Every parent has many moments of joy and laughter with their children. Every toddler does these really sweet things. Yet each child has in stock some magical surprise for his/ her parents. And when you stand there, watching your toddler do that little something that takes your breath away – the joy of parenthood is complete!
Especially in the age (about two years to two and a half years of age – Jonathan's age now) in which toddlers still do not speak perfectly and communication is hard – it is most amazing to see how much they learn – always. Children are like a sponge, so the books say, and it is these special “great moments of learning ” that show us how true that saying is. I experienced three of these with Jonathan today and I am happy to utilize my 101st blog entry by sharing them with you.
The first moment of learning was that when Jonathan got up today, he walked alone to the bathroom, placed his toilet seat on the toilet, removed his diaper and sat himself on the toilet and then did both “big” and “small”. This is not the first time Jonathan uses the toilet, and we are however also very far from the end of his “potty training” and yet this routine like “getting up and going to the toilet first thing” was simply so very cute! He later balanced this perfect record by peeing 4 times in one hour in the living room in the afternoon and totally refusing to go to the toilet in order to pee, but also refusing to put on a diaper again. One of the kindergarten teachers said to me that not only the toddler must be ready for “potty training”, but also the parents. Parents must be ready to face the challenges of cleaning after “mistakes” that may occur any place. After chasing Jonathan off the couch today, I have a more complete understanding what she meant. Yes, potty training is also difficult for the parents not only challenging for the child.
The second great learning moment of the day was that Jonathan insisted on putting in a washing machine. To be more exact, he wanted me to open the cupboard in which the washing soap is. He likes the giant bottle that houses the softener. I explained he needs something to wash in order to use the soap – so he helped me fill in the washing machine. Then he helped me close it and pour in the various soaps - last but not last the softener, and then he turned the machine on.
The third and especially magical moment entails the fact that I found Jonathan this afternoon in the kitchen, standing on a chair near the sink. Then he took the sponge and put soap on it, turned the tap on and was trying to wash the dishes. He did this alone, I was not in the kitchen, and we have never discussed dishes before. This is a totally “self learning” action. Learning by watching mom wash the dishes every day. More is the pity that it did not occur to me to run and get my camera to record my new and oh so cute “dishwasher”.
I asked him what he wants and why is he washing the dishes, Jonathan said he wanted juice to drink. It also looked like he was enjoying playing with the running water. For the reason of saving water (Israel is a hot land, we need every drop) I stopped the dish washing charade (hence no camera...) and explained that water is not a game. Then Jonathan assisted me in preparing his juice – he remained standing on the chair and helped me pour apple syrup into his drinking bottle. And that was the end of today's kitchen performance. It was also the last of the day's magical moments, as I spent the rest of the day cleaning puddles of pee (my husband calling for me in panic every time a “great peeing moment” occurred), rolling up the carpets (despite Jonathan efforts that they remain where they are) and arguing with an obstinate “toilet refusing” little boy.
Yes! If you have not yet guessed – we are on the first trails of the potty training process. But potty training is not all bad, even in the hardest moments, one finds a sense of fun. Both Jonathan and I were laughing when I chased him through the living room in order to clean him up (after he made a big doo doo in his pants) and to prevent his smearing poo on the couch. He got a bit smeared despite my efforts (how fast can a poo chasing mommy move?) but the good news is, the couch fabric is easily cleaned! As we face the challenge of teaching our first born to use the toilet and control his bowels, its nice to know that our furniture is inexpensive and that it cleans easily...
Friday, March 12, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Singing in the Rain
The movie “singing in the rain” has a lovely scene about voice mimicking in early cinema history. Jonathan is in some ways a mimicking machine. He imitates many things I do (even bad habits) and repeats many words, even if not exactly right. And why am I writing about his? Because he looks sooo cute walking in the rain with an umbrella... almost reminds me of Gene Kelly...
See for yourselves (armed with his bottle – typical Jonathan; captured in mommy's mobile phone – and since then I have a camera in my bag). I only showed him how to use an umbrella once, and yet when push came to shove and he needed to use one (a rare occasion in Israel) he knew at once how to do so. I suspect they learned about umbrellas in kindergarten when the theme of winter and rain was taught (Jonathan still sings “drip drop rain” songs, even though there has been no rain for a while now – except the usual rainy Purim weekend, spoiling all the Israel Carnival celebrations).
When I ask Jonathan “how are you?” he answers “beseder” which means all right.
Every time I give him something he said “toda” in a cheerful staccato (that means thanks you!)
When he especially wants something, he will even say a distorted form of the word please in Hebrew and even a nice “bitte” in German when solicitation his dad. He usually begins with a demand in general, and then he changes his tone to that of a request.
But there is one thing he will always ask for nicely – his bottle of chocolate milk before bedtime. He enters the bed and then says to me ceremoniously “kasha shoko” (it should be “bevakasha shocko”, which means please and chocolate drink). We are working hard now on the concept of requesting things and expressing his needs.
There is also some things that will always be demanded! - anything “I should give him is presented as a demand “dilli!” he says which is a distortion of “tni li” the female imperative of give in Hebrew. Give me! He demands. Ordering me to sit down by him is also a strict order “lashevet!” he says and motions to me with his hand – showing me with short movements up and down that I should sit myself in a particular spot in his vicinity.
We play a card game in which he has to match animals to their young. As he knows the matching by heart now, but still enjoys the game I have moved up the level a notch by asking him to repeat the animal names to only in Hebrew, but also in German. He gets it pretty close by repetition. Some animals like the lion (Loewe in German) he knows all alone. He also does wonderful animal sounds and the theme of animals is a strong topic between us in games (cards and pictures, little plastic animals) and in books and even DVD's. He really loves animals. My mother asked me if he makes cute mistakes, and that I should document them if he does. (We all still remember the distortion my twin sister used for the words tomato as a toddler, my dad used it as a nickname for her for years...). I regret to say that although Jonathan is not speaking perfectly, the mistakes are of the logic kind rather than cute confusion. His mistakes are mostly coming from the fact that some letters and words are truly hard to pronounce.
