Jonthan loves to watch DVD's, picture albums and to read books. He loves cars (and to drive...) and he loves music. He has therefore many achievements related to his best pastimes. Summing up such achievements, which have occurred in the last two months is turning out to be along blog insert...
One day, when visiting a friend, Jonathan pointed to a drawing of Micky Mouse and said “Mouse” our load. Then he pointed to a family portrait and was able to name is friend in it and also to day “dad” indicating that the man in the picture with the other little boy, was his father. This is how we first learned that Jonathan understands the concept of images depicting people. It was however sometime until he started recognizing his own family (mommy and daddy) and himself in pictures. My mother was the first to take a picture off the wall so that Jonathan could point to his daddy. Then one day Jonathan recognized his granddad and that is when I started looking at picture albums with him, usually before his bed time (instead of reading a story – he is still not patient enough to hear one properly, with the exception of two very particular books he practically knows by heart.) By now he is also recognizing both his grandmas and his nephew from my side and a niece from my husbands side.
Jonathan is showing some good memory skills. He remembers the way to his favorite ice shop, even though its winter and it has been some time since we went there. He remember the way to a friend's house – and that he was served a delicious cake there (the following visit he requested cake again from our hostess, just because he knew there would be some.... He remembers to associate a clown song with a certain clown puppet that has been shut up for months. At first I thought he remembered the song from his previous daycare group and I was astounded – its been half a year since he attended the group, in which one of the teachers used such a puppet and sang the song. I have understood however that they also play the song in his current group. Pity, I was enjoying the long memory effect fantasy as a doting mother should do. Still it is always a surprise to witness just how much he learns and remembers.
Not only his memory is impeccable, his speech is improving. Words are spoken more clearly and he is able to mumble through tunes with certain half words and sounds so that I can mostly recognize what song it is he wants me to join him in singing. He is also starting to formulate short sentences such as “where is bear?”, “no juice”, mommy to sit down etc. grammar is not perfect, but he is perfectly understood. Jonathan's language skills are not limited to human languages though, at a visit to an animal “stroking” facility he took up a conversation with a goat! The goat called “baaa” and Jonathan answered her “baaa' and so they exchanged a few more “baaa”s before we had to go. I found this extremely funny because I used to do the same when I was a kid. I especially remember a conversation with a wild goat I ran into on a school excursion when I was 13. I managed to keep up the “baaa” exchange for about 15 minutes and the goat and I eventually had quite a crowd...
Words and sentences are mostly spoken in Hebrew but his German is also improving fast, especially since he started visiting a German play group once a week. The group closed but my husband and the father of another boy still meet regularly with the boys, so the German group lives on and contributed much to Jonathan's vocabulary. The more we associate with boys Jonathan's age, the more we understand that our boy is a strong strapping youngster. Somehow we tend to end up in a relationship with boys who are relatively small and usually a head shorter than Jonathan. I am sure this actually serves to build his self esteem and the other boys however do not seem to be the losers either – they all play together so happily.
It was at a friend that we learned that Jonathan wishes to take up his love for music into an active level. It was at his friend's house that Jonathan first played the harmonica. We then got him a cheep copy but it only made three sounds so he lost interest. Since then, my brother has brought a more advanced harmonica for Jonathan and he enjoys playing it very much (and is grateful to his cool uncle). He is really skilled – he gets both major and minor noted out of the harmonica, blowing air in and out. He also can move the harmonica across his mouth and he gets a whole scale played doing his – like running you finger on a piano. Jonathan also plays the piano on occasion at my parents house, usually in the company of his other uncle – my sisters husband – who is a musician. All he does is pound on the keys, but I did show him how to run his fingers on the piano and he immediately copies my actions.
Playing on a tambourine and on an Arabian drum is also an enjoyable pastime. This however he especially loved to do in my company. To some extent, Jonathan is a performer.
He has taken up to performing at a private puppet theater, using two sponge glove figures that are actually intended for washing up. The sponge gloves are shaped after cows for children's amusement. We never used them for washing, I used them as puppets to Jonathan's delight from an early age. He has now however taken to doing the puppeteering himself. He loved so much that I brought a special Micky mouse glove for him to enjoy. Jonathan not only loves to perform, he loves to boss his crowd while he is at it. In our last visit to my parents Jonathan took to singing, demanding that I join in, and then cuing me when to stop and clapping hands to signal to my parents and husband that the performance was over. He did this repeatedly and we all laughed our heads off. After all, Jonathan was seriously producing his own show! Jonathan chose the song, chose who was to sing it with him, when it should start and when it should end and then the crowd was ordered to clap hands in a timely manner – like in a TV show! The boy has what is takes to be a director! Or perhaps a conductor. He had 4 adults at his finger tips and was enjoying the whole scene immensely! My mother took the opportunity to mention that from all his grandchildren, it is only Jonathan who had managed to order/boss my father around. Jonathan practically ordered his granddad top sit down and enjoy the show (or rather take part in it when clapping was required). We all has a great time!
Wanting adults to share in his games is becoming more often. Ordering adults around is normal to Jonathan – he demands that I share in his activities – rather than asking for my company (and I always tell him to say please, and he does). He invites me regularly to sit and watch a DVD with him (he cuddles while doing so, mommy serving as great recliner too), he loves to match animal cards with me, calling my attention with great enthusiasm to the different animal images and he likes me to chase him when we go out for a walk. He will tell me when to run and when to stop. He liked things organized – having me sit in my usual chair when he goes to bed (if his daddy sits there instead of lying on the bed which is my husband's usual spot – Jonathan will re organize us to our respective places).
