Jonathan seems to stretch his arms in a request to be picked up
Its more than just a happy reaction when he sees someone he knows (or in fact anyone approaching his pen) he clearly stretches his arms open and it would seem that he is making a request to be picked up in one's arms. My mother has seen it more than once and has dubbed the occurrence as a clear sign of developing communication. I have seen it once and have suspected it to be indeed a communication effort on Jonathan's part. Now with my mother's observations I can clearly state it is so.
Jonathan used his legs to get to a toy
It is a great pity that this great moment took place at 5 o'clock in the morning and I was too tired to be truly happy about it. Jonathan decided to wake up extra early this morning and as he was only reasonably quiet while being busy, I gave him a toy fur rabbit to play with (we are spending the weekend at my parents' so I can get some rest...so five o'clock in the morning noise is not appreciated naturally). Jonathan started playing with the rabbit and at one time the toy rolled away from him. He started reaching for it with his hands and when this proved unfruitful he kicked the toy with his foot to get it nearer to his hand so he could start grabbing at it again...so cute...
In general Jonathan is a very achieving boy – any mother would like to be able to say that her son is talented and ambitious; I can say it at this early stage when I view him at play (he is just 5 months old). Moving about by rolling is now common practice for him. You can see that his actions are targeted. If he wants a toy that is not within his reach he will roll and kick about to get to it. He tends to get stuck in the corners of his pen, with his feet sticking out due to efforts to reach an unknown spot in the universe. He also gets stuck in the arches of his play matt in his effort to reach beyond its edges. The boy is a true explorer!
(In Israel play mattes with arches onto which toys are hanging are very popular and they are called "universities" because these contraptions are supposed to assist in the cognitive development of the baby.)
When he is stuck he calls for assistance, and as soon as he is released his quest begins anew and he rolls and kicks and raises his butt (all means are legitimate to get to a target…) until he gets stuck again/ reaches his object / or is just plain too tired/ bored to continue. Sometimes the quest is broken because mommy want to give Jonathan a bath… such triviality to a true scientist's mind…no matter, the quest will be renewed again at some point in the near future when Jonathan is once again left to his own devices…
Monday, April 28, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Apologies
First, I apologize for blogging late this week, but I took the weekend off! Literaly by resting 3 days at my parents' and enjoying the simple fact that someone else could take care of Jonathan at 7:00 AM and I could sleep some more...
And now, here is the weekly blog...
And now, here is the weekly blog...
The Kibbutz Child – Being Raised by Others
Better late than never...
Working parents actually have children so that others can raise them. This is a sad statistic in our lives – we see very little of our children because we spend most of the day at work.
The fact is that I see my son about 2.5 hours a day. 1/2 an hour in the morning, which consists of breakfast and getting ready to leave the house for the daycare center/work, and 2 hours in the afternoon which consist of 1 hour play, if he is not too tired (if he is tired he will probably sleep at least 30 minutes) and 1 hour of bath, food and getting ready for bed (I have no idea how we will fit in solid meals that take more time than a fast bedtime bottle...).
My husband has it even worse! He sees Jonathan perhaps one hour a day in the week, and that also only if he gets up extra early for this purpose. By the time my husband returns from work, the boy is already fast asleep. I think most fathers get the poor end of the stick in the evenings. Their only comfort is that as kids get bigger they sleep less…
Yes, yes – some silly statistic freak will tell me that as Jonathan spends the night at home, he does in fact spend most of his time at home – so we need not complain. And yet, we spend most of the night sleeping…and Jonathan sleeps from 19:00 to 07:00 the next day, getting up only for feeding in the night, and even then he is still half asleep (as am I, when I get up to feed him at 3 o'clock in the morning). In contrast to all this, the ladies at the day care center get to spend 8 hours a day with my son in which he is mostly awake!
You might wonder why I am referring in the title to a kibbutz. The answer is simple; traditionally the children who grew up in the kibbutz grew up in a children's home within the kibbutz with their piers. The child was taken to join his age group in the children's home at a very young age, as a toddler still, and the child lived in the children's home – there was his/her bed! (Breastfeeding was not such a high fashion, like it is today, but then again – people in Israel back then were busy building a country and working the fields…) Thus groups of children the same age treated each other as siblings even if they are not. The child hence spent a lot more time with care takers and friends than it did in its core family – and so we come to the point!
This was all part of the idealism behind the kibbutz – to share everything and create a new kind of society in which all members are one big happy family. Today, in the few remaining kibbutzim this is no longer the case and children grow up at home and go to kindergarten just like in the city. But I have friends who grew up this way still (in the 70's).