Another strong subject remains numbers. Jonathan can easily count to ten in Hebrew and by now he counts to five in German as well. It really seems as if he understands the concept of counting, because he puts items on the table, adding one at a time each time he mentions another number. He may sometime skip a number. The kitchen is also a beloved game/topic and Jonathan has taken to imitating the loud “chewing” noises I make when we play “cooking for mommy”.
His mimicking also involves tones of voice. Usually Jonathan is a merry child. If he is refused anything he will test the waters and fake a wail to see if he can get some pity from any nearby adult. When he is angry he shouts! And he mans it. Today, we were visiting a playmate, and the two boys argued about some game cards. Jonathan refused to share the cards and the other boy yelled that he wanted them himself. Jonathan's happy mood changed at once to that of anger and he scolded the buy by shouting his refusal to return the cards (in German by the way...if he is answering a question in the negative, but he is not angry – he will use Hebrew. If he is angry and shouts “no!” he will use German – an interesting division...). The funny thing about the whole scene was that from one moment to the next two happy boys with high pitch squeaky toddler voices suddenly changed their tone into deep growls of argument (Jonathan) and wailing (his counter part). In such moments as these, one believes that every exaggerated cartoon has its origin in the truth.
See for yourselves (armed with his bottle – typical Jonathan; captured in mommy's mobile phone – and since then I have a camera in my bag). I only showed him how to use an umbrella once, and yet when push came to shove and he needed to use one (a rare occasion in Israel) he knew at once how to do so. I suspect they learned about umbrellas in kindergarten when the theme of winter and rain was taught (Jonathan still sings “drip drop rain” songs, even though there has been no rain for a while now – except the usual rainy Purim weekend, spoiling all the Israel Carnival celebrations).
When I ask Jonathan “how are you?” he answers “beseder” which means all right.
Every time I give him something he said “toda” in a cheerful staccato (that means thanks you!)
When he especially wants something, he will even say a distorted form of the word please in Hebrew and even a nice “bitte” in German when solicitation his dad. He usually begins with a demand in general, and then he changes his tone to that of a request.
But there is one thing he will always ask for nicely – his bottle of chocolate milk before bedtime. He enters the bed and then says to me ceremoniously “kasha shoko” (it should be “bevakasha shocko”, which means please and chocolate drink). We are working hard now on the concept of requesting things and expressing his needs.
There is also some things that will always be demanded! - anything “I should give him is presented as a demand “dilli!” he says which is a distortion of “tni li” the female imperative of give in Hebrew. Give me! He demands. Ordering me to sit down by him is also a strict order “lashevet!” he says and motions to me with his hand – showing me with short movements up and down that I should sit myself in a particular spot in his vicinity.
We play a card game in which he has to match animals to their young. As he knows the matching by heart now, but still enjoys the game I have moved up the level a notch by asking him to repeat the animal names to only in Hebrew, but also in German. He gets it pretty close by repetition. Some animals like the lion (Loewe in German) he knows all alone. He also does wonderful animal sounds and the theme of animals is a strong topic between us in games (cards and pictures, little plastic animals) and in books and even DVD's. He really loves animals. My mother asked me if he makes cute mistakes, and that I should document them if he does. (We all still remember the distortion my twin sister used for the words tomato as a toddler, my dad used it as a nickname for her for years...). I regret to say that although Jonathan is not speaking perfectly, the mistakes are of the logic kind rather than cute confusion. His mistakes are mostly coming from the fact that some letters and words are truly hard to pronounce.
Another strong subject remains numbers. Jonathan can easily count to ten in Hebrew and by now he counts to five in German as well. It really seems as if he understands the concept of counting, because he puts items on the table, adding one at a time each time he mentions another number. He may sometime skip a number. The kitchen is also a beloved game/topic and Jonathan has taken to imitating the loud “chewing” noises I make when we play “cooking for mommy”.
His mimicking also involves tones of voice. Usually Jonathan is a merry child. If he is refused anything he will test the waters and fake a wail to see if he can get some pity from any nearby adult. When he is angry he shouts! And he mans it. Today, we were visiting a playmate, and the two boys argued about some game cards. Jonathan refused to share the cards and the other boy yelled that he wanted them himself. Jonathan's happy mood changed at once to that of anger and he scolded the buy by shouting his refusal to return the cards (in German by the way...if he is answering a question in the negative, but he is not angry – he will use Hebrew. If he is angry and shouts “no!” he will use German – an interesting division...). The funny thing about the whole scene was that from one moment to the next two happy boys with high pitch squeaky toddler voices suddenly changed their tone into deep growls of argument (Jonathan) and wailing (his counter part). In such moments as these, one believes that every exaggerated cartoon has its origin in the truth.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Ownership
When it comes to ownership, Jonathan does not stop for trifles such as toys and candy, he goes straight for big real estate and property. Another insignificant matter - the true owner is also elegantly ignored...
The word “mine” has entered Jonathan's vocabulary. It seams he has caught on to the concept of ownership and is thus working continuously to increase his “holdings”. His possessions include anything and anyone he feels he owns at any given moment – especially mommy is a prime asset. Last evening Jonathan pushed away my husband as he was trying to give me a hug and lectured to him that “mommy is mine” and that “daddy should stop it”. I immediately explained that I am afraid I am nobody's property (except my own) but I do not think the little tyke took me seriously. He was in fact giving me an odd look, expressing with every muscle in his face that I am totally misunderstanding the true reality that as his mother, I belong to him. My husband, I fear, was rather hurt! Putting this incident together with the fact that in general, when having a choice of whom should wait on him hand and foot, Jonathan tends to prefer me to his father, I fear my husbands position is not always a pleasant one, but rather a frustrating second place.