But is not all commanding. There is a lot of playful fun. My husband was eventually rewarded for his effort in the last year when one day, as Jonathan came to us in the morning to the “big bed” he played hide and seek in the blanket with his daddy. He also throws a blanket on my face and asks “where is mommy” and then reveals me with sequels of laughter. In the shopping mall, to which we like to go as a family for a simple family outing, this game is continued in the dressing cabinets of shops. Jonathan hides in the cabinet and waits for us to remove the drapes and find him. He loves mirrors too! The fashion shops are a mirror bonanza and Jonathan dances with his figure in the mirror or with the boy who gets reflected from the glass of the near by bank. A set of two mirrors opposite each other, which cause for “hundreds” of Jonathan to appear, seam to scare him off. Two mirrors creating a corner that “cuts” his body from the waist down as he beds to look around it, thus having “two heads” is however an effect he got curious about in a lively manner of bending and checking that was quite heart stopping and delightful to watch.
His motoric skills are as advanced as ever. He practically swims in the bathtub and rolls about. He has not trouble grabbing and stopping himself safe if he slips. Climbing in and out of the tub is also not an issue – but he prefers to be lifted out of the tub by a hugging mommy – I am lucky he has this preference, or I would loose total control of him during a bath – he splashes about and then delights in the fact that he can create rain in the bath! The only thing he loves more, I believe is to pour water into my belly button from a plastic kettle, when I choose to share a bath with him. He loves to shake out all the kitchen playthings into the bath tub – naturally wanting to do so by himself and getting the net that houses the toys all tangle up. Occasionally he will help me take the toys out of the water – but usually he throws them out for me to pick up! Seeing them flying out of the tub is a cause for much glee to Jonathan.
Jumping on one foot is not a problem, neither is drinking from a cup – though he prefers his bottle. In fact he wants to do everything himself and scolds if we do it for him. He must open the front door when we leave and close the gates of all the yards in the neighborhood when we are taking a walk. He likes to pour his own juice into the bottle and put chocolate power in a bottle to make his chocolate drink – he then also diligently wipes away excess power, making a mes in his efforts to clean up his own mess. If he eats and drops his food, he picks it up and if his hands are sticky or there is juice on his chin – he does not like it. He complains but if I am not fats enough in cleaning him, he will wipe whatever is bothering him on his sleeve.
He is actually a tidy boy, bless his heart. He puts his shoes away in their place, he will return pants to their drawer and diapers to their shelves. He will shove puzzle pieces into a box – even if its not the right one...He puts away his play kitchen into any large box he can find – the point being – all must be stowed. He has learned to return a DVD into its box when it is not being used and he usually does that (on occasion however a DVD gets lost, as do cards and other parts of his games, he is after all a 2 year old toddler). Despite all this tidiness, he is just as capable of sending every toy in his possession flying about the house and there can sometimes be no stopping him. Its is mommy and or daddy who will end up tidying the mess. After such scenes searching for parts is an integral part of putting the house back in order. Jonathan does not really tend to help in such searches, but he will imitate such behaviors if chasing a ball around the house. He loves throwing a ball around, even if he is not 100% tuned in on the social value of throwing the ball to another person just yet. Chasing a ball around the house and making sure I follow his performance while doing so is at this stage entertaining enough.
Doing things by himself includes also trying to get dressed alone, especially pulling up his pants. He puts both legs into one pant hole and pulls. Sorting it out is however not easy, because he insists on repeating the mistake because he wants to get dressed by himself. We also negotiate daily on his clothes, because he likes to choose them himself. Sometimes I think his choice is not warm enough and then we have a wailing argument about putting on another shirt. I resort to tricks of preparing two shirts one in the other before putting them on Jonathan at once. He also tries to put his shoes on, but he always does it the wrong way around. I wonder if this is a toddler thing and that the mind is not 100% ripe with right and left, after all the left part of the brain controls the right part of the body and vice versa. Jonathan still operated with both hands playing an active role. He is still stronger with the left had and tends to do more gentle actions (like eating soup from a spoon) with the left hand but the right hand is catching up.
DVD control is a big issue – because Jonathan is practically addicted to the TV, even if he does not watch it, he likes it to play. I think this is left over from the first day care center. He can play with other toys quite contentedly and so we try to limit his daily DVD doses. Since he started climbing the shelves to get to the DVD player, we lowered its position and he now can operate it from a small stool – the DVD;s however remain located in a high place and so far he still asks for them to be brought down and he has not taken to climbing up to get them. He did try it once and I got very angry – lets hope he remembers that for a while... after all the removal of the DVD's themselves from reach is the only control method I have left (except unplugging the player, but do not tell Jonathan that...or he will swiftly learn to plug it back – cables were never problem – Jonathan changing cables in the TV has already led us to getting our TV set repaired).
Solo action also include raiding the fridge by himself. He is powerful enough to open the door and he knows where is food comes from... I accordingly located his favorite yogurts and fruit on the bottom shelf, so he can take them out if he wants. We have a water dispenser installed in our fridge, and Jonathan likes to press it – this however is strictly forbidden! Jonathan will pull up a chair if he wants to reach the dispenser – or anything located higher up. He will sometimes bring a chair from another room for such a purpose. Jonathan also likes to “pull up a chair” in the local delicatessen. He comes into the small shop and sits on a high stool demanding a piece of ham. Both owners know him by now and gladly treat him to a piece of “Shinken”. My husband and Jonathan are regular visitors. After Jonathan eats his piece , they purchase some of the delicious ham to take home. I ran once into one of the owners at a Falafel stand in the street, while I was walking with Jonathan and the delicatessen owner particularity greeted Jonathan and not myself...Today Jonathan even gave one of the owners a hug!
