Possession

I am not sure that Jonathan has an understanding of the idea of presents, he has just turned 2 years old and we gave him a birthday party. He loves tearing the paper off the packages, but there is no added value to the gift itself, after all, from Jonathan's point of view, he owns the entire world anyway, especially his mommy...

Possession is a simple concept for toddlers, what they are strong enough to take, is theirs to enjoy! This is true for games and toys (shoving other kids out of the way in the grabbing process) and for food (anything mom or dad or grandma eat is legally the child's property and is immediately confiscated by said child, and indeed given up by said parents/relatives).

This is doubly true for mommy – a toddler has exclusive ownership of their mother – at least in their eyes – and siblings and cousins are irrelevant! Climbing on my back at any time, pulling me about so that I will join him in any part of the house or any activity he is undertaking is all routine to Jonathan. Grabbing at my glasses or my clothes and shoving items under my shirt (and fondling me when trying to then pull them out) is all normal daily activity to him – after all, as a first child, “we are the king!”.
I admit I enjoy his climbing escapades and allow them. I try to put some limit to his peeping under my shirt and absolutely forbid him to hit me (which he does under protest, like all toddlers) so we do have some borders. Even though I am his! From his point of view and to be honest also from mine (his daddy however definitely does not share this opinion...).

My sister has just had a baby, a daughter who is now two months old. At last an opportunity has come, in which I am not too sick (a true Winter problem for parents – always a running nose somewhere in the family) and I could hold my new niece in my arms. I sat with her on my lap, just this last weekend in a family get-together. I enjoyed the new baby smell and the baby's mom enjoyed a break. The only unsatisfied party in the room was Jonathan.

As long as my niece is in her baby pen, Jonathan loves to look at her and instruct everyone to be quiet in her vicinity (finger to lips and shushing noises). But as soon as the “little startup” has dared to invade his property, and locate herself on HIS mommy's lap (actually the little baby was a passive party and I was to blame for this scandalous location) then all is fair in love and war!
While I was trying to encourage Jonathan to stroke and cuddle the baby, which he did, and to say “baby” in Hebrew, which he did, he was continuously pulling at the little girl's sleeve, trying to literally remove her from my lap. I naturally did not permit this and hence we were in a curious pulling war for a few minutes – Jonathan pulling at the baby and I pulling his arm away from her.

My sister, concerned for her new baby offered to take her away – I insisted at first that she remain where she is, after all, Jonathan should learn to accept other babies on my lap – or his future siblings (whenever they come to the world, and no, no plans or little secrets to hide) have no chance of a little TLC. If he cannot learn on a mere cousin, what will it be like with a sibling?
My older sister said her boy was just as jealous when he was two (said boy is now 8 years old). After all cousins and babies of friends are the “good guys” because they are temporary disturbances in the toddler's world. Its all over when one returns home alone with mommy and daddy! Yippee! Its the siblings (siblkings?) that are a constant problem (hence the so called“bad guys”) and which cause true and sometimes violent jealousy attacks.

Eventually I decided to end the training session and gave the baby back to its mother. My lap was now empty and everything in Jonathan's world seamed to have returned to normal. He was however not happy until he came and gave me a big hug, immediately after the baby was removed from me – testing 100% that the space is indeed free again. His so obvious relief at this new found space, and his staying in a hugging position for some time, all contributed to our glee at the irony of the entire situation and my sisters, mother, and I had a good laugh. Jonathan's sigh of relief was the cream on top of our cake....