When it comes to cars, the small shiny plastic version will simply not do. Though he enjoys playing with toy cars, the only time I heard Jonathan express ownership of anything with four wheels, he was referring to the very real family vehicle. We were walking in the street and I explained that we need to go to the car in order to drive home. Jonathan promptly asked “where is my car?” This particular scene has repeated itself a few times recently. Jonathan loves to sit in the driver's seat and “drive” the real car. Pushing buttons and turning on the light is a special treat (thank God he cannot honk, as the motor is switched off and the keys are removed). He comes up to the car and declares it is his car, then goes to his door and opens it. He scrambles over his seat directly into the driver's seat, smiling radiantly at me as he waits for me to enter the car and sit next to him while he “drives”. He then wants to hear music and even puts the CD into the player. I can only talk him out of the driver's seat and back into his own place by explaining that I can only find the keys when he is in his seat and only when the we have the keys can we actually play the music he wants to hear.
One would think that owning a real car would be enough for a two year old, but no! Jonathan is into prime real estate. We were recently visiting a little boy who is one of Jonathan's playmates, when Jonathan suddenly located himself in the middle of the living room and waved to the friend and his parents and said “bye bye”. At first I thought Jonathan was trying to tell me that he wanted to go home. He remained, however, firmly seated on the floor in the middle of the living room and then it dawned on me – he was instructing the family who owned the apartment to leave. Mincing no words he was simply and literally waving them off. The fact that he was a visitor in their house was entirely irrelevant to him. He had at that moment declared his ownership of their house and his wish to have it to himself. Thank goodness that our friends have a good sense of humor...
During the same visit Jonathan and his little friend argued over a toy they both wanted to play with at exactly the same time. Although this is not unusual for toddlers at their age, it was interesting for me to watch how the argument developed, considering Jonathan's new found sense of ownership. The little boy protested that it was “his toy” and grabbed at it. Jonathan's reaction was to strengthen his hold on the newly claimed “property” and pull it towards himself. The fact that there was another boy “attached” to the other side was of no significance and Jonathan ended up dragging the boy a bit, until his friend gave up the toy. The little boy repeated his righteous protest. I had to admit that was indeed true and tried to explain to Jonathan that he could not keep it and that he should play nicely. The other boy's mother was at the time explaining to her son the importance of sharing his toys with his guest... although the two boys usually play well together, on that particular visit they could not quite settle down.
When one considers that Jonathan already “owns” a car and an apartment in which he does not live (his friend's family are the “tenants”) one wonders what he will claim next. Playing it big is is after all his mode of operation.
The word “mine” has entered Jonathan's vocabulary. It seams he has caught on to the concept of ownership and is thus working continuously to increase his “holdings”. His possessions include anything and anyone he feels he owns at any given moment – especially mommy is a prime asset. Last evening Jonathan pushed away my husband as he was trying to give me a hug and lectured to him that “mommy is mine” and that “daddy should stop it”. I immediately explained that I am afraid I am nobody's property (except my own) but I do not think the little tyke took me seriously. He was in fact giving me an odd look, expressing with every muscle in his face that I am totally misunderstanding the true reality that as his mother, I belong to him. My husband, I fear, was rather hurt! Putting this incident together with the fact that in general, when having a choice of whom should wait on him hand and foot, Jonathan tends to prefer me to his father, I fear my husbands position is not always a pleasant one, but rather a frustrating second place.
When it comes to cars, the small shiny plastic version will simply not do. Though he enjoys playing with toy cars, the only time I heard Jonathan express ownership of anything with four wheels, he was referring to the very real family vehicle. We were walking in the street and I explained that we need to go to the car in order to drive home. Jonathan promptly asked “where is my car?” This particular scene has repeated itself a few times recently. Jonathan loves to sit in the driver's seat and “drive” the real car. Pushing buttons and turning on the light is a special treat (thank God he cannot honk, as the motor is switched off and the keys are removed). He comes up to the car and declares it is his car, then goes to his door and opens it. He scrambles over his seat directly into the driver's seat, smiling radiantly at me as he waits for me to enter the car and sit next to him while he “drives”. He then wants to hear music and even puts the CD into the player. I can only talk him out of the driver's seat and back into his own place by explaining that I can only find the keys when he is in his seat and only when the we have the keys can we actually play the music he wants to hear.
One would think that owning a real car would be enough for a two year old, but no! Jonathan is into prime real estate. We were recently visiting a little boy who is one of Jonathan's playmates, when Jonathan suddenly located himself in the middle of the living room and waved to the friend and his parents and said “bye bye”. At first I thought Jonathan was trying to tell me that he wanted to go home. He remained, however, firmly seated on the floor in the middle of the living room and then it dawned on me – he was instructing the family who owned the apartment to leave. Mincing no words he was simply and literally waving them off. The fact that he was a visitor in their house was entirely irrelevant to him. He had at that moment declared his ownership of their house and his wish to have it to himself. Thank goodness that our friends have a good sense of humor...
