Jonathan is growing and developing constantly. He is proud to be a big boy and all “grown up” as his kindergarten teacher says. He wants to be useful and it is my job to encourage him without going nuts in the process…
Despite Jonathan’s wish to share his experiences with me on a continuous basis, and his newly revealed ability to explain himself and order me about in coherent speech, he also wants to do many more things alone. He wants to show me that he is a big boy by preparing his own chocolate drink or juice. He is also very capable. In fact, he usually manages the task of preparing his soft drinks without making a mess. He only drips syrup if I try to assist him. The amount of chocolate powder that lands on the floor is considerably lessened if I do not try to help him.
On Saturday, I left the boy along for about 10 minutes. He decided he wanted to have a birthday party. It is not clear whose birthday it was or who were to be the guests, Jonathan was serving juice for everybody! Being left to himself, he used the time to take the three types of syrup off the shelf in the kitchen, take them out to the living room along with paper cups. He arranged the cups in neat rows (about 25 of them) and the poured small portions of syrup form all three taste varieties into the cups. He did not drip even once on the floor. I spent the next 25 minutes pouring the syrup back into the bottles and removing the cups, but Jonathan was already busy changing a DVD tape and playing it for himself (did I mention he got the DVD from the higher shelves - he has no problem raiding his father’s Simpson DVD collection).
Jonathan likes to help me. He likes to set the table and put out cutlery for everyone. We spent the spring holiday with my parents and so Jonathan was able to set the table for 4 repeatedly. He truly likes to be useful. He likes to pour juice for all the people at the table – regardless if not all of them want to drink the same juice as him – we eventually compromised on two glasses in addition to his own. As always, Jonathan likes to have his own way – he wants to be helpful on his terms. When my mother wanted to pour soup and thus refused to give Jonathan the soup plates to set on the table, he was insulted that he was not permitted to be helpful. It did not help that I explained that grandma needs to serve the soup first, or that it’s too warm to allow him to distribute the bowls.
Cutting his own bread slice into halves in order to make a sandwich is also a task he is trying to master. I wonder how long it will take before he wants to dice his own schnitzel. He already wants to cut up his own omelette to smaller pieces.
Being a big by also means he can hold onto his need to go to the restrooms. He likes to pee at every tree but he prefers to poo on a toilet seat and preferably at home (or in places he knows, like a restaurant/ cafe we visit repeatedly). We were in the play ground one afternoon when he announced he needed to “do the big one” in the toilet. He also insisted on going home to do so. We ran all the way home and I encouraged him to hold on and not let the goods slip out into his pants. The trip takes about 10 minutes running and Jonathan even stopped to look at numbers and wonder at their exact quantitative meaning (a hobby I usually encourage – he is just finding out that 72 and 27 are not the same and he loves 30, 32 but keeps mixing up 6 and 8 ).
Despite such delays, the boy held firm I find it a great improvement, because until very recently he announced his need to go to the restroom at almost the last minute, sometimes not containing himself until he was properly seated. But good intentions are sometimes just not enough. As long as he was dressed and running, he managed. Even when I fumbled for my keys at the entrance to our apartment, the boy held firm. We finally go into the house and he ran directly for the toilet. Unfortunately the moment he removed his underwear, the deed was done. The bulk just slipped on the floor before Jonathan managed to seat himself and I had to do some collecting and cleaning. I believe the relief he felt in getting it all out at last prevented any frustration on his part from missing the toilet seat by less than an inch. There was however only place for compliments, as he had managed to hold it all in for so long…
Another day we were returning from the theatre when he announced he had big plumbing pressure. Once again he was able to hold it in until we got home, this time taking a dump in the toilet properly. This was a great relief to me, as I was not really able to make a stop on the way home. On another day, after we visited his communication therapist we were driving to kindergarten and he said he needed to pee. I asked him to hold on until we reached the kindergarten but he refused, insisting that the needed it immediately. As uncomfortable as it was, I found a place to stop and Jonathan did not have to hold that in for too long, I bargained with him so that I could at least get the car out of the parking lot.
I think holding in liquids is just harder for him. Besides I really do think he finds it thrilling to pee outside. Thank God he is a toddler, or his habit of peeing (whenever he needs to and regardless of his location) near any tree on the side walk would have no real excuse. Honestly though, he is getting too old for this and soon we will have to restrain this behavior. I suppose that when we stop waking him up to pee once in the middle of the night, thus ensuring his bed remains dry, is when we should also start to insist that he hold on and use a toilet also for lighter requirements… Sharing his liquids with nature is not acceptable practice.
Still, I think Jonathan is lucky to be a boy, girls have it a lot harder…release in nature is just not so comfortable for females; I speak from experience after all…
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