Jonathan has a few such favorite eating spots. The delicatessen is the ham spot, he has a shop for Humus around the corner, a particular ice cream shop on a near street and another in the near by shopping mall. Close to our apartment he also has a juice stand he loves. We buy him fresh fruit pressed (sweet tasty vitamins) and so toddler and parents are both happy. Last week we have been getting hot weather in the middle of February (usually the coldest month of the year) so my husband and I both took Jonathan to the juice stand on two separate occasions in one day. In both cases Jonathan not only drank his fill but chose to share his drink with the parent escorting him. He did so by pushing a second straw to his cup and inviting me to drink. My sister was with us and took a photo of Jonathan and me drinking “head to head” from the juice cup. When I showed it to my husband I found that Jonathan has done exactly the same with him earlier that day. He really is a very loving child!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Winter blues: Jonathan's great moment summary of the last two months or so
I did not have a computer, so some events have accumulated. It become recently cold and rainy here (winter for real for a change), so going to a friend to write has also not been an option. Jonathan is as cute as ever, is creating headlines for me on a continual basis – so here is a short summary.
His conversation and words improving every day. He now, more or less, repeats everything he hears and is always asking “ma ze?” , what's this? In order to find out new words.
Jonathan actually took a dump in the toilet for real! He did this twice this week. Following these events he was unwilling to wear a diaper and I let him run around without one, as he was home sick anyway. The result is that he wet his pants – although I asked him repeatedly if he needed to go to the loo. Funnily he seams to be getting it backwards – he wets his pants but does “bigger things” in the toilet. All the books say it usually goes the other way around.
Although we are not really trying to get off the diapers yet, because its winter here and this is a more summer sort of thing (roll the carpets and let him run with no clothes on, and no diapers either - learning to control one's needs with only the floors getting messy from time to time), Jonathan is expressing a growing interest in the toilet and a lessening willingness to wear diapers. We hope to try and get him off the diapers in Passover, when he has a week at home during the holiday. |It is then considerably warmer too.
Jonathan has understood from an early age that if he is not tall enough, he can get a chair, climb on it and reach his target. Now the shelves have also become a legitimate device for the same purpose. This is how he surprisingly reached the DVD player earlier this week at last. I turned my back for just a minute and whoops, he changed the CD in it alone! I have been keeping the DVD player high up as part of the mechanism to control the time Jonathan spends watching his DVD disks. But as his climbing has taken on a new turn and he has successfully changed DVD's at my mothers without breaking the player, I decided to bring it down again and keep controlling Jonathan's DVD intake by only putting up his CD's when we are done watching them for the day.
The first result of this policy was that he enjoys it very much and changes the CD's more often. The second result was that he reached to his fathers DVD collection, as he could not reach own – and broke one of the films. We are now reminding him that he is not permitted to touch the CD's in the shelves – just the one's in his box – which still remains high up....
Jonathan has been sick for a few days at home, and DVD played a major role in his entertainment, as it was cold outside. This morning he was to go to Kindergarten again – he refused. Even my leaving the house did not work! He has in fact recently been more willing to let me go out of the house and even says “buy bye” nicely if I Go out. This morning, I left indeed and my husband took him to kindergarten later, after he got his “DVD morning fix”. Even so, I think Jonathan likes his kindergarten and after today, he will remember again how nice it is and tomorrow morning it will be easier to get him out of the house.
His conversation and words improving every day. He now, more or less, repeats everything he hears and is always asking “ma ze?” , what's this? In order to find out new words.
Jonathan actually took a dump in the toilet for real! He did this twice this week. Following these events he was unwilling to wear a diaper and I let him run around without one, as he was home sick anyway. The result is that he wet his pants – although I asked him repeatedly if he needed to go to the loo. Funnily he seams to be getting it backwards – he wets his pants but does “bigger things” in the toilet. All the books say it usually goes the other way around.
Although we are not really trying to get off the diapers yet, because its winter here and this is a more summer sort of thing (roll the carpets and let him run with no clothes on, and no diapers either - learning to control one's needs with only the floors getting messy from time to time), Jonathan is expressing a growing interest in the toilet and a lessening willingness to wear diapers. We hope to try and get him off the diapers in Passover, when he has a week at home during the holiday. |It is then considerably warmer too.
Jonathan has understood from an early age that if he is not tall enough, he can get a chair, climb on it and reach his target. Now the shelves have also become a legitimate device for the same purpose. This is how he surprisingly reached the DVD player earlier this week at last. I turned my back for just a minute and whoops, he changed the CD in it alone! I have been keeping the DVD player high up as part of the mechanism to control the time Jonathan spends watching his DVD disks. But as his climbing has taken on a new turn and he has successfully changed DVD's at my mothers without breaking the player, I decided to bring it down again and keep controlling Jonathan's DVD intake by only putting up his CD's when we are done watching them for the day.
The first result of this policy was that he enjoys it very much and changes the CD's more often. The second result was that he reached to his fathers DVD collection, as he could not reach own – and broke one of the films. We are now reminding him that he is not permitted to touch the CD's in the shelves – just the one's in his box – which still remains high up....
Jonathan has been sick for a few days at home, and DVD played a major role in his entertainment, as it was cold outside. This morning he was to go to Kindergarten again – he refused. Even my leaving the house did not work! He has in fact recently been more willing to let me go out of the house and even says “buy bye” nicely if I Go out. This morning, I left indeed and my husband took him to kindergarten later, after he got his “DVD morning fix”. Even so, I think Jonathan likes his kindergarten and after today, he will remember again how nice it is and tomorrow morning it will be easier to get him out of the house.
Monday, December 28, 2009
The Breakfast Habit that Never Lasted
I guess it really takes a deep culture to develop certain habits. Not to mention that it helps if one is not a lazybone and bad morning person...
Just last month , my husband's sister came for a visit. She stayed 10 days. Anyone who has ever lived in German will asses that breakfast is an important meal there. Accordingly, my sister in law made a point of eating a healthy breakfast each morning. Jonathan seams delighted with the idea and gladly joined his aunt in the morning ceremony. And so, they ate cereals together every morning.(before this visit I sometimes gave Jonathan some cereal in a plastic bag – for the road, but there was no real breakfast – not surprising really, as my husband and I do not normally partake in this meal). A little cuddling after breakfast seamed just as natural and enjoyable for both aunt and nephew... During her visit Jonathan came late to kindergarten...
