A mother to a 20 year old will probably think my following statement is a joke – Jonathan is quite the little man, he is! At Almost three years of age he has become quite an independent and sometimes headstrong boy! The mother to the 20 year old will however totally agree with my second statement – boy! But how time flies (especially when you are having fun!).
Jonathan can no longer answer to the title of a toddler! He is a real boy. He is almost three years old (the big 3 is in two weeks actually) and already so grown!
It’s not just the fact that he is almost 1 meter tall, he has developed a unique personality and he is growing to understand his own worth. This especially comes out in his ever increasing show of independence – he wants to get things done by himself, without mommy’s help (unless he asks for it), he wants to be left alone (ordering me to go away when I bother him or interfere with him too much) and he takes his own decisions too. Puberty has never started this early… nah, just kidding! But the kids of today are definitely not the kids of yesterday… here are 5 examples of occurrences marking Jonathan’s ever increasing independence.
1 – Jonathan has taken to trying and helping me with the house work. He wants to help me with the washing, shoving all the dirty clothes into the machine (especially the ones he takes off before a bath). He wants to help me pour the soap for the machine and he is the one to turn it on after everything is ready. He also likes to clean the toilet with the special brush intended for it (ordering me to leave when I try to stop him) and he likes to wash the floors too, mop and all!
When it comes to his DVD’s, his clothes and his shoes, he will always keep things tidy – returning each DVD back to its box before playing another (did I mention he operates the DVD and video in our home and his grandmothers all by himself?) his shoes are always returned to their place at the entrance of our home. Its only his toys that are always thrown about in the enthusiasm of play and are never returned – we are however working to tiding up his toys at home, jus like he must do (and already does) in kindergarten.
I cannot complain in general as Jonathan is generally a good boy and obedient. He is also a fast learner and one to try and set things right. On more than one occasion, when something broke, and especially if Jonathan has cause the breaking or tearing, he reacts to the scolding with a sad and pitiful face and then immediately runs to our stationary drawer and fetched the sticky tape – so that the broken item can be fixed. With books and other papers the solution works nicely, and he must have gotten the idea from witnessing me taping up his torn books more than once, but it was especially cute to see how his thinking works when he brought me the tape after he has accidentally broken a CD trying to get it out of its box. My husband says Jonathan also brought him the tape to fix a torn item.
2 - To top it all off, yesterday Jonathan helped me cook for the first time. The elaborate dish was just pasta but nevertheless Jonathan stirred the water and past in the pot and stood on a chair watching as the pasta cooked. He then ate the pasta he cooked for dinner. He liked to pour his own drink, helping me prepare juice for him or even getting water quire independently from the dispenser in our fringe (one Saturday morning I found 4 plastic cups filled with cold water in our living room, and not a drop spilled on the way from the kitchen and the refrigerator to where the cups stood). In the kitchen department he also insists on making his own slice of bread with chocolate, applying a butter knife to the chocolate cream and spreading it on his bread. When I try to assist him in any of these tasks he always wants to do it alone – the word “me” has become the most used word of his vocabulary. But he will ask for help if he does not succeeded or if he feels he has taken on too much, thus we usually pour apple juice form the juice bottle into a cup or Jonathans drinking bottle together. Together is in fact probably his second most used word of his vocabulary. He still likes my company and wants me to join in on almost everything he does. Ordering me how to go about joining his games.
3 – As much as he likes to do things alone, he is very impatient and has a short interest span; if he does not succeed in his task quickly he will whine his frustration and call for my help. He is also very aware of my schedule. Only this week I came late from work and my mother was babysitting. Jonathan noticed that the evening’s chores (such as eat9ing, getting a bath and going to bed) were conducted without me. My mother said he started looking for me, and even though my husband called me and I spoke to Jonathan on the phone, my mother claims he still felt quite lost without me and kept wondering about the house, eventually only falling asleep in my bed.
4 – His dependence only goes so far. Sometimes he likes to have the house to himself. Two weeks ago I was so exhausted that I fell asleep in my room although Jonathan was not taking his nap and my husband was out. I rarely leave Jonathan like this, and he immediately took advantage of the situation by watching the Simpsons on DVD, fully knowing that when I am awake he is not allowed to watch it (at 3 years of age a bit to young for the Simpsons in my opinion). I found him out when I got up and scolded him. The nest day, on Saturday morning Jonathan came tip toeing into out bedroom. On Saturdays (and every day actually) Jonathan usually wakes us up. This time he peeked at us to make sure we were asleep (stretching his neck to get a good look…the works) and then he left us to “sleep” some more (un aware that I was awake and had seen him through semi closed eyes) and happily returned alone to the living room to watch the Simpsons yet again. I decided that such cunning at the age of 3 deserves a reward, and thus he got to watch the Simpsons for about 30minutes ad I got to nap for an additional, precious half an hour. I might have allowed him a longer period of time has I not heard noises that distinctly told me that Jonathan was trying to get to his favorite serials, which are placed on top of the refrigerator. Leaving him alone in this effort was simply too much for my maternal instincts and I finally (if somewhat regretfully) got up to help him.