A week ago, as I dropped Jonathan at the day care center, I went to change his blanket to a thinner one suited more for spring, as the days are getting hotter here at this time of year. As a result of this action, the lady who runs the daycare center and I both left the room where all the toddlers were, to the room where the children sleep. We also reentered the main room together, both calling to Jonathan. The boy was happily situated on the carpet and looking up he fixed himself on the day care manager, smiling to her in greeting and ignoring me next to her, as if I was thin air! Although I cannot tell that Jonathan really meant to ignore me, he is after all only 4 months old, it still broke my heart! And I spend the rest of the day at work complaining bitterly that the day care center staff gets to see more of my son than I do and that dammit! I am the one who carried him around for 9 months, and have the stretch marks and the scar to prove it too! And there is gratitude for you…!
Luckily two days later when I came in to get him from the daycare center an the end of the day, he was sitting on the lap of one of the day care ladies nice and quiet, but as soon as I came in it was obvious that he was happy to see me – he started squirming in her arms and smiling and his whole body was a clear indication of his happiness in my presence and his impatience to get to my arms! Well, there is right and wrong in the world after all…my heart melted with pure satisfaction at this obvious preference, even if tomorrow he might again, momentarily that is, prefer the day care manager…
The truth is that the parent's time as the premier object of their children's admiration is very short. My sister already complains that her 4 year old daughter no longer likes being hugged and kissed that much. My guess is that the hug makes the child feel constraint. We all know that teenagers do not think getting kisses from their parents at all cool, and that today one might even be considered a teenager when one is 8 years old. Puberty comes earlier and earlier… For a teenager the average parent is a human shaped purse and driver. My son is only 4 months old and still very much dependant on my love and welcomes my hugs and kisses with big smiles and laughs! Ahh, I cherish every moment of contact with him, as I know it won't last too long… Now I am waiting impatiently that he will be old enough to really kiss me back!
Working parents actually have children so that others can raise them. This is a sad statistic in our lives – we see very little of our children because we spend most of the day at work.
The fact is that I see my son about 2.5 hours a day. 1/2 an hour in the morning, which consists of breakfast and getting ready to leave the house for the daycare center/work, and 2 hours in the afternoon which consist of 1 hour play, if he is not too tired (if he is tired he will probably sleep at least 30 minutes) and 1 hour of bath, food and getting ready for bed (I have no idea how we will fit in solid meals that take more time than a fast bedtime bottle...).
My husband has it even worse! He sees Jonathan perhaps one hour a day in the week, and that also only if he gets up extra early for this purpose. By the time my husband returns from work, the boy is already fast asleep. I think most fathers get the poor end of the stick in the evenings. Their only comfort is that as kids get bigger they sleep less…
Yes, yes – some silly statistic freak will tell me that as Jonathan spends the night at home, he does in fact spend most of his time at home – so we need not complain. And yet, we spend most of the night sleeping…and Jonathan sleeps from 19:00 to 07:00 the next day, getting up only for feeding in the night, and even then he is still half asleep (as am I, when I get up to feed him at 3 o'clock in the morning). In contrast to all this, the ladies at the day care center get to spend 8 hours a day with my son in which he is mostly awake!
You might wonder why I am referring in the title to a kibbutz. The answer is simple; traditionally the children who grew up in the kibbutz grew up in a children's home within the kibbutz with their piers. The child was taken to join his age group in the children's home at a very young age, as a toddler still, and the child lived in the children's home – there was his/her bed! (Breastfeeding was not such a high fashion, like it is today, but then again – people in Israel back then were busy building a country and working the fields…) Thus groups of children the same age treated each other as siblings even if they are not. The child hence spent a lot more time with care takers and friends than it did in its core family – and so we come to the point!
This was all part of the idealism behind the kibbutz – to share everything and create a new kind of society in which all members are one big happy family. Today, in the few remaining kibbutzim this is no longer the case and children grow up at home and go to kindergarten just like in the city. But I have friends who grew up this way still (in the 70's).
A week ago, as I dropped Jonathan at the day care center, I went to change his blanket to a thinner one suited more for spring, as the days are getting hotter here at this time of year. As a result of this action, the lady who runs the daycare center and I both left the room where all the toddlers were, to the room where the children sleep. We also reentered the main room together, both calling to Jonathan. The boy was happily situated on the carpet and looking up he fixed himself on the day care manager, smiling to her in greeting and ignoring me next to her, as if I was thin air! Although I cannot tell that Jonathan really meant to ignore me, he is after all only 4 months old, it still broke my heart! And I spend the rest of the day at work complaining bitterly that the day care center staff gets to see more of my son than I do and that dammit! I am the one who carried him around for 9 months, and have the stretch marks and the scar to prove it too! And there is gratitude for you…!
