When Jonathan was born, my older sister gave me some first time parents books, and I took to reading one of them rather often. I found the book very helpful, if sometimes naïve (what baby drinks from a glass and can sit to eat with the family before the first year is over...) and sometimes I just think the book is not connected to reality....
The development doctor said Jonathan was a by the book baby, I just do not think I can be a by the book mom.
What I really love about such books is the idea that a mother has to have endless time... combined with a rosy picture of what education should be all about... that is everything should be explained, the baby mus always set the pace and a mother should never raise her voice...They expect you to have time to explain everything to your child, especially when you baby did something wrong you need to start a long lecture and show your little one the way to true correctness. How do they imagine I explain to my boy concepts that he cannot even grasp? They write that the baby does not understand these concepts and then expect me to take time to explain anyway! (What baby can grasp the concept of ownership – well they understand that the world is theirs! Period!) I really think a lecture is not always useful, not to mention that I really do not have time for this SH__T...,Actually, Jonathan also has not time... he is already gone to investigate other things and has long forgotten what he did wrong, or where the sin took place.
When it comes to nutrition I think the book writers really went over the bend, their recommendation:1300 calories per day for a baby! And wait until you see the food lists...
According to the book (WHAT TO EXPECT IN THE FIRST YEAR BY Arlene Eisenberg, Heidy E. Mukoff E., and Sandee E. Hathaway) a baby should consume 4 “portions” of protein, 2 vitamin c portions, 4 calcium portions, 2 portions green or yellow vegetables, 2 portions fruit, 5 portions carbs (the good kind of course) 1 portion iron enriched food and 7 portions fat. Yes I know that you can mix) more than one ingredient n foods, so that the baby does not need to consume the total sum of 27 “portions” (each 25 gr) but still this seams a lot of food! Oh, did I mention that 4-6 cups of liquid must also be drunk a day? With all due respect I think this is really too much. The only explanation I might hazard for the quantities they mention is that the book was originally written in America (people in the USA are on average larger than in Israel, and I mean the healthy ones, not those who are overweight).
After filling three pages with instructions regarding to such portions and healthy nutrition and its importance for your baby from day 1, they write a sentence like “your baby's appetite should lead you” (the baby pace thing again...) and then tell you that if your baby eats/ drinks orange juice, cereal with a banana, pumpkin cake, milk, melon, pancakes, bread with cheese and apple juice (what baby giant consumed all that in one day?), you can be sure he has consumed the correct amount of portions and if he drinks enough water and get vitamin additives you are all set. Well all I can say to that is that my older sisters children have helped her discover that ice cream is food! (you know, milk has protein in it, ice cream has fat and sugar - i.e. carbs in it...so the three building blocks of nutrition are all to be found in ice cream...).
Another issue the book mentions is entertainment. A baby that sees only his/her home and the supermarket is bound to be a bored child, they say. The recommend museums and galleries! As great crawling spaces and assure you that the baby will enjoy the paintings! At first they recommend that you take your child with you on errands, that the supermarket I an adventure for a 3 months baby (and practical for mommy), but when the same baby is one year old the supermarket is no longer enough! Thank god they still recommend the mall! Suggesting that window shopping is still interesting enough, and there is space for walking practice. I have been looking for a winter solution – in summer I always took Jonathan with me on short trips to the supermarket and the mall and took care of errands in his company, but the colder days are approaching and I will need some in house entertainment for him to liven up his routine, like the book says, babies need verity. I found a playing place for him and I hope to pop over there once a week with him.
Still, when I watch Jonathan in play I learn that a simple nylon bag can afford him hours of entertainment, not to mention a spoon! Or my house keys! When one sees the simple means which he so enjoys, one really can relax and stop thinking of spending endless amounts of money. I admit that a few weeks back he seams bored with his play things, and I replaced some of them to make his toy arsenal more suitable for a baby his age, and now all is well. All I am saying is that one must not go too far! The book authors just wants the ideal situation for your child and they tend to recommend the extra. Sometimes this extra bot makes me feel guilty...but then I look at Jonathan, see that he is happy and the guilt flies out the window.
I guess one had to take the recommendations of this book, like many other things in life, in the right proportion. After all I can only be the best mom that I can be! Give to the best of my ability. And I think that's not too bad...All in all, I think Jonathan has a pretty cool mom! And looking at his smile when he comes to hug me and get a dose of mommy pampering in between his continuous “explore the house” tours I think he would agree.
Jonathan in the toy drawer
Just like his mommy...
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