5 - Climbing on a chair to get to some forbidden food is by now routine. But the chairs are getting higher and from the chair in the kitchen he is already moving freely onto the marble. This is how he reaches his chips snacks. As a child I used to get to things in the kitchen using the same methods, especially to dishes that were stacked in the higher cupboards. I am considering lowering Jonathan’s plates (his cups are already in a new and low location) to spare him the need to continue to climb all over my kitchen. He has also started climbing on the chest in his room to get to the cream on it, which he likes to apply to my tummy (always after I apply it to his face…).
It is sometimes hard to remember that Jonathan is still just a boy of three. That he still needs his mommy and daddy so much! With other babies being born around us (family and friends) he just seems so big! So grown! So independent! Every time he does something smart, that shows thinking and learning processes, my heart bursts with pride. He may only be just three years old, but my time is too short! Soon he will not listen to me anymore! Time does fly! Jonathan is still an only child, and he has my undivided attention. And we both need to make the most of it.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
A haircut
Since the first time we has lice in his kindergarten and also because of the hot summer, Jonathan has had his hair cut twice by our initiative and once at his own request.
I took Jonathan twice to cut his hair. The first time he moved and shook his head frantically and wanted only mommy and I has to hold him and the hair dresser has to work around and despite the shaking head (she was great! If anyone needs a haircut in Givatayim, Israel I am happy to recommend) and both I and the hair dresser got hair all over our clothes.
The second time was not so tragic. Jonathan enjoyed sitting on the chair, getting put up higher on it (for the hair dresser’s convenience) and he shook his head only a little when she actually started cutting. This time I remained clean.
My husband told me that he took Jonathan with him last week to the barber, because my husband wanted a haircut. After the barber was done my husband wanted to pay and leave, but then Jonathan sat on the chair of his own initiative and clearly shown everyone in the room that he too wants his hair cut - just like daddy. The barber agreed to cut his hair and so Jonathan got his third haircut. My husband reports the boy behaved impeccably!
I took Jonathan twice to cut his hair. The first time he moved and shook his head frantically and wanted only mommy and I has to hold him and the hair dresser has to work around and despite the shaking head (she was great! If anyone needs a haircut in Givatayim, Israel I am happy to recommend) and both I and the hair dresser got hair all over our clothes.
The second time was not so tragic. Jonathan enjoyed sitting on the chair, getting put up higher on it (for the hair dresser’s convenience) and he shook his head only a little when she actually started cutting. This time I remained clean.
My husband told me that he took Jonathan with him last week to the barber, because my husband wanted a haircut. After the barber was done my husband wanted to pay and leave, but then Jonathan sat on the chair of his own initiative and clearly shown everyone in the room that he too wants his hair cut - just like daddy. The barber agreed to cut his hair and so Jonathan got his third haircut. My husband reports the boy behaved impeccably!
Learning and Logic
Jonathan is improving daily in his ability to learn by heart and remember. It’s really amazing to see his cognitive abilities and his logic developing. Weather he tells me a story, sings a song or recognizes letters the magic is a combination of seeing him improve as well as witnessing his true enjoyment in his discoveries and achievements.
Watching Jonathan at the playground is pure joy. He improves and climbs higher each time. He is strong and his movements become smoother, so I have nothing to fear. He demands my attention because he likes that I climb and play with him – I never was the kind of mom to sit down in a playground. We were enjoying a break on the swings when a woman began to rock a baby nearby and to sing to it. Jonathan simply joined her in song. He sings the tune correctly and gets a lot of the sounds even if he does not get the words.
He demonstrated the same”sing song” and learning by heart by “reading” a story to me at bedtime. He took the book, recognized the picture and the scene represented in it and he started telling me the story instead of my reading it to him.
Jonathan’s reading ability is even more amazing, he recognizes letters on a keyboard. He has a DVD disk that entails the Hebrew alphabet and each letter is represented with some and cute characters. He looked at my laptop, pointed to 3 certain letters and sang the correct song from the DVD to match each letter. I am certain that if I thought him the letters names he would get them to in a short while. Although his speech has much to be desired for his age, he is able to naturally switch from Hebrew to German, depending to which parent he is talking and his vocabulary in both languages is growing, so we are not concerned. After all children growing up with two languages have twice as much information to learn. So in an “absolute” number of words, Jonathan is doing well. It’s nice to see him switch the languages so naturally, it would seam he has inherited his mothers talent.
His love of music and DVD takes the boy also to higher cultural themes – such as the Disney cartoon of “Peter and the Wolf”. Jonathan loves the short film and the music (original Prokofiev). Recently he has taken to singing the tunes (he especially loves the wolf and the bird) and as he sings he walks like the character – arms high to enlarge himself and teeth bared for the wolf and hopping about and waving with his hands for the bird. As he sings these classical tunes in the street I am proud to be walking by such a cultural little boy… not that I can walk for long – he wants me to join in the game and soon I am singing and walking like a wolf too.
His love of animals has not abated and he loves to recognize them and make sounds. He can do so in Hebrew and German very well. To card pictures, books and coloring pages we have now added the computer, Yep! My boy has joined the multimedia generation. All kindergartens support a computer today. He already holds the mouse correctly and delicately, as if born to it. The keyboard is another story – he just bangs it and waits to see which key will make the computer do something. The children’s games are based on lack of keyboard knowledge and so Jonathan can switch between animal cartoons and make animal sounds in front of the screen, banging at the keyboard to his heart’s content. I dedicated an old computer and an old keyboard to his use, so I am speared the heartache of seeing good equipment ruined and abuse by children.