After the said aunt left, I decided to take a leaf from her book and try to establish the breakfast habit that was born from her visit. I dutifully set the cereals for Jonathan on the table and we ate together after we were dressed and only then did we leave for kindergarten. The habit lasted just one week! And this time it was not because of me! Jonathan lost interest!
My son, like his parents likes his sleep in the morning and does not have patience for breakfast. Nor does he mind leaving the house quickly. And so we are back to our old ways. We get us and get ready to go quickly and sometimes Jonathan gets a bag of cereal in addition to the morning bottle he takes for the road (a five minute walk around the corner to the kindergarten). And yes, I know how important breakfast is supposedly...
Just last month , my husband's sister came for a visit. She stayed 10 days. Anyone who has ever lived in German will asses that breakfast is an important meal there. Accordingly, my sister in law made a point of eating a healthy breakfast each morning. Jonathan seams delighted with the idea and gladly joined his aunt in the morning ceremony. And so, they ate cereals together every morning.(before this visit I sometimes gave Jonathan some cereal in a plastic bag – for the road, but there was no real breakfast – not surprising really, as my husband and I do not normally partake in this meal). A little cuddling after breakfast seamed just as natural and enjoyable for both aunt and nephew... During her visit Jonathan came late to kindergarten...
After the said aunt left, I decided to take a leaf from her book and try to establish the breakfast habit that was born from her visit. I dutifully set the cereals for Jonathan on the table and we ate together after we were dressed and only then did we leave for kindergarten. The habit lasted just one week! And this time it was not because of me! Jonathan lost interest!
My son, like his parents likes his sleep in the morning and does not have patience for breakfast. Nor does he mind leaving the house quickly. And so we are back to our old ways. We get us and get ready to go quickly and sometimes Jonathan gets a bag of cereal in addition to the morning bottle he takes for the road (a five minute walk around the corner to the kindergarten). And yes, I know how important breakfast is supposedly...
The Fears of a Traveling Parent
Its been almost a month since I returned from a 10 day business trip, and only now I am ready to write about my fears. I did fly once before for a weekend and was gone for three days – but this time it was a longer trip and my conscience played the mamba on the strings of my sole.
As I prepared for a 10 day trip abroad for business, I kept wondering exactly how long is Jonathan's memory. At almost two years of age, he was always showing us more surprising evidence of what he learns and remembers. He is especially good at navigating (just last weekend he took me to a house of another boy his age. He wanted to visit his friend and simply knew the way...). I was always wondering if he would forget me because of a long absence. Would he reject me? Oh! Just the thought pierced my sole.
There was also my husband. He was to remain home with Jonathan for 10 days straight! Alone!
I would be lying if I would write that I was not concerned. Not that I do not think my husband can care for the boy – of course he can! My concern was more for Jonathan's routine. In our household I am the stricter parent when it comes to routine. My husband is more easy going.
When my husband traveled abroad for 14 days two weeks before my trip, it took Jonathan about a day and a half to get used to him again when he returned, even though it was clear that Jonathan never forgot his daddy. During the time my husband was away, Jonathan stuck to me like glue (even more than usual)- it was as if he was feeling the loss of one parent (his absent father) and was thus guarding the remaining care giver (his mommy) with special care. He basically did not let me out of his sight and followed me wherever I went when we were together. It was because of this that I called on my mother and brother to visit and relieve my husband a little during my absence. This way, I hoped to compensate Jonathan for his absent mommy by supplying alternative sources of love. They both dutifully came and Jonathan got a little family TLC .
I dutifully called every evening to speak to him and insisted that he hear my voice. My husband was always happy to hear my voice and talk to me, but not so my son who did not want to talk on the phone. As the days went by, Jonathan rejected the phone more aggressively and my heart broke. I was already imagining that he would simply turn his back on me when I came back.
What actually happened was that the moment he saw me he hugged me and immediately sat on my lap and we watched DVD together the whole morning (I took him to kindergarten late that day – another compensation, trying to make up for the “together time” lost). The only problem we had was a renewed difficulty to separate from me, when I took him to kindergarten in the following days . The solution was that for a while my husband took him in the mornings to ease the separation process. Only now, after a month, I am seeing that he once again has no problem when coming to kindergarten in the morning – and even if he still does not like it that I leave he loves the care givers there and plays and is a happy and thriving boy!
Even as I was preparing for the trip it was obvious that everything will be OK. That the only party to suffer anything at all from thew trip is me. Ironically, the chances are that Jonathan will not remember the time that I was away (he is too small) when he is older. It is I who will always remember all the doubts and fears associated with the trip!
As I prepared for a 10 day trip abroad for business, I kept wondering exactly how long is Jonathan's memory. At almost two years of age, he was always showing us more surprising evidence of what he learns and remembers. He is especially good at navigating (just last weekend he took me to a house of another boy his age. He wanted to visit his friend and simply knew the way...). I was always wondering if he would forget me because of a long absence. Would he reject me? Oh! Just the thought pierced my sole.
There was also my husband. He was to remain home with Jonathan for 10 days straight! Alone!
I would be lying if I would write that I was not concerned. Not that I do not think my husband can care for the boy – of course he can! My concern was more for Jonathan's routine. In our household I am the stricter parent when it comes to routine. My husband is more easy going.
When my husband traveled abroad for 14 days two weeks before my trip, it took Jonathan about a day and a half to get used to him again when he returned, even though it was clear that Jonathan never forgot his daddy. During the time my husband was away, Jonathan stuck to me like glue (even more than usual)- it was as if he was feeling the loss of one parent (his absent father) and was thus guarding the remaining care giver (his mommy) with special care. He basically did not let me out of his sight and followed me wherever I went when we were together. It was because of this that I called on my mother and brother to visit and relieve my husband a little during my absence. This way, I hoped to compensate Jonathan for his absent mommy by supplying alternative sources of love. They both dutifully came and Jonathan got a little family TLC .
