Jonathan is going through a hard time; he is after all 4.5 and has a new baby sister! This is the reason why he is stretching the limits of his parents’ nerves! His ability to resist what he is being told to do is becoming more elaborated as he gets older and his speech abilities improve, the results can be surprising. Despite the rather stressed situation we are all in, getting used to the expansion of our family, there is always room for sweet gestures and a little love.
Jonathan is probably very good with numbers, the psychologist who works in his kindergarten (standard service in Israel) says he is very smart, even a bit higher than average for his age, and he shows a string affinity to numbers. I always knew he likes numbers, he likes to count, shows and recognizes the digits, wants to know what number is each house we pass in the street is etc.
Recently, however, he is showing a more abstract understanding of amounts. We were watching the television together, when a commercial for children cereal was running. This particular advert was for a chocolate flavor type. The over sweet breakfast is presented as full of vitamins and tasty health for kids, offering simplicity and relaxation for parents. Jonathan, who loves TV commercials and loves the colorful products shown in them even more, was immediately enthusiastic and he pointed at the cereal and screams “I love this!” in delight. I took the role of educational mom and explained to him that this cereal contains way too much sugar and chocolate, thus unhealthy. The boy’s simple solution to my plight was stated directly, “then all we need to do is serve just a bit” said he. One must agree that smaller portions do indeed reduce the amount of sugars, no?
Jonathan decided to bring me a gift. He found a pink business card in the street with lovely red lips graphics on it. He picked it up and told his father that he is bringing mommy a kiss! Once he got home, he delivered the card to me with delight and prided himself on bringing me a kiss that he found for me a sweet gesture indeed, my heart melted accordingly. What made it more memorable is that the card contained an advert for escorting services…thank G_d the boy still does not read…and the graphics was really lovely, the card was well designed, and I am keeping it, so I can show it to Jonathan and tell him the story when he is older and more understanding of the world.
Jonathan just does not want to do anything he should do! He does not want to get up in the morning (understandable, its so warm in the bed covers…) He does not want to get dressed, brush his teeth, go to kindergarten…and in the evening it’s the same for taking a bath or even going out to the garden. Anything that interferes with his know discovery of the computer (cool games and you can also watch children’s videos…) is rejected! Jonathan’s parents are being bothersome and order him around – after all one must take care of daily rituals like eating and hygiene, and so the computer must wait…
The result of the fact that I must compete with the computer for Jonathan’s attention is that he screams and wails every time I ask him to do things. He drags himself on the floor and complains of pains in his stomach. Then he says he cannot stand. To add some effect to his performance he begins to make choking sounds and sticks his tongue out. Recently he added a medical impossibility to his arsenal – he complains that his legs are broken and his head is broken, then he forgets himself and minute later he is standing up, happy as can be…I told him I had no idea one can walk on broken legs, and with a broken head. The negotiations between us have a few varieties; one of his methods is to let me know that I should do whatever it is he should be doing (you pick up the toys mommy, you bring the clothes, you turn off the TV), this tactic usually results in my declaration that we should do it together, and then he will maybe put away two toys and I will parallel be stowing an entire drawer full...
Another version is an exchange – if he picks up the toys he can then have a chocolate. Recently my demand from his is that he simply behaves himself for his bonuses. The screams and ranting is getting worse. Although we have a start table for good behavior like all the trainers and super nannies say we must have, it is not always as effective as a bribe in the shape of a chocolate. Like I said, the boy has an improving understanding of numbers, calculating his chances for earning a chocolate bar in exchange for not over stretching my nerves, is becoming a refined skill.
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