The bad side of Jonathan’s cognitive improvement is the fact that I can no longer make him happy as easily. If it as once relatively easy to turn his interest to something else when crying, to distract him or to even bribe him in order to achieve a certain point, it is now harder. He is more independent, harder to stop or control when he wishes something (he just gets a chair, opens the freezer, positions the chair and takes the ice cream, so putting it higher up is not longer as effective, or he just turns on the TV and puts a DVD for himself with no need of assistance, like in the past) and the negotiation with him for his attention and obedience is becoming more sophisticated. He is also regretfully learning to throw a tantrum. This feature was simply not in his arsenal when he was smaller and now going to bed is a fight because the combination of not getting his will (to continue watching "The Simpsons" – his favorite new DVD series) and being literally exhausted simply brings out the worst of tantrums. The bottle is in many ways still our savior because it calms him down – so even though he never needed a pacifier he is “pushing 3 years of age” I am hanging on to the baby bottles as a mean of pacifying him. I am not concerned with this because I like to drink form a water bottle even today and the way I see it eventually we will simply change his bottles to more grown up formats. Until then, he may continue to enjoy the privilege of suckling on a baby bottle and I get relative peace and quiet.
But I must end on a positive note. His memory is also improving and Jonathan is showing very sweet connections between things. I recently changed the carton in which his DVD’s are placed. The older carton was just too small and tearing at the edges. The older carton however found a new destiny. Jonathan is being potty trained. He wears diapers only at nights and underwear in the day time. He has gotten the part of peeing in a “small toilet” chair like potty, but the bulkier stuff he still does in his pants… As he likes to choose which diaper to wear every night (selecting them according to animal images Pampers pit on the front), I opened the package and placed the diapers in the carton that used to be the DVD carton. Today, Jonathan recognized the old box and immediately emptied it of the diapers and took it back to the living room and returned all the DVD’s into their “right” box- tidying up, correcting the mistaken use of the box (he is a boy who likes his things in their place and remembers where to find them). It was nice to see that even though the new arrangement is already a few days old, he remembers the old box correctly. I later returned things back to their new place and I hope he will accept the new order.
His manners are those of a natural German. He always says “thank you” when you give him something and “please” when he gives you something (which is the Hebrew way of saying you are welcome to what ever it is that is being given you) nicely. He forgets to say “please” when asking for something because he is still demanding, but that we trust will improve with time. The kindergarten teachers say he is always putting things nicely away, that he is sweet tempered and obedient and even I have heard him say “bless you” to me when I sneeze of cough in his presence. To sum it up – everyone agrees he is just a cute little boy! A sweety!
Watching Jonathan at the playground is pure joy. He improves and climbs higher each time. He is strong and his movements become smoother, so I have nothing to fear. He demands my attention because he likes that I climb and play with him – I never was the kind of mom to sit down in a playground. We were enjoying a break on the swings when a woman began to rock a baby nearby and to sing to it. Jonathan simply joined her in song. He sings the tune correctly and gets a lot of the sounds even if he does not get the words.
He demonstrated the same”sing song” and learning by heart by “reading” a story to me at bedtime. He took the book, recognized the picture and the scene represented in it and he started telling me the story instead of my reading it to him.
Jonathan’s reading ability is even more amazing, he recognizes letters on a keyboard. He has a DVD disk that entails the Hebrew alphabet and each letter is represented with some and cute characters. He looked at my laptop, pointed to 3 certain letters and sang the correct song from the DVD to match each letter. I am certain that if I thought him the letters names he would get them to in a short while. Although his speech has much to be desired for his age, he is able to naturally switch from Hebrew to German, depending to which parent he is talking and his vocabulary in both languages is growing, so we are not concerned. After all children growing up with two languages have twice as much information to learn. So in an “absolute” number of words, Jonathan is doing well. It’s nice to see him switch the languages so naturally, it would seam he has inherited his mothers talent.
His love of music and DVD takes the boy also to higher cultural themes – such as the Disney cartoon of “Peter and the Wolf”. Jonathan loves the short film and the music (original Prokofiev). Recently he has taken to singing the tunes (he especially loves the wolf and the bird) and as he sings he walks like the character – arms high to enlarge himself and teeth bared for the wolf and hopping about and waving with his hands for the bird. As he sings these classical tunes in the street I am proud to be walking by such a cultural little boy… not that I can walk for long – he wants me to join in the game and soon I am singing and walking like a wolf too.
His love of animals has not abated and he loves to recognize them and make sounds. He can do so in Hebrew and German very well. To card pictures, books and coloring pages we have now added the computer, Yep! My boy has joined the multimedia generation. All kindergartens support a computer today. He already holds the mouse correctly and delicately, as if born to it. The keyboard is another story – he just bangs it and waits to see which key will make the computer do something. The children’s games are based on lack of keyboard knowledge and so Jonathan can switch between animal cartoons and make animal sounds in front of the screen, banging at the keyboard to his heart’s content. I dedicated an old computer and an old keyboard to his use, so I am speared the heartache of seeing good equipment ruined and abuse by children.