I dutifully called every evening to speak to him and insisted that he hear my voice. My husband was always happy to hear my voice and talk to me, but not so my son who did not want to talk on the phone. As the days went by, Jonathan rejected the phone more aggressively and my heart broke. I was already imagining that he would simply turn his back on me when I came back.
What actually happened was that the moment he saw me he hugged me and immediately sat on my lap and we watched DVD together the whole morning (I took him to kindergarten late that day – another compensation, trying to make up for the “together time” lost). The only problem we had was a renewed difficulty to separate from me, when I took him to kindergarten in the following days . The solution was that for a while my husband took him in the mornings to ease the separation process. Only now, after a month, I am seeing that he once again has no problem when coming to kindergarten in the morning – and even if he still does not like it that I leave he loves the care givers there and plays and is a happy and thriving boy!
Even as I was preparing for the trip it was obvious that everything will be OK. That the only party to suffer anything at all from thew trip is me. Ironically, the chances are that Jonathan will not remember the time that I was away (he is too small) when he is older. It is I who will always remember all the doubts and fears associated with the trip!
A Matter of Choice
As a toddler grows, so does he wish to be more independent. Each baby has his/her own way of challenging parents in the strife for independence – Jonathan way is being the king of choice.
Actually, the books say that choice is a very good thing for a two year old (the books say nothing about the wellbeing of the parents though...). Giving your little one a choice is a way to show your child that you trust them and want them to share in the burden of decision making. In taking part in such activity they build a strong self esteem and are supposedly more assured and happier.
Jonathan loves to choose, and I have discovered it is indeed easier if I let him choose – all within certain limits of course. For example: we use Pampers because this is more or less the only diaper big enough for Jonathan, but Pampers have different animal drawings on them (unlike Huggies, that are also big enough but all diapers in one package have the same drawing – usually Disney...but mommy did not choose Huggies...). So Jonathan wants to select which animals he may use as underwear each morning... At first the diaper drawer was full and Jonathan would turn over 10 diapers and make a big mess, until I lost my temper. It took me three days to think of a solution, but then I came up with the ingenious idea of hiding our diapers stock and putting only two units in the drawer that Jonathan knows as the “diaper depot”. This way he gets to choose between two units (and even returns the unchosen nappy to its place – he insists on returning it) and I get some peace. He also chooses his shirts, socks and trousers – this time its more difficult, because there are more than two options to choose from for each item.
The song says “Three is a magic number” and I admit being a family with one child is indeed magical, even if albeit hard work. But in the case of a two year old, two is definitely the magic number – two nappies to choose from, two pairs of shoes to choose from - two fruit juice flavors to choose from, chocolate or milk – two powders to choose from.
We have about 20 DVD's that are intended for children and are all located together in one box – so as there are more than two – we have a big mess and Jonathan has fun making it. Jonathan is always wanting to change the DVD that is playing – I have tried offering only two (or 4 DVD's) and yet he insists on having the whole box to choose from. I think what really turns him on in this case is operating the DVD player, and not so much choosing what will be played.
Jonathan has also two parents he can choose from – and he chooses where he feels he will get the best deal. If I do not allow something he will run to my husband and try again...
Like any two year old he has a preference for mommy, but the way I see it – when he is old enough to play soccer, my golden era will be over and his daddy (and grandpa) will be the star(s) of his life – that is until friends take our place...
Jonathan also has two languages to choose from. And it seams more clear as the days go by that he really does understands that there are indeed two separate languages; Hebrew and German. His father takes him once a week to a German speaking play group and we hope this will strengthen his German skills. After all, as Jonathan is growing up in Israel, he is surrounded by Hebrew speakers (kindergarten, family etc.) and German is connected only to his father who speaks it with him. I also speak German but only when I am with both my husband and Jonathan (other wise I speak Hebrew to the boy). Jonathan has already used a few words in German – mostly counting to three and protesting and saying no! (nein) when he disagrees with his father. If saying no in Hebrew does not work, he will try it in German – no matter with whom he is speaking. Jonathan is making the most of his choices in this case. (There is one word he has adopted from English – mouse, as in Micky mouse, he got it off a Children's DVD.)
Jonathan has also two favorite themes which he likes to talk about – animals and numbers. Again its all a matter of choice and two is indeed a magical source of options.
One of the clear choices Jonathan made recently was to choose to no longer sleep in a baby bed. One day he simply started laying down to sleep on the mattress I usually used to lie near him until he fell asleep (in the baby bed). And so we both lied don the floor together and read together and sang together until he slept. Therefore, we recently purchased Jonathan a bed for big kids, so now there are two mattresses to choose from. Jonathan has chosen to sleep on the lower one. At first I lifted him up to the higher one and then closed the lower mattress (its an opening bed for friends, and for parents that must stick around in the middle of the night...) but eventually I accepted his choice and even find it a bit safer – should he roll off the bed, he will only “drop” 20 cm from the lower mattress. IF he wakes me up in the middle of the night, then I sometimes lie (and fall asleep) on the higher mattress to be near him in comfort.
We even have two books we take to bed when Jonathan goes to sleep. One is a classical children's story about 5 balloons that I grew up with and Jonathan loves to tell me himself – by mimicking parts of the story (he still does not really talk except single words and syllables and distortions, no sentences). And another is a book with animal pictures, we have a song for each animal (did I mention he loves animals?). My Jonathan loves to sing! He sings better than he talks and he learns words from the songs. Just like in the ABBA song...
This singing and story telling time in the evening is some of the best “quality time” my son and I spend together, and yet I must shorten it, as I wish to teach Jonathan to put himself to sleep – in the hope that this way he will be board and will fall asleep faster. Today was the first trial and Jonathan chose to get out of bed and call us again and again, until my husband gave in and came to sit with him until he fell asleep – but we hope he will get the hang of it soon – after all this is one of choices his parents are making for him...