During the same visit Jonathan and his little friend argued over a toy they both wanted to play with at exactly the same time. Although this is not unusual for toddlers at their age, it was interesting for me to watch how the argument developed, considering Jonathan's new found sense of ownership. The little boy protested that it was “his toy” and grabbed at it. Jonathan's reaction was to strengthen his hold on the newly claimed “property” and pull it towards himself. The fact that there was another boy “attached” to the other side was of no significance and Jonathan ended up dragging the boy a bit, until his friend gave up the toy. The little boy repeated his righteous protest. I had to admit that was indeed true and tried to explain to Jonathan that he could not keep it and that he should play nicely. The other boy's mother was at the time explaining to her son the importance of sharing his toys with his guest... although the two boys usually play well together, on that particular visit they could not quite settle down.
When one considers that Jonathan already “owns” a car and an apartment in which he does not live (his friend's family are the “tenants”) one wonders what he will claim next. Playing it big is is after all his mode of operation.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Carnival (The Purim Saga)
March brings with it the holiday of Purim, in which people of all ages dress up in costumes and party for two days straight! The average two year old is probably not really impressed by the whole commotion, its just the adults all around who loose proportions...
Purim is the Jewish version of carnival and it takes place more or less at the same time (about one month before Easter). Jews celebrate their deliverance from a genocide threat in ancient Persia (somewhat ironic these days...) by dressing up and getting drunk! People of all ages spend weeks before the holiday of Purim seeking out costumes – every mother shares her ideas for a child's costumes with her counter parts, children harass their parents into purchasing the latest TV hero costume for hundreds of shekels and everyone consumes to much sweets for weeks!
The average two year old (Jonathan's age) probably could not care less about dressing up. Maybe some toddlers like the concept – and those are mostly girls who use Purim as an excuse enjoy an especially frilly skirt for a few days. I imagine most toddlers of two might even find masquerading a bit scary...the people they love metamorphose into clowns (at best) and sexy devils (at worst) before their eyes. I think it is fair to assume that the fun in dressing up is an acquired taste and age is a factor – I guess Purim starts being fun for kids around the age of 3-4.
Although I am happy that in the last week Purim is being taught as a cultural highlight and that costumes and masks have been produced to the children as part of a healthy learning process (so they do not get a heart attack when mom and dad decide to dress up for a costume party and the babysitter (probably a teenager) turns up dressed as a fairy...) I do fear that the teachers at the establishment which Jonathan attends, have lost proportions regarding the Purim celebration. But they are not alone – the whole of Israel is in Purim costume fever. The fact that their behavior was (regrettably) not unusual does not however make it less annoying. So here is the story...
On the day before the Purim holiday, parents were requested to bring their children to the kindergarten dressed up. The idea is that children will celebrate the holiday with too many cookies and by playing dressed up among their also dressed up peers. He highlight however has nothing to do with the kids, but is a product of their parents adoring admiration. To encourage parents to dress up the children a photographer is brought to the kindergarten to document the little angels in their oh sooooo cure costumes (at two the dressed up toddler is indeed still rather cute...)
Considering this event, and the option that Jonathan may indeed wish to dress up (after being taught all week in kindergarten what fun it is to dress up) I brought a simple clown costume for him. I figured that will probably not scare him too much. It has nice strong colors – happy colors. At the age of two, it was obvious to me that I was not going to be too creative and purchasing a durable inexpensive easy to put on costume was the target. The week of Purim came and I started discussing the subject of dressing up and clown with Jonathan in order to prepare him for the great day. He then expressed a particular with to be a rabbit. As he repeated it twice, I decided to take him seriously and brought another (again inexpensive and relatively simple to put on) rabbit costume. During the week the costumes were openly available for play at home and Jonathan seemed to enjoy trying to dress me up, rather than dressing up himself.
I never had any intention of forcing Jonathan to dress us (I clearly remember my brother being forced to dress as a clown when he was two by our nanny, who thought he was sooo cute, and he hated it and I hated it that he hated it) and I told the kindergarten teacher so. She said that I should not worry and that eventually all “her kids” dress up for the photos (typical reaction that shows she misunderstood m y intention entirely). Still as we ended up having two costumes (clown and rabbit) I decided Jonathan might as well enjoy the possibility of choice. So on the day of the party, I asked Jonathan if he wanted to put on any of his costumes, he said no. I put them in a bag and took both to the kindergarten. The boy was normally dressed. I was wearing bunny ears, to set a good example of party spirit.
Now comes the annoying part (and the whole point of this blog entry). As soon as I entered the kindergarten with the regularly dressed Jonathan I was immediately reprimanded by a member of staff to this effect “why is the boy not dressed up?” she snapped! I calmly answered that he did not with to do so. We continued our walk through the yard to his class and another member of staff took the trouble of snapping at us “why is he not dressed up?” I repeated the obvious answer yet again. Then we got into the class and children were dressed up and also playing with the costume crate belonging to the kindergarten and suddenly Jonathan decided he was interested in dressing up – he tried to put on his rabbit costume bu pulling it over his head (in my opinion a clear gesture of interest on his part). The costume however needs to be out ob from the feet first – so I tried t help Jonathan put it on. He however thought this was all to complicated and changed his mind about putting it on – he impatiently pushed it away. Just as he was displaying this negative gesture the head kindergarten teacher entered the room and bluntly scolded me “why are you forcing him?” she said.
Talk about bad timing! At such moments I understand why some people say that timing is everything... I could not believe it! After being reprimanded twice that he is not dressed up, I am now being scolded for trying to comply with his awakened interest in his costume. I admit I lost my temper and scolded the teacher for the duality of the messages I had received from the staff that morning. She told me I should not be angry, or stressed, “her kids” always dress up for the pictures. She then left the room and I felt I was fighting a losing battle. All the air blown out of my sails, I put the costumes back in the bag and told one of the assistants where they are and that they belong to Jonathan. Then I got up to leave. The assistant however panicked and told me that if I do not dress up my boy for the photos, she has not intention of doing it for me. I gave up! I told her nothing will happen if Jonathan would be photographed in his normal clothes! Did I already mention that adults lose all proportion because of Purim? I reported the incident to the head teacher and left the kindergarten.