The bad side of Jonathan’s cognitive improvement is the fact that I can no longer make him happy as easily. If it as once relatively easy to turn his interest to something else when crying, to distract him or to even bribe him in order to achieve a certain point, it is now harder. He is more independent, harder to stop or control when he wishes something (he just gets a chair, opens the freezer, positions the chair and takes the ice cream, so putting it higher up is not longer as effective, or he just turns on the TV and puts a DVD for himself with no need of assistance, like in the past) and the negotiation with him for his attention and obedience is becoming more sophisticated. He is also regretfully learning to throw a tantrum. This feature was simply not in his arsenal when he was smaller and now going to bed is a fight because the combination of not getting his will (to continue watching "The Simpsons" – his favorite new DVD series) and being literally exhausted simply brings out the worst of tantrums. The bottle is in many ways still our savior because it calms him down – so even though he never needed a pacifier he is “pushing 3 years of age” I am hanging on to the baby bottles as a mean of pacifying him. I am not concerned with this because I like to drink form a water bottle even today and the way I see it eventually we will simply change his bottles to more grown up formats. Until then, he may continue to enjoy the privilege of suckling on a baby bottle and I get relative peace and quiet.
But I must end on a positive note. His memory is also improving and Jonathan is showing very sweet connections between things. I recently changed the carton in which his DVD’s are placed. The older carton was just too small and tearing at the edges. The older carton however found a new destiny. Jonathan is being potty trained. He wears diapers only at nights and underwear in the day time. He has gotten the part of peeing in a “small toilet” chair like potty, but the bulkier stuff he still does in his pants… As he likes to choose which diaper to wear every night (selecting them according to animal images Pampers pit on the front), I opened the package and placed the diapers in the carton that used to be the DVD carton. Today, Jonathan recognized the old box and immediately emptied it of the diapers and took it back to the living room and returned all the DVD’s into their “right” box- tidying up, correcting the mistaken use of the box (he is a boy who likes his things in their place and remembers where to find them). It was nice to see that even though the new arrangement is already a few days old, he remembers the old box correctly. I later returned things back to their new place and I hope he will accept the new order.
His manners are those of a natural German. He always says “thank you” when you give him something and “please” when he gives you something (which is the Hebrew way of saying you are welcome to what ever it is that is being given you) nicely. He forgets to say “please” when asking for something because he is still demanding, but that we trust will improve with time. The kindergarten teachers say he is always putting things nicely away, that he is sweet tempered and obedient and even I have heard him say “bless you” to me when I sneeze of cough in his presence. To sum it up – everyone agrees he is just a cute little boy! A sweety!
Monday, June 14, 2010
New Vocabulary
Jonathan is a bit behind on his speech if you ask the doctors, we even went through some hearing tests with him and he refuse to articulate one verb in the children nurse’s presence. Still he clearly learns new things every day.
We are at the stage that he imitates words I say – even if not exactly – and he even corrects himself if I repeat the words often and slowly enough, thus insisting on having a response from him, while also training his hearing to the correct articulation. He also can answer in Hebrew regarding a matter being discussed in German in his presence, or the opposite (does not happen often). He knows that mommy talks in one language (Hebrew) and that a conversation with daddy is conducted in another language (German). He clearly uses the suitable language at the right occasion.
When he is counting he likes to switch between the two languages for fun. He knows how to count to ten in both languages. It’s a game in which he says one number, I the next and then he says the following number and so on. If he switches languages during such a counting session, so do I. He is always leading, and I am responding.
He invents songs to suit his purpose. For example, he says the blessing for food, which he has been taught in kindergarten, changing the sentence that specifies what is being eaten. This is his way of requesting a particular item for his dinner. Sometimes he just changes the words of a beloved tune because his thoughts are preoccupied with something else. This is why he recently has been seen repeating sing the word “balloon” again and again to the tune of a simple nursery rhyme. Singing is also a great way to get my attention, because he knows I will smile and nod at his song and even join in, singing the words with him or dancing the steps as the song requires.
As Jonathan has to cope with two languages he may be indeed a little behind in his use of each one. Only recently did he start using verbs in a direct form (not infinitive). His first full sentence was “I want a hug”! Oh boy! Did he get a hug that day! You bet! Other speech pearls include: No way!” (in Hebrew: lo, ma pitom), come play (boi lesachek), encouraging words (kadima!), self congratulations (kol hakavod, or just hakavod or the latest addition “mezuyan” for well done!) while clapping his hands together, clear requests (saying, crying or screaming the word please – tone dependant on situation), saying thank you every time you give him something (“toda raba” in Hebrew to mommy and “danke” to daddy)- my boy is very polite! Just last weekend he made a request communicating a series of actions that was to bring him towards his target. He showed me that we need to leave the house and use the car to get to grandma (he generally connect the car with the drive to my parent’s home).
With a combination of actions and words he communicates what he needs. He uses simple means but he gets the message through. Pointing to my shoes and even taking them off is a signal that I have come home, must stay and relax. He likes to do this when I return from work, so show me his wish that I now stay home (with him). His negotiation skills are also becoming more varied, as his vocabulary increases. His first negotiation skill was to use tears, trying to wail me into giving him what he wants. Now he tries to get things in small doses, working on the concept of many small additions will eventually amount to some volume. Thus the expressions “just one more” or “the very last one” (in Hebrew “acharon chaviv”), “another one? Yes?” )in Hebrew “od echad, ken?” and “is that OK? (beseder?) are becoming more frequent.