Luckily two days later when I came in to get him from the daycare center an the end of the day, he was sitting on the lap of one of the day care ladies nice and quiet, but as soon as I came in it was obvious that he was happy to see me – he started squirming in her arms and smiling and his whole body was a clear indication of his happiness in my presence and his impatience to get to my arms! Well, there is right and wrong in the world after all…my heart melted with pure satisfaction at this obvious preference, even if tomorrow he might again, momentarily that is, prefer the day care manager…
The truth is that the parent's time as the premier object of their children's admiration is very short. My sister already complains that her 4 year old daughter no longer likes being hugged and kissed that much. My guess is that the hug makes the child feel constraint. We all know that teenagers do not think getting kisses from their parents at all cool, and that today one might even be considered a teenager when one is 8 years old. Puberty comes earlier and earlier… For a teenager the average parent is a human shaped purse and driver. My son is only 4 months old and still very much dependant on my love and welcomes my hugs and kisses with big smiles and laughs! Ahh, I cherish every moment of contact with him, as I know it won't last too long… Now I am waiting impatiently that he will be old enough to really kiss me back!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
April 18 – Jonathan Can also Return his Pacifier to his Mouth in the Right Direction
Jonathan has been half holding his bottle and taking out his pacifier by himself for some weeks now, but he could never quite put the pacifier back right, until now! Ironically he always spits it out or removes it with his hands and then frantically searches for it. Until now this is where he would require help and would wail loudly in order to get it, if no one was nearby.
Yesterday evening, while we were all celebrating the Passover with family, I noticed he removed his pacifier and then put is back into his mouth correctly. One would think that at this stage he would resume his sucking, but no! He removed it again and chewed it a bit before once again returning it to his mouth in the right direction. Only after this second round was he satisfied and resumed sucking for a while.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Two in One
A proud mom moment!
April 18, 2008 – Entertaining two babies at once.
Yesterday, I went to meet a friend who has a baby who is one month older than Jonathan.
The little one is a cutie and as active and curious as Jonathan is.
At one moment I found myself holding onto my friend's baby and sitting him on may lap or flying him about in my arms while all along also laughing and making faces at Jonathan who was in his stroller nearby. Both the little treasures were evidently happy and enjoying themselves. Jonathan was in fact laughing to his heart's content – the loudest laugh I have got from him so far.
My friend was also quite pleased, enjoying her freedom to munch on a salad and chat while little baby was being kept busy by me.
Having entertained two about 5 months old babies all at once I am very proud of myself and though this an ample opportunity to document and to boast to all my faithful blog readers :-).
Friday, April 18, 2008
Maternity Leave Trauma
Having a baby totally changes your life. In my case it went upside down! From an active working woman who spent late hours at work, I became a "house potato" (as in couch potato) stuck in the house with as little infant 24 hours a day.
Every thing is around the baby! What does he eat, how does he sleep (how does his mommy sleep…or not...) is he filling enough diapers? Why is he crying? Is he hungry? Does his tummy ache, does he have gas? Or maybe he just wants your company. If you want to go anywhere, you need to find a solution for the baby (so who can we "screw up" into baby sitting this time? Definitely do not have a baby if you do not have some help potential). If you have any intelligent conversation with an adult at all it is usually about the baby – the new experience and your new role in life as a mother fills you up! You are concerned with it 100% and always. And yet, despite all the happiness and newness, it is boring!!!
All alone in a house with a baby who does little else but eat, cry and sleep (not to mention the diapers…) can drive an active female adult crazy! Maternity Leave can be a very lonely experience.
Before I had my baby boy, I thought the hardest part in the beginning will be the lack of sleep. However, it was not, as during maternity leave I could catch up on my sleep in the middle of the day when Jonathan took a nap. The hardest part is that you are all alone! Jonathan was also born in winter so we could not go out so much. Also I was after a cesarean cut so carrying the stroller downstairs was out of the question for the first month. As a result of these two factors we went out even less and the "stuck at home" experience was even worse than your normal new mother.
My solution was to ask everyone I know to do their best to come and visit me during the day (most people work, so they could not come but I do have some friends and family who managed to fit me into their busy days anyway). This way I could always hand over the baby to someone else (like his grandma, who did her best to come at least once a week to visit – after all she lives two hours away and in Israel that's pretty far) and relax a bit from the routine of caring for him, or just enjoy some conversation with an adult (doing my best not to talk about Jonathan). In his second month I got a new stroller that was easier to handle (my advise, do not try to save anything on a stroller that is comfortable for you, as you will be using it quite a lot in the child's first few years of life! The investment is worth it) and the weather began to get better, so we started going out more and that was great! Suddenly running errands became a fun thing to do – taking Jonathan in the stroller and getting things done while being exposed to people was great for us both, besides the stroller carried all my shopping. (Maternity leave can also be a monetary trauma, as you tend to spend more when you have time to roam. My credit card bills sure got higher when I was on maternity leave.)