I couldn't care less if the picture was indeed without without a costume. A photographer coming to the kindergarten is an opportunity to get cool pictures, I admit, but Jonathan is cute to photo graph no matter what he wears. It was important to me that Jonathan have fun, whether he chooses to wear his costume/s or not. The costumes were there to give him a choice. The teachers are however probably used to other reactions from panicking parents who want their sweet angle to be documented in cute costumes. I would of course also enjoy such a picture, but there is a limit regarding the extent I would go to in obtaining it. I learned from the previous year it was not necessarily all fun and games for the average impatient toddler.
I must confess that just last year I was rather obsessed in getting picture of Jonathan dressed up as a lion (I found the costume in a sale and Jonathan loves animals). As a 1 year old, Jonathan was forced by his care takers to pose for a photo and probably lost his noon nap because of the Purim photo shoot. Then when he came home mommy drove him nuts yet again in order to get a cute photo and eventually he got really pissed ( I do believe I blogged about this too). This year I was more prepared to give him the space he needs. With the exception of holding bunny ears over his head and mine (we have two pairs) for a quick snap shot – I left him alone. Dressing up, if at all was to be his choice.
It was this point of free choice that the kindergarten teachers seem to have missed. A day after the celebration I was informed that in the end Jonathan was photographed as a rabbit. I simply answered coldly that I was happy to hear it. Last year, Jonathan looked happy in his lion picture, so I have reason to believe he was having fun, even if forced into the costume for the picture (in which a very full nappy is to be seen...). I just hope it was again the case this year. I want to hope that although Jonathan has probably experienced some pressure to put on the costume from his over motivated kindergarten teacher, that he still has fun wearing it and that being dressed up among his also dressed up peers was a positive experience. Only the picture itself will tell. I will have to wait until we receive it.
My lesson for me as mother is to give clearer instructions nest year that if Jonathan does not want to dress up he does not have to and that any photo of him is a pleasure for his family. Until then, we are already enjoying the “double bunny ears” mother and son snapshot I took. And daddy had to wear the ears an entire afternoon too...Jonathan is indeed having his share of amusement with Purim and dressing others up...
PS – bunny ears are an item one needs to get for the Adults department (even if you buy this item at a a children toy store that holds costumes for Purim...)
Purim is the Jewish version of carnival and it takes place more or less at the same time (about one month before Easter). Jews celebrate their deliverance from a genocide threat in ancient Persia (somewhat ironic these days...) by dressing up and getting drunk! People of all ages spend weeks before the holiday of Purim seeking out costumes – every mother shares her ideas for a child's costumes with her counter parts, children harass their parents into purchasing the latest TV hero costume for hundreds of shekels and everyone consumes to much sweets for weeks!
The average two year old (Jonathan's age) probably could not care less about dressing up. Maybe some toddlers like the concept – and those are mostly girls who use Purim as an excuse enjoy an especially frilly skirt for a few days. I imagine most toddlers of two might even find masquerading a bit scary...the people they love metamorphose into clowns (at best) and sexy devils (at worst) before their eyes. I think it is fair to assume that the fun in dressing up is an acquired taste and age is a factor – I guess Purim starts being fun for kids around the age of 3-4.
Although I am happy that in the last week Purim is being taught as a cultural highlight and that costumes and masks have been produced to the children as part of a healthy learning process (so they do not get a heart attack when mom and dad decide to dress up for a costume party and the babysitter (probably a teenager) turns up dressed as a fairy...) I do fear that the teachers at the establishment which Jonathan attends, have lost proportions regarding the Purim celebration. But they are not alone – the whole of Israel is in Purim costume fever. The fact that their behavior was (regrettably) not unusual does not however make it less annoying. So here is the story...
On the day before the Purim holiday, parents were requested to bring their children to the kindergarten dressed up. The idea is that children will celebrate the holiday with too many cookies and by playing dressed up among their also dressed up peers. He highlight however has nothing to do with the kids, but is a product of their parents adoring admiration. To encourage parents to dress up the children a photographer is brought to the kindergarten to document the little angels in their oh sooooo cure costumes (at two the dressed up toddler is indeed still rather cute...)
Considering this event, and the option that Jonathan may indeed wish to dress up (after being taught all week in kindergarten what fun it is to dress up) I brought a simple clown costume for him. I figured that will probably not scare him too much. It has nice strong colors – happy colors. At the age of two, it was obvious to me that I was not going to be too creative and purchasing a durable inexpensive easy to put on costume was the target. The week of Purim came and I started discussing the subject of dressing up and clown with Jonathan in order to prepare him for the great day. He then expressed a particular with to be a rabbit. As he repeated it twice, I decided to take him seriously and brought another (again inexpensive and relatively simple to put on) rabbit costume. During the week the costumes were openly available for play at home and Jonathan seemed to enjoy trying to dress me up, rather than dressing up himself.
I never had any intention of forcing Jonathan to dress us (I clearly remember my brother being forced to dress as a clown when he was two by our nanny, who thought he was sooo cute, and he hated it and I hated it that he hated it) and I told the kindergarten teacher so. She said that I should not worry and that eventually all “her kids” dress up for the photos (typical reaction that shows she misunderstood m y intention entirely). Still as we ended up having two costumes (clown and rabbit) I decided Jonathan might as well enjoy the possibility of choice. So on the day of the party, I asked Jonathan if he wanted to put on any of his costumes, he said no. I put them in a bag and took both to the kindergarten. The boy was normally dressed. I was wearing bunny ears, to set a good example of party spirit.