I will give him lets say one balloon, then he requests another and I refuse. He insists, wailing and not letting go of the subject until I agree to one more. He takes it and then works on the nest one, just one more, he tries, last one. Yes? or maybe he will attack with “the very very last one, OK? It takes a woman made of iron to refuse such cute requests, all the more so when he so politely adds, please (bevakasha balon) and then says “thank you very much” (toda raba) so nicely once he is given what is was (the balloon) that he requested.
We are at the stage that he imitates words I say – even if not exactly – and he even corrects himself if I repeat the words often and slowly enough, thus insisting on having a response from him, while also training his hearing to the correct articulation. He also can answer in Hebrew regarding a matter being discussed in German in his presence, or the opposite (does not happen often). He knows that mommy talks in one language (Hebrew) and that a conversation with daddy is conducted in another language (German). He clearly uses the suitable language at the right occasion.
When he is counting he likes to switch between the two languages for fun. He knows how to count to ten in both languages. It’s a game in which he says one number, I the next and then he says the following number and so on. If he switches languages during such a counting session, so do I. He is always leading, and I am responding.
He invents songs to suit his purpose. For example, he says the blessing for food, which he has been taught in kindergarten, changing the sentence that specifies what is being eaten. This is his way of requesting a particular item for his dinner. Sometimes he just changes the words of a beloved tune because his thoughts are preoccupied with something else. This is why he recently has been seen repeating sing the word “balloon” again and again to the tune of a simple nursery rhyme. Singing is also a great way to get my attention, because he knows I will smile and nod at his song and even join in, singing the words with him or dancing the steps as the song requires.
As Jonathan has to cope with two languages he may be indeed a little behind in his use of each one. Only recently did he start using verbs in a direct form (not infinitive). His first full sentence was “I want a hug”! Oh boy! Did he get a hug that day! You bet! Other speech pearls include: No way!” (in Hebrew: lo, ma pitom), come play (boi lesachek), encouraging words (kadima!), self congratulations (kol hakavod, or just hakavod or the latest addition “mezuyan” for well done!) while clapping his hands together, clear requests (saying, crying or screaming the word please – tone dependant on situation), saying thank you every time you give him something (“toda raba” in Hebrew to mommy and “danke” to daddy)- my boy is very polite! Just last weekend he made a request communicating a series of actions that was to bring him towards his target. He showed me that we need to leave the house and use the car to get to grandma (he generally connect the car with the drive to my parent’s home).
With a combination of actions and words he communicates what he needs. He uses simple means but he gets the message through. Pointing to my shoes and even taking them off is a signal that I have come home, must stay and relax. He likes to do this when I return from work, so show me his wish that I now stay home (with him). His negotiation skills are also becoming more varied, as his vocabulary increases. His first negotiation skill was to use tears, trying to wail me into giving him what he wants. Now he tries to get things in small doses, working on the concept of many small additions will eventually amount to some volume. Thus the expressions “just one more” or “the very last one” (in Hebrew “acharon chaviv”), “another one? Yes?” )in Hebrew “od echad, ken?” and “is that OK? (beseder?) are becoming more frequent.
I will give him lets say one balloon, then he requests another and I refuse. He insists, wailing and not letting go of the subject until I agree to one more. He takes it and then works on the nest one, just one more, he tries, last one. Yes? or maybe he will attack with “the very very last one, OK? It takes a woman made of iron to refuse such cute requests, all the more so when he so politely adds, please (bevakasha balon) and then says “thank you very much” (toda raba) so nicely once he is given what is was (the balloon) that he requested.
The Era of “I”
Jonathan has reached the golden age of “I”. He must do everything himself, or complain heavily when it’s not possible. This leaves me with three probable scenarios: he really does it alone; we do it together or tears.
The precious combination of words “only me” (spoken in Hebrew with left our consonants – something like “onnimi” in English) are now Jonathan’s bread and butter. He has reached an age in which he constantly wants to exercise his independence, and not only that – he enjoys expressing his wish to do so.
As his mother, I want o encourage this independence, to give him a chance to try things out and yet, I walk the thin line of not going totally nuts every time he spills chocolate (very hard to remove stain) on a white shirt, tosses sand all over the house in an effort to remove his shoes himself and spilling soup just because you were trying to help him prevent the spill at the wrong moment. According to the rate he has been moving his books around the house (a whole pile by himself!) he could easily develop a career in moving. And the amounts of chocolate powder that he has spilled in the effort to make his own drink can probably feed a brood of needy children.
Another sensitive point is time lost due to the many little delays caused by the fact that my little big man want to do it all himself! The mothers among you will surely remember the scene of having the house door you just opened (in order to leave) being shut ruthlessly (in your face?) and the piping voice of your little tyrant commanding you “no mama, onnimi!” This can be even more annoying when you are especially in a hurry. Just when you really need to go out of the house, he will of course absolutely refuse to put on a shirt because you are the one who took it out of the closet. Oh, he also select his diaper (he wants the elephant and not the bear – makes you wonder why Pampers have put different animals on the diapers… Huggies at least all have the same design – Disney’s Winnie the Poo) – but selecting it is not enough – he wants to take it out of the pack and even put is on himself! Do you really always have time for this ceremony?
