goes back to sharing mode – bringing treats to the visiting child and his parents, giving them all his “letter” gifts, crying when they say its time to leave and go home and not calming down even when they promise to come again soon. One TV show later and the scene is but forgotten. Absence does make the heart forgetful and TV is indeed the modern babysitter and child calming mechanism of our times!