Actually, the books say that choice is a very good thing for a two year old (the books say nothing about the wellbeing of the parents though...). Giving your little one a choice is a way to show your child that you trust them and want them to share in the burden of decision making. In taking part in such activity they build a strong self esteem and are supposedly more assured and happier.
Jonathan loves to choose, and I have discovered it is indeed easier if I let him choose – all within certain limits of course. For example: we use Pampers because this is more or less the only diaper big enough for Jonathan, but Pampers have different animal drawings on them (unlike Huggies, that are also big enough but all diapers in one package have the same drawing – usually Disney...but mommy did not choose Huggies...). So Jonathan wants to select which animals he may use as underwear each morning... At first the diaper drawer was full and Jonathan would turn over 10 diapers and make a big mess, until I lost my temper. It took me three days to think of a solution, but then I came up with the ingenious idea of hiding our diapers stock and putting only two units in the drawer that Jonathan knows as the “diaper depot”. This way he gets to choose between two units (and even returns the unchosen nappy to its place – he insists on returning it) and I get some peace. He also chooses his shirts, socks and trousers – this time its more difficult, because there are more than two options to choose from for each item.
The song says “Three is a magic number” and I admit being a family with one child is indeed magical, even if albeit hard work. But in the case of a two year old, two is definitely the magic number – two nappies to choose from, two pairs of shoes to choose from - two fruit juice flavors to choose from, chocolate or milk – two powders to choose from.
We have about 20 DVD's that are intended for children and are all located together in one box – so as there are more than two – we have a big mess and Jonathan has fun making it. Jonathan is always wanting to change the DVD that is playing – I have tried offering only two (or 4 DVD's) and yet he insists on having the whole box to choose from. I think what really turns him on in this case is operating the DVD player, and not so much choosing what will be played.
Jonathan has also two parents he can choose from – and he chooses where he feels he will get the best deal. If I do not allow something he will run to my husband and try again...
Like any two year old he has a preference for mommy, but the way I see it – when he is old enough to play soccer, my golden era will be over and his daddy (and grandpa) will be the star(s) of his life – that is until friends take our place...
Jonathan also has two languages to choose from. And it seams more clear as the days go by that he really does understands that there are indeed two separate languages; Hebrew and German. His father takes him once a week to a German speaking play group and we hope this will strengthen his German skills. After all, as Jonathan is growing up in Israel, he is surrounded by Hebrew speakers (kindergarten, family etc.) and German is connected only to his father who speaks it with him. I also speak German but only when I am with both my husband and Jonathan (other wise I speak Hebrew to the boy). Jonathan has already used a few words in German – mostly counting to three and protesting and saying no! (nein) when he disagrees with his father. If saying no in Hebrew does not work, he will try it in German – no matter with whom he is speaking. Jonathan is making the most of his choices in this case. (There is one word he has adopted from English – mouse, as in Micky mouse, he got it off a Children's DVD.)
Jonathan has also two favorite themes which he likes to talk about – animals and numbers. Again its all a matter of choice and two is indeed a magical source of options.
One of the clear choices Jonathan made recently was to choose to no longer sleep in a baby bed. One day he simply started laying down to sleep on the mattress I usually used to lie near him until he fell asleep (in the baby bed). And so we both lied don the floor together and read together and sang together until he slept. Therefore, we recently purchased Jonathan a bed for big kids, so now there are two mattresses to choose from. Jonathan has chosen to sleep on the lower one. At first I lifted him up to the higher one and then closed the lower mattress (its an opening bed for friends, and for parents that must stick around in the middle of the night...) but eventually I accepted his choice and even find it a bit safer – should he roll off the bed, he will only “drop” 20 cm from the lower mattress. IF he wakes me up in the middle of the night, then I sometimes lie (and fall asleep) on the higher mattress to be near him in comfort.
We even have two books we take to bed when Jonathan goes to sleep. One is a classical children's story about 5 balloons that I grew up with and Jonathan loves to tell me himself – by mimicking parts of the story (he still does not really talk except single words and syllables and distortions, no sentences). And another is a book with animal pictures, we have a song for each animal (did I mention he loves animals?). My Jonathan loves to sing! He sings better than he talks and he learns words from the songs. Just like in the ABBA song...
This singing and story telling time in the evening is some of the best “quality time” my son and I spend together, and yet I must shorten it, as I wish to teach Jonathan to put himself to sleep – in the hope that this way he will be board and will fall asleep faster. Today was the first trial and Jonathan chose to get out of bed and call us again and again, until my husband gave in and came to sit with him until he fell asleep – but we hope he will get the hang of it soon – after all this is one of choices his parents are making for him...
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Purchasing Phases
When you first have a baby, you have no true idea of the economic duty you have just taken upon yourself. Then you spend and buy for the new infant and once you have everything arranged (see list blog from 2008) you thinks its over! But no! The baby grows and you are rushing to purchase yet again...
Your baby's life cycle determines your expenses. Just when you think you have finished buying all the stuff your baby needs they have grown and need new stuff. And I believe this will go on until they are fully grown! And even afterwards...
The purchasing phases I have discovered so far:
1 - The newborn: baby bed, cabinet, trolley/stroller – these are the big items! Smaller things – like clothes (you will always have to buy some, even if you are collecting from friends) bottles and diapers top it all off. Clothes and diapers are a continuous phase (see below).
2 – Eating solids: now you have to buy bigger bottles but also solid foods, organic vegetables to cook and grind and of course the baby chair. Clothes are also of a bigger size, as are diapers – which are becoming more expensive (the clever diapers manufacturers do not change the price of the package they just lower the number of diapers it contains!).