Now comes the annoying part (and the whole point of this blog entry). As soon as I entered the kindergarten with the regularly dressed Jonathan I was immediately reprimanded by a member of staff to this effect “why is the boy not dressed up?” she snapped! I calmly answered that he did not with to do so. We continued our walk through the yard to his class and another member of staff took the trouble of snapping at us “why is he not dressed up?” I repeated the obvious answer yet again. Then we got into the class and children were dressed up and also playing with the costume crate belonging to the kindergarten and suddenly Jonathan decided he was interested in dressing up – he tried to put on his rabbit costume bu pulling it over his head (in my opinion a clear gesture of interest on his part). The costume however needs to be out ob from the feet first – so I tried t help Jonathan put it on. He however thought this was all to complicated and changed his mind about putting it on – he impatiently pushed it away. Just as he was displaying this negative gesture the head kindergarten teacher entered the room and bluntly scolded me “why are you forcing him?” she said.
Talk about bad timing! At such moments I understand why some people say that timing is everything... I could not believe it! After being reprimanded twice that he is not dressed up, I am now being scolded for trying to comply with his awakened interest in his costume. I admit I lost my temper and scolded the teacher for the duality of the messages I had received from the staff that morning. She told me I should not be angry, or stressed, “her kids” always dress up for the pictures. She then left the room and I felt I was fighting a losing battle. All the air blown out of my sails, I put the costumes back in the bag and told one of the assistants where they are and that they belong to Jonathan. Then I got up to leave. The assistant however panicked and told me that if I do not dress up my boy for the photos, she has not intention of doing it for me. I gave up! I told her nothing will happen if Jonathan would be photographed in his normal clothes! Did I already mention that adults lose all proportion because of Purim? I reported the incident to the head teacher and left the kindergarten.
I couldn't care less if the picture was indeed without without a costume. A photographer coming to the kindergarten is an opportunity to get cool pictures, I admit, but Jonathan is cute to photo graph no matter what he wears. It was important to me that Jonathan have fun, whether he chooses to wear his costume/s or not. The costumes were there to give him a choice. The teachers are however probably used to other reactions from panicking parents who want their sweet angle to be documented in cute costumes. I would of course also enjoy such a picture, but there is a limit regarding the extent I would go to in obtaining it. I learned from the previous year it was not necessarily all fun and games for the average impatient toddler.
I must confess that just last year I was rather obsessed in getting picture of Jonathan dressed up as a lion (I found the costume in a sale and Jonathan loves animals). As a 1 year old, Jonathan was forced by his care takers to pose for a photo and probably lost his noon nap because of the Purim photo shoot. Then when he came home mommy drove him nuts yet again in order to get a cute photo and eventually he got really pissed ( I do believe I blogged about this too). This year I was more prepared to give him the space he needs. With the exception of holding bunny ears over his head and mine (we have two pairs) for a quick snap shot – I left him alone. Dressing up, if at all was to be his choice.
It was this point of free choice that the kindergarten teachers seem to have missed. A day after the celebration I was informed that in the end Jonathan was photographed as a rabbit. I simply answered coldly that I was happy to hear it. Last year, Jonathan looked happy in his lion picture, so I have reason to believe he was having fun, even if forced into the costume for the picture (in which a very full nappy is to be seen...). I just hope it was again the case this year. I want to hope that although Jonathan has probably experienced some pressure to put on the costume from his over motivated kindergarten teacher, that he still has fun wearing it and that being dressed up among his also dressed up peers was a positive experience. Only the picture itself will tell. I will have to wait until we receive it.
My lesson for me as mother is to give clearer instructions nest year that if Jonathan does not want to dress up he does not have to and that any photo of him is a pleasure for his family. Until then, we are already enjoying the “double bunny ears” mother and son snapshot I took. And daddy had to wear the ears an entire afternoon too...Jonathan is indeed having his share of amusement with Purim and dressing others up...
PS – bunny ears are an item one needs to get for the Adults department (even if you buy this item at a a children toy store that holds costumes for Purim...)
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Ordnung muss sein! Every Thing has its Place
Orderly it must be (in German: Ordnung muss sein!) Everything has its place in Jonathan's life! And the boy actively arranges everything and everyone to please his sense of order...
Jonathan is to my great happiness a child who loves to keep things in order. He may throw out his entire toys during play – but he will also tidy them up if something is not to his liking, and recently he also cooperates when I request that he tidy up.
The table in the living room served us as an eating place. For Jonathan I have set us a small plastic chair that suits this table and a plastic place-mat that helps define his eating area and reduces the mess being made during th meal. Until recently he also has a bob as part of the ceremony, but in recent weeks he no longer wants to wear it. One evening, as I put down some strawberries for Jonathan as a snack directly on the table itself, Jonathan shook his head at me and told me in clear gibberish that I have not served his food properly. His Tone told me I was being reprimanded for such negligence. Then, when the lecture was over, picked up the dish and pulled the plastic mat under it. After relocating the dish on the mat he tapped the mat as if to show me that everything was now where it belonged. Then he sat down and enjoyed his snack!
When my husband puts Jonathan to bed, he remains to keep him company lying on the bed next to him (it has a higher mattress located next to Jonathan's sleeping space). When I stay to keep him company, I sit on a stool near the bed. One evening, my husband sat on the stool. As long as I was absent, this was not a problem, but as I entered the room shortly after my husband had seated himself, Jonathan wanted me to take my natural place – but the stool was taken. And so he pulled and pushed showing my husband that he must get up, and when my husband got up, Jonathan ordered me to sit down. My husband, who felt a bit rejected by this action, left the room. Jonathan then pointed to the high bed and said “papa” twice, thus explaining that my husband should not have necessarily left the room, but that he should have simply moved over to his place on the bed. After all, everything has its place in Jonathan world and “order must be!” - as the German proverb says (and Jonathan is half German) “Ordnung muss sein!”
