Ownership

When it comes to ownership, Jonathan does not stop for trifles such as toys and candy, he goes straight for big real estate and property. Another insignificant matter - the true owner is also elegantly ignored...

The word “mine” has entered Jonathan's vocabulary. It seams he has caught on to the concept of ownership and is thus working continuously to increase his “holdings”. His possessions include anything and anyone he feels he owns at any given moment – especially mommy is a prime asset. Last evening Jonathan pushed away my husband as he was trying to give me a hug and lectured to him that “mommy is mine” and that “daddy should stop it”. I immediately explained that I am afraid I am nobody's property (except my own) but I do not think the little tyke took me seriously. He was in fact giving me an odd look, expressing with every muscle in his face that I am totally misunderstanding the true reality that as his mother, I belong to him. My husband, I fear, was rather hurt! Putting this incident together with the fact that in general, when having a choice of whom should wait on him hand and foot, Jonathan tends to prefer me to his father, I fear my husbands position is not always a pleasant one, but rather a frustrating second place.

When it comes to cars, the small shiny plastic version will simply not do. Though he enjoys playing with toy cars, the only time I heard Jonathan express ownership of anything with four wheels, he was referring to the very real family vehicle. We were walking in the street and I explained that we need to go to the car in order to drive home. Jonathan promptly asked “where is my car?” This particular scene has repeated itself a few times recently. Jonathan loves to sit in the driver's seat and “drive” the real car. Pushing buttons and turning on the light is a special treat (thank God he cannot honk, as the motor is switched off and the keys are removed). He comes up to the car and declares it is his car, then goes to his door and opens it. He scrambles over his seat directly into the driver's seat, smiling radiantly at me as he waits for me to enter the car and sit next to him while he “drives”. He then wants to hear music and even puts the CD into the player. I can only talk him out of the driver's seat and back into his own place by explaining that I can only find the keys when he is in his seat and only when the we have the keys can we actually play the music he wants to hear.

One would think that owning a real car would be enough for a two year old, but no! Jonathan is into prime real estate. We were recently visiting a little boy who is one of Jonathan's playmates, when Jonathan suddenly located himself in the middle of the living room and waved to the friend and his parents and said “bye bye”. At first I thought Jonathan was trying to tell me that he wanted to go home. He remained, however, firmly seated on the floor in the middle of the living room and then it dawned on me – he was instructing the family who owned the apartment to leave. Mincing no words he was simply and literally waving them off. The fact that he was a visitor in their house was entirely irrelevant to him. He had at that moment declared his ownership of their house and his wish to have it to himself. Thank goodness that our friends have a good sense of humor...

During the same visit Jonathan and his little friend argued over a toy they both wanted to play with at exactly the same time. Although this is not unusual for toddlers at their age, it was interesting for me to watch how the argument developed, considering Jonathan's new found sense of ownership. The little boy protested that it was “his toy” and grabbed at it. Jonathan's reaction was to strengthen his hold on the newly claimed “property” and pull it towards himself. The fact that there was another boy “attached” to the other side was of no significance and Jonathan ended up dragging the boy a bit, until his friend gave up the toy. The little boy repeated his righteous protest. I had to admit that was indeed true and tried to explain to Jonathan that he could not keep it and that he should play nicely. The other boy's mother was at the time explaining to her son the importance of sharing his toys with his guest... although the two boys usually play well together, on that particular visit they could not quite settle down.

When one considers that Jonathan already “owns” a car and an apartment in which he does not live (his friend's family are the “tenants”) one wonders what he will claim next. Playing it big is is after all his mode of operation.