3 – First shoes: you can buy the cute little slippers but soon they are too small and you need to buy another pair. Season changes are no help when it comes to the frequency of purchasing toddler shoes. Once you start with the shoes – its a continuous phase (see below).
4 – The big boy's/girl's bed – we have now just gone through this phase. The baby bed is not longer relevant and an investment made just 24 months ago is now sunk cost! In our case, the baby bed has moved on to my sister and it may be returned to us in the future when a new baby causes us to start the cycle again (anything you get as a gift or collect second hand is pure saving because nothing lasts in a baby's life for too long – their needs change – hence the purchasing phases...). We now bought a new bed, but this is not the only new thing to this phase – bed covers are required, enough so we can change them often because he might still wet his bed (now due to over-filled diapers and soon due to his potty training) and plastic protecting covers (did I mention wetting the bed?) and blankets, and new pajamas (its Winter and Jonathan is bigger...last years PJ's and baby blanket just will no longer do).
5 – Potty training: diapers are still in full swing but a toilet seat is required and so are pant like expensive diapers. Diapers will remain with us for the night time for some time to come but their consumption will eventually be reduced. We already purchased the toilet seat for toddlers because Jonathan is showing interest in it, but true potty training is planned for the Spring (he can then run about naked in the warm weather – I will save on detergents and water due to less washing).
This is as far as I have come...
Continuous phases
A - Clothes – season changes and a growing toddler mean you cannot collect or receive 100% of the clothes you require.
B - Shoes are also a frustrating investment because at the age of 2 they only last for an average of 3-4 months – the boy grows and his feet grow with him...
C - Toys too are a continuing investment and relevant for about 6 months – different development phases require new and more challenging toys as the toddler grows. The only bright light in the toy tunnel is that a two year old can find a new born baby toy totally fascinating, after all he has not seen such a thing for two years – hence it is innovative for him (in his fast paced world anything as new as 6 months is boring and familiar – but older stuff is vintage...).
I am sure there are more phases, but I need to determine them first. One thing I am now sure about – above the age of 1.5 years – one has nothing to do in a focused baby shop! Your toddler needs stuff you can find anywhere but there!
May the university tutorage payment be the last phase...
ahh, my parents are still spending on me, via Jonathan of course...
Your baby's life cycle determines your expenses. Just when you think you have finished buying all the stuff your baby needs they have grown and need new stuff. And I believe this will go on until they are fully grown! And even afterwards...
The purchasing phases I have discovered so far:
1 - The newborn: baby bed, cabinet, trolley/stroller – these are the big items! Smaller things – like clothes (you will always have to buy some, even if you are collecting from friends) bottles and diapers top it all off. Clothes and diapers are a continuous phase (see below).
2 – Eating solids: now you have to buy bigger bottles but also solid foods, organic vegetables to cook and grind and of course the baby chair. Clothes are also of a bigger size, as are diapers – which are becoming more expensive (the clever diapers manufacturers do not change the price of the package they just lower the number of diapers it contains!).
3 – First shoes: you can buy the cute little slippers but soon they are too small and you need to buy another pair. Season changes are no help when it comes to the frequency of purchasing toddler shoes. Once you start with the shoes – its a continuous phase (see below).
4 – The big boy's/girl's bed – we have now just gone through this phase. The baby bed is not longer relevant and an investment made just 24 months ago is now sunk cost! In our case, the baby bed has moved on to my sister and it may be returned to us in the future when a new baby causes us to start the cycle again (anything you get as a gift or collect second hand is pure saving because nothing lasts in a baby's life for too long – their needs change – hence the purchasing phases...). We now bought a new bed, but this is not the only new thing to this phase – bed covers are required, enough so we can change them often because he might still wet his bed (now due to over-filled diapers and soon due to his potty training) and plastic protecting covers (did I mention wetting the bed?) and blankets, and new pajamas (its Winter and Jonathan is bigger...last years PJ's and baby blanket just will no longer do).
5 – Potty training: diapers are still in full swing but a toilet seat is required and so are pant like expensive diapers. Diapers will remain with us for the night time for some time to come but their consumption will eventually be reduced. We already purchased the toilet seat for toddlers because Jonathan is showing interest in it, but true potty training is planned for the Spring (he can then run about naked in the warm weather – I will save on detergents and water due to less washing).
This is as far as I have come...
Continuous phases
A - Clothes – season changes and a growing toddler mean you cannot collect or receive 100% of the clothes you require.
B - Shoes are also a frustrating investment because at the age of 2 they only last for an average of 3-4 months – the boy grows and his feet grow with him...
C - Toys too are a continuing investment and relevant for about 6 months – different development phases require new and more challenging toys as the toddler grows. The only bright light in the toy tunnel is that a two year old can find a new born baby toy totally fascinating, after all he has not seen such a thing for two years – hence it is innovative for him (in his fast paced world anything as new as 6 months is boring and familiar – but older stuff is vintage...).
I am sure there are more phases, but I need to determine them first. One thing I am now sure about – above the age of 1.5 years – one has nothing to do in a focused baby shop! Your toddler needs stuff you can find anywhere but there!
May the university tutorage payment be the last phase...
ahh, my parents are still spending on me, via Jonathan of course...
Possession
I am not sure that Jonathan has an understanding of the idea of presents, he has just turned 2 years old and we gave him a birthday party. He loves tearing the paper off the packages, but there is no added value to the gift itself, after all, from Jonathan's point of view, he owns the entire world anyway, especially his mommy...
Possession is a simple concept for toddlers, what they are strong enough to take, is theirs to enjoy! This is true for games and toys (shoving other kids out of the way in the grabbing process) and for food (anything mom or dad or grandma eat is legally the child's property and is immediately confiscated by said child, and indeed given up by said parents/relatives).