Every small action becomes a point of discussion. You either let him do it alone, you negotiate the option of doing something together or you brace yourself for tears. The tears will also come when he does not succeed in taking action independently. In order to avoid the tears and to get things done in reasonable time span you need to find a way to assist him in a way that he will either accept (together is better) or not notice.
The only time he does not want to do things himself, is when he can order you around. Who needs dolls or puppets when mommy is the best marionette that has ever been produced! “Mommy, chocho!” When he wants another chocolate drink brought to him because you already sent him to bed. Or screeching an items name because it fell behind the sofa while the little emperor was playing with it. And then just when you have bent down to get it, he shows initiative again and wants to help you get it, but kneeling down next to you. Such sweet encouragement is reward enough…
Your negotiation skills need to be polished. A talking toddler is an arguing toddler. Suddenly you find yourself needing to explain to your strapping boy why one needs to go to bed, or take a bath. You might even get a logically correct or even a reasonable reply that will show you that your reasoning is at fault – and indeed it is not yet time to go to bed because something else needs to be done first. The toddler’s negotiation skills and manipulation skills are fast growing, just like the nervous connections that are created daily in his brain.
A mother is even rewarded when her little independent boy scolds her: it really does not matter what it is they do not want you to do – it’s so sweet to hear “no, no mama- forbidden! Stop!” for the first time (waving a warning finger at you too), you almost forget what it was you wanted them to do before you were so skillfully scolded. As it is done with such simple means, you must applaud the performance – all the more so, because if you did not have the sense of humor to do so, you would indeed go nuts. You know you have been out-maneuvered again, but at least you can go down smiling.
The precious combination of words “only me” (spoken in Hebrew with left our consonants – something like “onnimi” in English) are now Jonathan’s bread and butter. He has reached an age in which he constantly wants to exercise his independence, and not only that – he enjoys expressing his wish to do so.
As his mother, I want o encourage this independence, to give him a chance to try things out and yet, I walk the thin line of not going totally nuts every time he spills chocolate (very hard to remove stain) on a white shirt, tosses sand all over the house in an effort to remove his shoes himself and spilling soup just because you were trying to help him prevent the spill at the wrong moment. According to the rate he has been moving his books around the house (a whole pile by himself!) he could easily develop a career in moving. And the amounts of chocolate powder that he has spilled in the effort to make his own drink can probably feed a brood of needy children.
Another sensitive point is time lost due to the many little delays caused by the fact that my little big man want to do it all himself! The mothers among you will surely remember the scene of having the house door you just opened (in order to leave) being shut ruthlessly (in your face?) and the piping voice of your little tyrant commanding you “no mama, onnimi!” This can be even more annoying when you are especially in a hurry. Just when you really need to go out of the house, he will of course absolutely refuse to put on a shirt because you are the one who took it out of the closet. Oh, he also select his diaper (he wants the elephant and not the bear – makes you wonder why Pampers have put different animals on the diapers… Huggies at least all have the same design – Disney’s Winnie the Poo) – but selecting it is not enough – he wants to take it out of the pack and even put is on himself! Do you really always have time for this ceremony?
Every small action becomes a point of discussion. You either let him do it alone, you negotiate the option of doing something together or you brace yourself for tears. The tears will also come when he does not succeed in taking action independently. In order to avoid the tears and to get things done in reasonable time span you need to find a way to assist him in a way that he will either accept (together is better) or not notice.
The only time he does not want to do things himself, is when he can order you around. Who needs dolls or puppets when mommy is the best marionette that has ever been produced! “Mommy, chocho!” When he wants another chocolate drink brought to him because you already sent him to bed. Or screeching an items name because it fell behind the sofa while the little emperor was playing with it. And then just when you have bent down to get it, he shows initiative again and wants to help you get it, but kneeling down next to you. Such sweet encouragement is reward enough…
Your negotiation skills need to be polished. A talking toddler is an arguing toddler. Suddenly you find yourself needing to explain to your strapping boy why one needs to go to bed, or take a bath. You might even get a logically correct or even a reasonable reply that will show you that your reasoning is at fault – and indeed it is not yet time to go to bed because something else needs to be done first. The toddler’s negotiation skills and manipulation skills are fast growing, just like the nervous connections that are created daily in his brain.
A mother is even rewarded when her little independent boy scolds her: it really does not matter what it is they do not want you to do – it’s so sweet to hear “no, no mama- forbidden! Stop!” for the first time (waving a warning finger at you too), you almost forget what it was you wanted them to do before you were so skillfully scolded. As it is done with such simple means, you must applaud the performance – all the more so, because if you did not have the sense of humor to do so, you would indeed go nuts. You know you have been out-maneuvered again, but at least you can go down smiling.
A Birthday Party for Mommy
A birthday party for mommy is an occasion to find out exactly how much Jonathan’s has learned about this cause for celebration in Kindergarten. At the beginning of the year, when he was 2 years old he still did not quite get it, but 6 months later, approaching my own birthday and understanding how important this theme has become to him, I invite the family to celebrate my birthday over coffee and cake, with candles of course…
When Jonathan sings a happy birthday” song, he usually sings it for himself. “Happy birthday to Jonathan, happy birthday to you!”. There is no reasoning with him. It can only be his birthday! He is the center of his little world. The fact that it is my birthday that triggers the party is irrelevant. No matter! He sings for himself. And if I am honest, I am celebrating with family guests for Jonathan rather than for myself. It might as well be indeed his birthday.