Jonathan is to my great happiness a child who loves to keep things in order. He may throw out his entire toys during play – but he will also tidy them up if something is not to his liking, and recently he also cooperates when I request that he tidy up.
The table in the living room served us as an eating place. For Jonathan I have set us a small plastic chair that suits this table and a plastic place-mat that helps define his eating area and reduces the mess being made during th meal. Until recently he also has a bob as part of the ceremony, but in recent weeks he no longer wants to wear it. One evening, as I put down some strawberries for Jonathan as a snack directly on the table itself, Jonathan shook his head at me and told me in clear gibberish that I have not served his food properly. His Tone told me I was being reprimanded for such negligence. Then, when the lecture was over, picked up the dish and pulled the plastic mat under it. After relocating the dish on the mat he tapped the mat as if to show me that everything was now where it belonged. Then he sat down and enjoyed his snack!
When my husband puts Jonathan to bed, he remains to keep him company lying on the bed next to him (it has a higher mattress located next to Jonathan's sleeping space). When I stay to keep him company, I sit on a stool near the bed. One evening, my husband sat on the stool. As long as I was absent, this was not a problem, but as I entered the room shortly after my husband had seated himself, Jonathan wanted me to take my natural place – but the stool was taken. And so he pulled and pushed showing my husband that he must get up, and when my husband got up, Jonathan ordered me to sit down. My husband, who felt a bit rejected by this action, left the room. Jonathan then pointed to the high bed and said “papa” twice, thus explaining that my husband should not have necessarily left the room, but that he should have simply moved over to his place on the bed. After all, everything has its place in Jonathan world and “order must be!” - as the German proverb says (and Jonathan is half German) “Ordnung muss sein!”
Don Juan has nothing on Jonathan!
He is just two years old and two months and yet Jonathan sure can kiss a woman senseless!
(especially if that woman happens to me his mother!)
Last night, as I was trying to put Jonathan to bed, he suddenly “attacked” me with all his love. He crawled in my arms (nothing unusual there) and after a little pampering, he started to kiss and kiss me and hug and then kiss me again. The kisses were long and he also took the trouble of making explicit kissing noises too! The intensity was just amazing! We have kissed and hugged every day and ever since he is about a year old, Jonathan has also kissed me and his daddy back – but yesterday was a special display of love! It was obvious that his little heart was exploding with it and that he simply had to demonstrate his affections to me!
The only thing that makes me a bot uneasy is that the “love attack” took place shortly after Jonathan remarked about the absence of my husband (who had gone out for about an hour). After remarking on the absence of his father more than once, Jonathan lead me to the “big bed” where my husband and I sleep , not forgetting his teddy bear too - he wanted to cuddle there. I let him lye in our bed for a shot while and then I ordered him back to his room and his bed. (Mommy and Daddy's bed is only allowed in the morning, as part of a cuddly waking up ceremony for three). Once we reached his room again, he entered his bad only shortly,while I sat on a stool nearby. Then he got up, climbed into my arms and “love attacked me”. I am just wondering if this is already the age in which toddlers get a little jealous of their dads (especially boys who feel ownership of their mothers). There are many things Jonathan prefers that I do for him and not his daddy (who is scolded for trying to help...).
Make no mistake, I am sure Jonathan loves his dad too, its just that my husband is “not the mama!” and that is just a fact!
(especially if that woman happens to me his mother!)
Last night, as I was trying to put Jonathan to bed, he suddenly “attacked” me with all his love. He crawled in my arms (nothing unusual there) and after a little pampering, he started to kiss and kiss me and hug and then kiss me again. The kisses were long and he also took the trouble of making explicit kissing noises too! The intensity was just amazing! We have kissed and hugged every day and ever since he is about a year old, Jonathan has also kissed me and his daddy back – but yesterday was a special display of love! It was obvious that his little heart was exploding with it and that he simply had to demonstrate his affections to me!
The only thing that makes me a bot uneasy is that the “love attack” took place shortly after Jonathan remarked about the absence of my husband (who had gone out for about an hour). After remarking on the absence of his father more than once, Jonathan lead me to the “big bed” where my husband and I sleep , not forgetting his teddy bear too - he wanted to cuddle there. I let him lye in our bed for a shot while and then I ordered him back to his room and his bed. (Mommy and Daddy's bed is only allowed in the morning, as part of a cuddly waking up ceremony for three). Once we reached his room again, he entered his bad only shortly,while I sat on a stool nearby. Then he got up, climbed into my arms and “love attacked me”. I am just wondering if this is already the age in which toddlers get a little jealous of their dads (especially boys who feel ownership of their mothers). There are many things Jonathan prefers that I do for him and not his daddy (who is scolded for trying to help...).
Make no mistake, I am sure Jonathan loves his dad too, its just that my husband is “not the mama!” and that is just a fact!
Friday, February 19, 2010
The lice Trauma
Turns out that Jonathan is old enough to get lice. This means I am also old enough to get them... and this means a double hair cut.
This may sound extreme and I reacted the same way when a year ago the parents of a baby girl in Jonathan's group got her hair cut because she was scratching her head -still on that occasion there was no lice – I know because Jonathan and I did not get it – hence perhaps the justification to my reaction last year, and to my actions this year, when we did get infested.