This is doubly true for mommy – a toddler has exclusive ownership of their mother – at least in their eyes – and siblings and cousins are irrelevant! Climbing on my back at any time, pulling me about so that I will join him in any part of the house or any activity he is undertaking is all routine to Jonathan. Grabbing at my glasses or my clothes and shoving items under my shirt (and fondling me when trying to then pull them out) is all normal daily activity to him – after all, as a first child, “we are the king!”.
I admit I enjoy his climbing escapades and allow them. I try to put some limit to his peeping under my shirt and absolutely forbid him to hit me (which he does under protest, like all toddlers) so we do have some borders. Even though I am his! From his point of view and to be honest also from mine (his daddy however definitely does not share this opinion...).
My sister has just had a baby, a daughter who is now two months old. At last an opportunity has come, in which I am not too sick (a true Winter problem for parents – always a running nose somewhere in the family) and I could hold my new niece in my arms. I sat with her on my lap, just this last weekend in a family get-together. I enjoyed the new baby smell and the baby's mom enjoyed a break. The only unsatisfied party in the room was Jonathan.
As long as my niece is in her baby pen, Jonathan loves to look at her and instruct everyone to be quiet in her vicinity (finger to lips and shushing noises). But as soon as the “little startup” has dared to invade his property, and locate herself on HIS mommy's lap (actually the little baby was a passive party and I was to blame for this scandalous location) then all is fair in love and war!
While I was trying to encourage Jonathan to stroke and cuddle the baby, which he did, and to say “baby” in Hebrew, which he did, he was continuously pulling at the little girl's sleeve, trying to literally remove her from my lap. I naturally did not permit this and hence we were in a curious pulling war for a few minutes – Jonathan pulling at the baby and I pulling his arm away from her.
My sister, concerned for her new baby offered to take her away – I insisted at first that she remain where she is, after all, Jonathan should learn to accept other babies on my lap – or his future siblings (whenever they come to the world, and no, no plans or little secrets to hide) have no chance of a little TLC. If he cannot learn on a mere cousin, what will it be like with a sibling?
My older sister said her boy was just as jealous when he was two (said boy is now 8 years old). After all cousins and babies of friends are the “good guys” because they are temporary disturbances in the toddler's world. Its all over when one returns home alone with mommy and daddy! Yippee! Its the siblings (siblkings?) that are a constant problem (hence the so called“bad guys”) and which cause true and sometimes violent jealousy attacks.
Eventually I decided to end the training session and gave the baby back to its mother. My lap was now empty and everything in Jonathan's world seamed to have returned to normal. He was however not happy until he came and gave me a big hug, immediately after the baby was removed from me – testing 100% that the space is indeed free again. His so obvious relief at this new found space, and his staying in a hugging position for some time, all contributed to our glee at the irony of the entire situation and my sisters, mother, and I had a good laugh. Jonathan's sigh of relief was the cream on top of our cake....
Possession is a simple concept for toddlers, what they are strong enough to take, is theirs to enjoy! This is true for games and toys (shoving other kids out of the way in the grabbing process) and for food (anything mom or dad or grandma eat is legally the child's property and is immediately confiscated by said child, and indeed given up by said parents/relatives).
This is doubly true for mommy – a toddler has exclusive ownership of their mother – at least in their eyes – and siblings and cousins are irrelevant! Climbing on my back at any time, pulling me about so that I will join him in any part of the house or any activity he is undertaking is all routine to Jonathan. Grabbing at my glasses or my clothes and shoving items under my shirt (and fondling me when trying to then pull them out) is all normal daily activity to him – after all, as a first child, “we are the king!”.
I admit I enjoy his climbing escapades and allow them. I try to put some limit to his peeping under my shirt and absolutely forbid him to hit me (which he does under protest, like all toddlers) so we do have some borders. Even though I am his! From his point of view and to be honest also from mine (his daddy however definitely does not share this opinion...).
My sister has just had a baby, a daughter who is now two months old. At last an opportunity has come, in which I am not too sick (a true Winter problem for parents – always a running nose somewhere in the family) and I could hold my new niece in my arms. I sat with her on my lap, just this last weekend in a family get-together. I enjoyed the new baby smell and the baby's mom enjoyed a break. The only unsatisfied party in the room was Jonathan.
As long as my niece is in her baby pen, Jonathan loves to look at her and instruct everyone to be quiet in her vicinity (finger to lips and shushing noises). But as soon as the “little startup” has dared to invade his property, and locate herself on HIS mommy's lap (actually the little baby was a passive party and I was to blame for this scandalous location) then all is fair in love and war!
While I was trying to encourage Jonathan to stroke and cuddle the baby, which he did, and to say “baby” in Hebrew, which he did, he was continuously pulling at the little girl's sleeve, trying to literally remove her from my lap. I naturally did not permit this and hence we were in a curious pulling war for a few minutes – Jonathan pulling at the baby and I pulling his arm away from her.
My sister, concerned for her new baby offered to take her away – I insisted at first that she remain where she is, after all, Jonathan should learn to accept other babies on my lap – or his future siblings (whenever they come to the world, and no, no plans or little secrets to hide) have no chance of a little TLC. If he cannot learn on a mere cousin, what will it be like with a sibling?
My older sister said her boy was just as jealous when he was two (said boy is now 8 years old). After all cousins and babies of friends are the “good guys” because they are temporary disturbances in the toddler's world. Its all over when one returns home alone with mommy and daddy! Yippee! Its the siblings (siblkings?) that are a constant problem (hence the so called“bad guys”) and which cause true and sometimes violent jealousy attacks.
Eventually I decided to end the training session and gave the baby back to its mother. My lap was now empty and everything in Jonathan's world seamed to have returned to normal. He was however not happy until he came and gave me a big hug, immediately after the baby was removed from me – testing 100% that the space is indeed free again. His so obvious relief at this new found space, and his staying in a hugging position for some time, all contributed to our glee at the irony of the entire situation and my sisters, mother, and I had a good laugh. Jonathan's sigh of relief was the cream on top of our cake....
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