Speech Therapy

At the advanced age of 3 years and 5 months, Jonathan is finally showing serious speech abilities and is finally conducting a conversation with us. But parents should be careful what they wish for; conversation has opened a whole new dimension of negotiation and manipulation for the clever rascal…

After 3 months of speech therapy, Jonathan is finally showing some results. The boy has started composing sentences and is finally really talking with us. Regretfully, my husband cannot enjoy much of this development because he hardly understands what the boy is saying in Hebrew, but for me it is obvious that Jonathan’s speech capability has made a quantum leap! Even in German he is slowly beginning to compose sentences, and he also imitates the English he hears when watching the Simpson’s DVD tapes his daddy so diligently collects.

A whole new world of communication is now open to us. Jonathan is finally responding in words to things he is being told. Asking questions and expecting answers (which I sometimes do not know how to give. Turns out it is very hard to explain things to a three year old…). We were longing for the moment in which we would be able it finally converse with the boy and now our wish is backfiring a little, with the new channel of communication a new dimension of checking his borders and expressing his mind has opened. Jonathan is negotiating his position in our household. If in the past, he would show his wishes mainly via physical resistance, he now combines it with words and thus doubling his arsenal of tactics to challenge my authority. Now not only do I have to chase him about, I also have to argue every point.

The word he uses most is “no”. Everything should just NOT happen the way we parents say it is. He does not accept the simple explanation that some things are a force of nature (rain) and other a simple necessity (like going to work and to kindergarten each day). From a book about a boy who has a new baby brother, he has chosen to take the literal message of demanding attention that can be found in it, rather than the message of playing and sharing with siblings, cousins or friends. The fact that Jonathan can express his opinions means we need to take them into consideration. Even if we do not agree with him, these themes now need to be discussed and our point of view explained. In order to get him to do anything peacefully, Jonathan has to agree to the solution we propose – our wits are always in full alert to all the possibilities of offering an attractive solution that is also acceptable to us.

Speech however is not all bad. Clearer communication has lowered many stress factors. Jonathan’s frustrations at being misunderstood have been considerably reduced and it is a true pleasure to discuss the day’s routine with him. He can also demonstrate his true understanding of things and the dynamics of his daily experiences with great clarity. At last my son can tell me what happened in kindergarten today. My mother finally understands her grandson and can cooperate with his expressed wishes.

Jonathan also has a new tool of expressing his love. Just the other day, as he was getting ready for bed, I explained that I must go out. The boy started protesting that I must NOT go out (the word “no” again) and I simply replied that I will go and come back to him soon. He did not like it and repeated his wish/demand that I not go. Then he paused to think and said in a wining voice “but I promise that I will behave”- big eyes beckoned me to accept his gesture. Good behaviour in exchange for my remaining at home. I found the whole scene just too adorable! His train of thought shows that he understands the importance of good behaviour to me. He demonstrates an amazing sense of logic and of consequences. Despite extra points for true cuteness, I went out and his daddy put him to bed.