It all started with a note in the kindergarten that alerted parents to the possible presence of head lice. Parents were asked for awareness and to inspect their children accordingly. Lice are not unusual in Israel and kids tend to infect one another because they stick their heads together, and into the sand quite often. I remember having lice as a kid and getting my hair combed out by my mother, but this was not an often occurrence. Looking through Jonathan's hair I saw nothing at first – then I saw what I presumed could be eggs. I went and brought a lice comb with thin teeth and just one stroke into Jonathan's hair led to the removal of many of the tiny pests. By then I was scratching my head too, so I gave both Jonathan and myself the “anti-lice” shampoo treatment. Ironically I found myself on that evening seated on the floor and my mother going through my hair, combing it and removing eggs – nostalgia! My mother however could not see any eggs or lice (she getting older I suppose) and eventually it was the skin doctor (to whom I turned in my itching desperation) who confirmed that fact that my itching has to do with lice.
Its is amazing how the little bugs hurt – the itching is strong and they bite! I do not recall this kind of pain from lice as a child. Jonathan in fact seams to suffer them with the patience of a saint! If he has had to endure as much itching as I, I have seen nothing of it!
We combed his head every week as a prevention measure against a re infestation, following the advise of the owner of the kindergarten. I saw not lice in these combings and Jonathan hates it when I comb his head. We also put rosemary oil – its suppose to repel the lice – all to no avail!
We had about three weeks of piece and then I started to scratch my head again! This time combing Jonathan did not turn up any lice, but I did get some eggs out of his hair during his sleep (did I mention he hates being combed? He moves about and the only way we can get some decent combing done if at all is during the time Jonathan watches a DVD). I combed myself alone this time and also got eggs- so it was the “anti lice” chemical shampoo for both of us yet again.
This was however not enough! This time I decided to take more extreme measures and today, I had my hair cut and Jonathan got his first hair cut too. Do not worry – we are not both shaved! We both got decent haircuts.
My boss who has four kids laughed at me at the extreme reaction. I reminded him he was bold and thus did not have to suffer scratching his head when his kids got infested with the little squirts!
I am just hoping that the shorter hair will reduce the frequency in which Jonathan and I both get infected with lice. I give full credit to the hairdresser who cut his hair into a tidy line despite all his squirming and crying. I had to hold Jonathan a bit, but she was fast and got the work done efficiently.
Now Jonathan is looking like a little big man! The shorter hair gives him a more boyish look , rather than the cute curly baby look he had before. He is however still the same cuty! My husband is mourning the loss of the soft curls – and I admit I miss them too. But I think this is for the best. After all my husband did not get infected at all – the lice just do not think him tasty (people say that lice, like mosquitoes, choose their victims according to smell and “sweet blood”), so it easy for him to pretest the loss of the curls – he did not have scratch his head for days in the last month. Besides, Jonathan at last looks his age! A strapping, healthy and happy 2 year old little boy!
This may sound extreme and I reacted the same way when a year ago the parents of a baby girl in Jonathan's group got her hair cut because she was scratching her head -still on that occasion there was no lice – I know because Jonathan and I did not get it – hence perhaps the justification to my reaction last year, and to my actions this year, when we did get infested.
It all started with a note in the kindergarten that alerted parents to the possible presence of head lice. Parents were asked for awareness and to inspect their children accordingly. Lice are not unusual in Israel and kids tend to infect one another because they stick their heads together, and into the sand quite often. I remember having lice as a kid and getting my hair combed out by my mother, but this was not an often occurrence. Looking through Jonathan's hair I saw nothing at first – then I saw what I presumed could be eggs. I went and brought a lice comb with thin teeth and just one stroke into Jonathan's hair led to the removal of many of the tiny pests. By then I was scratching my head too, so I gave both Jonathan and myself the “anti-lice” shampoo treatment. Ironically I found myself on that evening seated on the floor and my mother going through my hair, combing it and removing eggs – nostalgia! My mother however could not see any eggs or lice (she getting older I suppose) and eventually it was the skin doctor (to whom I turned in my itching desperation) who confirmed that fact that my itching has to do with lice.
Its is amazing how the little bugs hurt – the itching is strong and they bite! I do not recall this kind of pain from lice as a child. Jonathan in fact seams to suffer them with the patience of a saint! If he has had to endure as much itching as I, I have seen nothing of it!
We combed his head every week as a prevention measure against a re infestation, following the advise of the owner of the kindergarten. I saw not lice in these combings and Jonathan hates it when I comb his head. We also put rosemary oil – its suppose to repel the lice – all to no avail!
We had about three weeks of piece and then I started to scratch my head again! This time combing Jonathan did not turn up any lice, but I did get some eggs out of his hair during his sleep (did I mention he hates being combed? He moves about and the only way we can get some decent combing done if at all is during the time Jonathan watches a DVD). I combed myself alone this time and also got eggs- so it was the “anti lice” chemical shampoo for both of us yet again.
This was however not enough! This time I decided to take more extreme measures and today, I had my hair cut and Jonathan got his first hair cut too. Do not worry – we are not both shaved! We both got decent haircuts.
My boss who has four kids laughed at me at the extreme reaction. I reminded him he was bold and thus did not have to suffer scratching his head when his kids got infested with the little squirts!
I am just hoping that the shorter hair will reduce the frequency in which Jonathan and I both get infected with lice. I give full credit to the hairdresser who cut his hair into a tidy line despite all his squirming and crying. I had to hold Jonathan a bit, but she was fast and got the work done efficiently.
Now Jonathan is looking like a little big man! The shorter hair gives him a more boyish look , rather than the cute curly baby look he had before. He is however still the same cuty! My husband is mourning the loss of the soft curls – and I admit I miss them too. But I think this is for the best. After all my husband did not get infected at all – the lice just do not think him tasty (people say that lice, like mosquitoes, choose their victims according to smell and “sweet blood”), so it easy for him to pretest the loss of the curls – he did not have scratch his head for days in the last month. Besides, Jonathan at last looks his age! A strapping, healthy and happy 2 year old little boy!
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