March brings with it the holiday of Purim, in which people of all ages dress up in costumes and party for two days straight! The average two year old is probably not really impressed by the whole commotion, its just the adults all around who loose proportions...
Purim is the Jewish version of carnival and it takes place more or less at the same time (about one month before Easter). Jews celebrate their deliverance from a genocide threat in ancient Persia (somewhat ironic these days...) by dressing up and getting drunk! People of all ages spend weeks before the holiday of Purim seeking out costumes – every mother shares her ideas for a child's costumes with her counter parts, children harass their parents into purchasing the latest TV hero costume for hundreds of shekels and everyone consumes to much sweets for weeks!
The average two year old (Jonathan's age) probably could not care less about dressing up. Maybe some toddlers like the concept – and those are mostly girls who use Purim as an excuse enjoy an especially frilly skirt for a few days. I imagine most toddlers of two might even find masquerading a bit scary...the people they love metamorphose into clowns (at best) and sexy devils (at worst) before their eyes. I think it is fair to assume that the fun in dressing up is an acquired taste and age is a factor – I guess Purim starts being fun for kids around the age of 3-4.
Although I am happy that in the last week Purim is being taught as a cultural highlight and that costumes and masks have been produced to the children as part of a healthy learning process (so they do not get a heart attack when mom and dad decide to dress up for a costume party and the babysitter (probably a teenager) turns up dressed as a fairy...) I do fear that the teachers at the establishment which Jonathan attends, have lost proportions regarding the Purim celebration. But they are not alone – the whole of Israel is in Purim costume fever. The fact that their behavior was (regrettably) not unusual does not however make it less annoying. So here is the story...
On the day before the Purim holiday, parents were requested to bring their children to the kindergarten dressed up. The idea is that children will celebrate the holiday with too many cookies and by playing dressed up among their also dressed up peers. He highlight however has nothing to do with the kids, but is a product of their parents adoring admiration. To encourage parents to dress up the children a photographer is brought to the kindergarten to document the little angels in their oh sooooo cure costumes (at two the dressed up toddler is indeed still rather cute...)
Considering this event, and the option that Jonathan may indeed wish to dress up (after being taught all week in kindergarten what fun it is to dress up) I brought a simple clown costume for him. I figured that will probably not scare him too much. It has nice strong colors – happy colors. At the age of two, it was obvious to me that I was not going to be too creative and purchasing a durable inexpensive easy to put on costume was the target. The week of Purim came and I started discussing the subject of dressing up and clown with Jonathan in order to prepare him for the great day. He then expressed a particular with to be a rabbit. As he repeated it twice, I decided to take him seriously and brought another (again inexpensive and relatively simple to put on) rabbit costume. During the week the costumes were openly available for play at home and Jonathan seemed to enjoy trying to dress me up, rather than dressing up himself.
I never had any intention of forcing Jonathan to dress us (I clearly remember my brother being forced to dress as a clown when he was two by our nanny, who thought he was sooo cute, and he hated it and I hated it that he hated it) and I told the kindergarten teacher so. She said that I should not worry and that eventually all “her kids” dress up for the photos (typical reaction that shows she misunderstood m y intention entirely). Still as we ended up having two costumes (clown and rabbit) I decided Jonathan might as well enjoy the possibility of choice. So on the day of the party, I asked Jonathan if he wanted to put on any of his costumes, he said no. I put them in a bag and took both to the kindergarten. The boy was normally dressed. I was wearing bunny ears, to set a good example of party spirit.
Now comes the annoying part (and the whole point of this blog entry). As soon as I entered the kindergarten with the regularly dressed Jonathan I was immediately reprimanded by a member of staff to this effect “why is the boy not dressed up?” she snapped! I calmly answered that he did not with to do so. We continued our walk through the yard to his class and another member of staff took the trouble of snapping at us “why is he not dressed up?” I repeated the obvious answer yet again. Then we got into the class and children were dressed up and also playing with the costume crate belonging to the kindergarten and suddenly Jonathan decided he was interested in dressing up – he tried to put on his rabbit costume bu pulling it over his head (in my opinion a clear gesture of interest on his part). The costume however needs to be out ob from the feet first – so I tried t help Jonathan put it on. He however thought this was all to complicated and changed his mind about putting it on – he impatiently pushed it away. Just as he was displaying this negative gesture the head kindergarten teacher entered the room and bluntly scolded me “why are you forcing him?” she said.
Talk about bad timing! At such moments I understand why some people say that timing is everything... I could not believe it! After being reprimanded twice that he is not dressed up, I am now being scolded for trying to comply with his awakened interest in his costume. I admit I lost my temper and scolded the teacher for the duality of the messages I had received from the staff that morning. She told me I should not be angry, or stressed, “her kids” always dress up for the pictures. She then left the room and I felt I was fighting a losing battle. All the air blown out of my sails, I put the costumes back in the bag and told one of the assistants where they are and that they belong to Jonathan. Then I got up to leave. The assistant however panicked and told me that if I do not dress up my boy for the photos, she has not intention of doing it for me. I gave up! I told her nothing will happen if Jonathan would be photographed in his normal clothes! Did I already mention that adults lose all proportion because of Purim? I reported the incident to the head teacher and left the kindergarten.
I couldn't care less if the picture was indeed without without a costume. A photographer coming to the kindergarten is an opportunity to get cool pictures, I admit, but Jonathan is cute to photo graph no matter what he wears. It was important to me that Jonathan have fun, whether he chooses to wear his costume/s or not. The costumes were there to give him a choice. The teachers are however probably used to other reactions from panicking parents who want their sweet angle to be documented in cute costumes. I would of course also enjoy such a picture, but there is a limit regarding the extent I would go to in obtaining it. I learned from the previous year it was not necessarily all fun and games for the average impatient toddler.
I must confess that just last year I was rather obsessed in getting picture of Jonathan dressed up as a lion (I found the costume in a sale and Jonathan loves animals). As a 1 year old, Jonathan was forced by his care takers to pose for a photo and probably lost his noon nap because of the Purim photo shoot. Then when he came home mommy drove him nuts yet again in order to get a cute photo and eventually he got really pissed ( I do believe I blogged about this too). This year I was more prepared to give him the space he needs. With the exception of holding bunny ears over his head and mine (we have two pairs) for a quick snap shot – I left him alone. Dressing up, if at all was to be his choice.
It was this point of free choice that the kindergarten teachers seem to have missed. A day after the celebration I was informed that in the end Jonathan was photographed as a rabbit. I simply answered coldly that I was happy to hear it. Last year, Jonathan looked happy in his lion picture, so I have reason to believe he was having fun, even if forced into the costume for the picture (in which a very full nappy is to be seen...). I just hope it was again the case this year. I want to hope that although Jonathan has probably experienced some pressure to put on the costume from his over motivated kindergarten teacher, that he still has fun wearing it and that being dressed up among his also dressed up peers was a positive experience. Only the picture itself will tell. I will have to wait until we receive it.
My lesson for me as mother is to give clearer instructions nest year that if Jonathan does not want to dress up he does not have to and that any photo of him is a pleasure for his family. Until then, we are already enjoying the “double bunny ears” mother and son snapshot I took. And daddy had to wear the ears an entire afternoon too...Jonathan is indeed having his share of amusement with Purim and dressing others up...
PS – bunny ears are an item one needs to get for the Adults department (even if you buy this item at a a children toy store that holds costumes for Purim...)
No comments:
Post a Comment