Jonathan’s show of independence and headstrong will continue. I suppose the phrase “me alone” or “only me” are one of the most familiar to mothers of 3 year olds. In everything he does, he wishes to do it by himself. And the scope of tasks he wishes to take care of independently only grows.
The newest task he wants to conduct independently is getting dressed. It is of vital importance that he chooses the color of his underwear (I wonder why, they are hardly seen…) and then he tries to put them and his pants on. The underwear is a task he is slowly mastering, but the trousers are harder and it usually ends in a wail for help from “mama!”He likes to determine if he needs to go out with sunglasses and baseball cap, or rather a coat. He wants to decide if to wear a pullover or not and he protests if my decision is contrast to his.
Hi likes to maneuver me into walking in a certain way or into a game of catch or football. And ordering people around is no new trait – just his scope of understanding and of orders given has increased with age. Although standing up to him becomes more difficult, it also becomes more necessary in order to allow for his growing independence (and with it freedom of some extent) without allowing him to develop into a spoiled monster who deals only in tantrums. We are really lucky that he is really a sweet natured and good little boy. The battles are carefully chosen and the rules are being constantly tested and set.
Jonathan wants to put his own food into a plate; he wants to serve his own dinner. He wants to choose his own food and then go get it. Climbing the kitchen counter in order to reach the serial on the top of the fridge is no deterrent. Raiding the fridge is becoming routine. He wants to watch “grown up” DVD and likes best to “raid” his daddy’s collection of M.A.S.H and Simpson DVD’s while standing on a high chair. Talking on the phone is also something he likes and does well. He is fetched from day care center everyday by his father and then they call me at work and Jonathan tells me about his day.
Yesterday he displayed just how far his independence and knowledge of his world goes. Jonathan wanted to make himself sweetened juice. In the process of pouring the syrup (while he was standing on a chair in the kitchen and his bottle was standing on the counter) it spilled on the floor. The boy lost no time in cleaning up the mess. He took the kitchen cloth, opened the tap to dampen it and started scrubbing the floor with the wet fabric. He repeated this process and was soon in the process of playfully cleaning the kitchen, repeatedly wetting the rag, but also his own shirt sleeves in the process. In his enthusiasm, he would have moved on to the living room, but at that stage I stopped the game and mopped the kitchen floor with a dry cloth for the last time myself.
There is no moderation in his action. Whatever he does, he does from the heart! Weather is it waking me up on a Saturday morning with repeated calls of “mommy get up the sum is shining” or insisting I sit by him and watch TV with him, actually pulling me down to a sitting position. If he prepares a plate of serial for himself (he likes it net, not milk or liquid) then he will make 3 plates. One chocolate bar is near enough – he wants two and one waffle or cookie is not satisfying, he needs at least three – even if he will not eat them at all. He knows numbers and he understands counting and adding as a concept. (Calling out numbers to me when we drive past houses and being so cute while confusing 27 and 72 or calling al double digit numbers “twelve”). He is always negotiating the number of items he is to get. In every new action, he re-negotiates his position and shows an incredible obstinacy to getting his own way.
He is honing his skills too. As I type this words I hear movement in the kitchen (again), so I stand up to see what he is up to. Jonathan is sitting on the counter in the process of pouring himself some apple syrup into two bottles (one is never enough). He knows he is not allowed on the counter but it is more comfortable for him. Still upon my entrance he climbs back down to the chair and continues his task. He takes the bottles with syrup and fills them with tap water and then soda water. He just made himself 2 portions (of course one is not enough) of a classic German apple juice drink = home made “Apfel Sprudel” a la Jonathan...