I put the candles in the cake and he is disappointed when I do not allow him to take them out. Then I light them and he is exited, forgetting his disappointment in the expectation of blowing them out. We all sing aloud and then count to three for blowing up the candles – the ladies among us pretending, rather than blowing air. My brother in law however thinks Jonathan needs help blowing out the candles and so he blows hard and blows them out. Poor Jonathan was so disappointed! He starts to cry! And all the mothers in the room (grandmothers included) turn to scold my poor brother in law for his lack of under standing. So we light the candles again and this time Jonathan gets to first enjoy the flames (interesting stuff! But he knows he may not get too close) and then he blows them out all by himself!
After the candles have been blown out, Jonathan proves that he understands good manners and hospitality. He goes around serving people cake like a proud peacock showing his tail. He receives the pieces of cake form me served in plastic plates and he offers them to the guests, distributing cake until all have gotten a piece and only then does he take a piece for himself.
For a whole week afterwords, he wants to put candles on the remains of the cake himself, and then light them and blow them out each morning. He knows where to find birthday candles in the cupboard in the kitchen and eventually does mind lighting them even without the cake (it is eaten after a few days). After about a week, he looses interest in the candle lighting ceremony – but the birthday songs keep coming up. If he is singing one of them, I know that yet another child has had his birthday celebrated in kindergarten. If Jonathan also turns up with a small gift, I can be 100% sure that this is the case. I am only left to hope, that now that he grasps the concept of the party and what fun a birthday party can be that he will enjoy his 3rd birthday celebration (in kindergarten and at home) much more than last year.
When Jonathan sings a happy birthday” song, he usually sings it for himself. “Happy birthday to Jonathan, happy birthday to you!”. There is no reasoning with him. It can only be his birthday! He is the center of his little world. The fact that it is my birthday that triggers the party is irrelevant. No matter! He sings for himself. And if I am honest, I am celebrating with family guests for Jonathan rather than for myself. It might as well be indeed his birthday.
I put the candles in the cake and he is disappointed when I do not allow him to take them out. Then I light them and he is exited, forgetting his disappointment in the expectation of blowing them out. We all sing aloud and then count to three for blowing up the candles – the ladies among us pretending, rather than blowing air. My brother in law however thinks Jonathan needs help blowing out the candles and so he blows hard and blows them out. Poor Jonathan was so disappointed! He starts to cry! And all the mothers in the room (grandmothers included) turn to scold my poor brother in law for his lack of under standing. So we light the candles again and this time Jonathan gets to first enjoy the flames (interesting stuff! But he knows he may not get too close) and then he blows them out all by himself!
After the candles have been blown out, Jonathan proves that he understands good manners and hospitality. He goes around serving people cake like a proud peacock showing his tail. He receives the pieces of cake form me served in plastic plates and he offers them to the guests, distributing cake until all have gotten a piece and only then does he take a piece for himself.
For a whole week afterwords, he wants to put candles on the remains of the cake himself, and then light them and blow them out each morning. He knows where to find birthday candles in the cupboard in the kitchen and eventually does mind lighting them even without the cake (it is eaten after a few days). After about a week, he looses interest in the candle lighting ceremony – but the birthday songs keep coming up. If he is singing one of them, I know that yet another child has had his birthday celebrated in kindergarten. If Jonathan also turns up with a small gift, I can be 100% sure that this is the case. I am only left to hope, that now that he grasps the concept of the party and what fun a birthday party can be that he will enjoy his 3rd birthday celebration (in kindergarten and at home) much more than last year.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Social Skills
Jonathan is giving good reason to write a lot of entires lately – well , what can I do when he is just being his adorable self! Today, two incidents have shown me that Jonathan's social skills are developing and his awareness as well as his good intentions are developing toward the ones he loves, namely his mommy and his family.
The first incident was Jonathan showing that he truly cares about his mommy, and that he is also learning from me too. He invited me to stand up “on one leg” with him this morning.
Its a sort of a game, and today we played together for the first time. The aim of the game is to stand on one leg, try to keep balance as long as its amusing for Jonathan and then fall spectacularly on the floor – the bigger the show the more fun it is for my sunny son. As we were standing together on one leg, Jonathan told me to be careful, and then we both fell down, landing on the carpet, laughing. This repeated itself three times until I decided to end the game because of the arrival of guests. This game was especially heart warming because not only did Jonathan invite me to share in his fun, he also looked out for me and told me to be careful during the game.
I was so proud of him! For a two year old (OK, 27 months) I think this is also showing a responsibility level that is very encouraging. Together with the fact that Jonathan knows by now to stop before a road, I am starting to see the fruit of some hard lessons I am trying to teach him and messages I have been drilling to him almost from birth are finally sinking in.
I have seen him stand on one leg before and always told him to be careful so he would not fall when he did this. I have already stood on one leg for my son's amusement (pretending to loose balance of course, with lots of ohhhh's, and ahhhhggg's! Much to my son's content).But this is the first time we are standing on one leg together, balancing together and falling down together amid shouts of laughter from us both. Boy! Did we have fun!.