In Israel the paid maternity leave period is 14 weeks. Afterwards you have to return to work if you wish to keep getting an income. This is what I have recently done. Now I had to face a new kind of trauma. I had gotten used to having Jonathan around me all the time, and despite the exhausting task of caring for him, I had gotten comfortable and we developed a sort of routine. (We got up at 7:00 and had breakfast, went back to sleep until 8:30 and then got up. Mommy arranged some things around the house and after Jonathan's 10:00 o'clock meal we out to get errands done and get our daily dose of sun. We came back home in time for lunch and then had a nap, mommy slept too. Then we played in the afternoon, got a bath every second day and went to sleep around 20:00. At this time daddy got home and so mom and dad could have a nice and quite evening until 23:00 when Jonathan got up to eat again, and then it was the 3:00 in the morning meal and back to bed till the next morning.) Suddenly, with the prospect of returning to work, Jonathan started attending a daycare center. The first two days he was there just for half a day, so I did not miss him much and got busy on errands when he was away, but then he was away the entire day! And my heart almost broke! (I actually "practiced" parting from him when his dad and I went for a weekend together at the Dead Sea and Jonathan stayed two nights at his Grandma's the weekend before he started going to the day care center – I cried in the car for 10 minutes after we left him behind!)
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say, but also forgetful. As long as he was not there, I got busy and did not miss him. But when I put him at the daycare center in the morning and when I came to pick him up in the afternoon I had a lump in my throat and even cried a little! It was hard to part in the mornings, and in the afternoon came the realization that we had been apart all day. Another issue was the fact that we had very little time together now, a very frustrating experience for any new mom.
We make children so that someone else can raise them for us. My son Jonathan spends more time with his care takers in the baby kindergarten than with his parents! And this will continue his entire childhood (daycare center, kindergarten, school and then they grow up and leave home!) But what can we do, we need to earn a living!
We are now in the process of developing a new routine. As my husband and I are not morning people, the mornings are minimal and we spend them just getting ready for work and preparing Jonathan for the daycare center. He gets his breakfast and a diaper changed and off we go! Sometimes his daddy takes him so that he can see more of him and mommy can get to work earlier. In the afternoon mommy and Jonathan have a bit of time- to be exact we have almost 3 hours, depends at what time he finally falls asleep, dead tired after his long day! I pick him up at 17:00 and he usually needs a short nap and a meal. Then we have about 1 hour to play and then its bath time. Jonathan does not really seem to enjoy the bath. He tolerates it quietly and does not play in the water, so "bath time" is a short and functional process for us. Then we watch a TV show that mom enjoys about food or play a CD/DVD for Jonathan and then it's more or less time for supper and bed. Jonathan still gets up at night, so my sleeping is still cut down to 3 hour ratios. I get groggy at work and have taken to drinking coffee on a regular basis, although I don't like the drink at all. Well, desperate times call for desperate measures, they say, and they are correct!
Fridays are shorter at the day care center and I pick him up at 12:00 (In Israel the weekend is Friday and Saturday and we work Sundays). So then we have more time together (and they say weekends are a time of rest...). This also means he takes his midday nap at home. Actually it is now Friday afternoon and Jonathan is napping. I am using the time to write, but now I will go join him and get a bit of sleep… Sweet dreams…
Friday, April 11, 2008
April 11 - Jonathan is becoming a Thumb Sucker and Can Pull out his Pacifier by Himself
In the last week, Jonathan stayed at home because he was sick and did not go to the day care center. Mommy and daddy were also sick at home for 3 days, so we had some nice family time. My husband anted me to write that he helped me out a lot this week and took care of Jonathan when I was not feeling so well. I am happy to comply with his wish because he was a great help, even though all 3 of us were sick at the beginning of the week. Now, as the week comes to a close both my boys are well again and only mommy is still sick... makes you wonder, and they say mother's day is always hard work for mom to clean up…maybe its like this also with a family sick week…
But I did not want to write about the illness. In the time we were all home, I started seeing that Jonathan was taking a liking to his thumb. He no longer just sucks his hand but he is showing a developing preference for his thumb. As a mom, this is very concerning because one must think now already how in about 4 years one will need to rid the boy of this habit. But on the other hand I have no idea how to stop this tendency. Jonathan has never been consistent with the pacifier. He likes it and it calms him down especially when he is tired - but it's not 100% full proof and not always works. He is however very consistent with his hands, he loves to sick them! In fact human flesh in general, especially mommy's hand, will do as well.
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