At the advanced age of 5, Jonathan is finally coming to
grips with the concept of death and old age. He is sad that one day I will be
old and die, and leave him behind…I admit, this saddens me too.
Jonathan is already 5 years old! About a year ago we saw a carcass
of a dead hedgehog and a boy 6 months older than Jonathan (who has older siblings)
pointed out that the animal was dead. This important information just went by Jonathan’s
little head and did not really click. He was just too busy running around the playground
to notice the deeper meaning. But then, he was only a 4 year old. I wondered
then, how would I explain death to him at all – how is a 4 or 5 year old to
grasp the concept of death?
Jonathan watches “SpongeBob” on the Internet, in this series
there is a character of a sailor’s ghost called “The flying Dutchman”. This
ghost is the cause for Jonathan’s first attempt to come to grips with death. I
explained that the Dutchman was a ghost, which means his soul is no longer in
his body because he is dead…I am not sure if that is really the way things work
(I guess I will find out when I die) but I just could not come up with a more
creative explanation, so I opted for the popular one…
During last year, a child in Jonathan’s kindergarten lost
his mother to cancer. A very sad story, which certainly helped mature the
little boy a bit. Just yesterday, during Jonathan’s birthday party, this boy
wished Jonathan good health and that he “may not go n the path of the dead”. I
am certain most of the children in the room, including Jonathan had no idea
what the boy was talking about…
A discussion of this boy one evening, just before I was due
to fly on a business trip, lead to the explanation that dying young of cancer
(or any other disease) is rare and that I intend to grow old and be with
Jonathan for a long time yet. I explained a bitterly crying boy that we still
have a long long long long time together. This connected to the fact that the
business trip will only be a few days and that I promised to return – I am not
sure what the connecting thread here is, except the act of parting, but for Jonathan
this was all inter-connected. He held the thought until my return from the trip,
when again, he expressed his sadness at the idea that his grandparents and one
day also his parents (especially mommy) will one day die and (if all goes
naturally) leave him behind.
I admit this thought saddened me too. I will be 40 this
year. I must come to terms with the fact that about half of my life is behind
me…I truly hope that I will die old and have the chance to see Jonathan and my
other daughter fulfill their destinies as grown people, with lots of grand-kids so
that I may once again have the chance of pondering death with a 5 year old…
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