The second incident involves my niece. My sister and her husband left their little daughter who is about 6 months old with me for a few hours this morning. Jonathan was very ambivalent to his little cousin at first (great improvement to a few months ago when she first entered his life and he was jealous every time I held my niece in my arms) but then he began to show more interest. He stroked her head more than one time, even without me instructing him to do it. Once I gave him the idea, he chose to express his affection spontaneously a few times. The height of his interest in his young guest was when he offered to sit his niece in his toy stroller. The offer was a natural reaction to the fact that the baby was wining a bit, besides if the baby is in the stroller it means that she is no longer in my arms – another advantage for Jonathan of course. (But I really think he had no agenda, because he did not immediately take her place in my arms when they became free).
Jonathan has a pink stroller he borrowed from another cousin. He loves to drive it around our apartment and also be driven in it. This is why I know the toy could hold my niece in safety and so I cooperated with Jonathan and accepted his offer to sit the baby in the stroller (after he repeated it a second time). As the little girl seamed to like it, I allowed Jonathan to rock the stroller to and fro, and we sang a lullaby together. Curiously enough, the baby calmed down in the stroller. After a while, however, Jonathan decided enough is enough and ordered that the baby be removed from his stroller. After he repeated this wish twice and also because the stroller is not really a good place for a real baby, it is after all just a toy meant for dolls (the regular passenger is an Erny from Sesame Street doll), I removed the baby from the stroller and Jonathan was allowed to have his toy to himself again. The baby was however not so pleased an it took me quite a while to calm her down again.
She finally fell asleep in my arms and then Jonathan sat on the other side and leaned into me on the other side and we all sat down on the couch and cuddled together (watching a children's DVD). It was really one of the best moments of my life! Squashed between my sweet boy and his cute cousin I felt almost complete. There is really nothing more pure and pleasurable that the touch of children – who give their love to you free of all restraint (even if unintentionally as babies). Although Jonathan was probably a bit frustrated at times that I had relatively little time for him this morning, he seamed to enjoy the presence of his cousin to some extent – a good sign for what it might be like when he gets a sibling...
The first incident was Jonathan showing that he truly cares about his mommy, and that he is also learning from me too. He invited me to stand up “on one leg” with him this morning.
Its a sort of a game, and today we played together for the first time. The aim of the game is to stand on one leg, try to keep balance as long as its amusing for Jonathan and then fall spectacularly on the floor – the bigger the show the more fun it is for my sunny son. As we were standing together on one leg, Jonathan told me to be careful, and then we both fell down, landing on the carpet, laughing. This repeated itself three times until I decided to end the game because of the arrival of guests. This game was especially heart warming because not only did Jonathan invite me to share in his fun, he also looked out for me and told me to be careful during the game.
I was so proud of him! For a two year old (OK, 27 months) I think this is also showing a responsibility level that is very encouraging. Together with the fact that Jonathan knows by now to stop before a road, I am starting to see the fruit of some hard lessons I am trying to teach him and messages I have been drilling to him almost from birth are finally sinking in.
I have seen him stand on one leg before and always told him to be careful so he would not fall when he did this. I have already stood on one leg for my son's amusement (pretending to loose balance of course, with lots of ohhhh's, and ahhhhggg's! Much to my son's content).But this is the first time we are standing on one leg together, balancing together and falling down together amid shouts of laughter from us both. Boy! Did we have fun!.
The second incident involves my niece. My sister and her husband left their little daughter who is about 6 months old with me for a few hours this morning. Jonathan was very ambivalent to his little cousin at first (great improvement to a few months ago when she first entered his life and he was jealous every time I held my niece in my arms) but then he began to show more interest. He stroked her head more than one time, even without me instructing him to do it. Once I gave him the idea, he chose to express his affection spontaneously a few times. The height of his interest in his young guest was when he offered to sit his niece in his toy stroller. The offer was a natural reaction to the fact that the baby was wining a bit, besides if the baby is in the stroller it means that she is no longer in my arms – another advantage for Jonathan of course. (But I really think he had no agenda, because he did not immediately take her place in my arms when they became free).
Jonathan has a pink stroller he borrowed from another cousin. He loves to drive it around our apartment and also be driven in it. This is why I know the toy could hold my niece in safety and so I cooperated with Jonathan and accepted his offer to sit the baby in the stroller (after he repeated it a second time). As the little girl seamed to like it, I allowed Jonathan to rock the stroller to and fro, and we sang a lullaby together. Curiously enough, the baby calmed down in the stroller. After a while, however, Jonathan decided enough is enough and ordered that the baby be removed from his stroller. After he repeated this wish twice and also because the stroller is not really a good place for a real baby, it is after all just a toy meant for dolls (the regular passenger is an Erny from Sesame Street doll), I removed the baby from the stroller and Jonathan was allowed to have his toy to himself again. The baby was however not so pleased an it took me quite a while to calm her down again.
She finally fell asleep in my arms and then Jonathan sat on the other side and leaned into me on the other side and we all sat down on the couch and cuddled together (watching a children's DVD). It was really one of the best moments of my life! Squashed between my sweet boy and his cute cousin I felt almost complete. There is really nothing more pure and pleasurable that the touch of children – who give their love to you free of all restraint (even if unintentionally as babies). Although Jonathan was probably a bit frustrated at times that I had relatively little time for him this morning, he seamed to enjoy the presence of his cousin to some extent – a good sign for what it might be like when he gets a sibling...
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