No matter how I try not to do this (for my own peace of mind) I always end up comparing my son to other babies around him. It so happens that two of my cousins have also recently given birth, so I have to other boys to compare my son to, weather I like it or not. To make things worse, my son is the last born of the three, so he is by definition the smallest. Even though I know for a fact that in the beginning every week counts and that babies tend to grow almost exponentially, I still feel a tweak of remorse every time I meet with one of my two cousins and witness how much bigger their babies are… My comfort in this matter – as my husband is the tallest of the three fathers I tend to believe that eventually (at 20years of age) my boy will win the size contest.
Parents can compare anything about their children and society encourages this practice by grading your baby from the first moment of his or her life. A new born is tested for different attributes that are supposed to indicate its health. This test is called "Apgar" and your baby gets a grade! 10points are the maximum. I am the proud mother of a healthy baby boy who got the grade 9 in the first few seconds of his life and the full grade 10 after 5 minutes. Of course I am happy about these grades because they primarily tell me that all is well with my boy, but the high notes have also inspired a bit of motherly pride just because my boy did so well in his first test.
I am a competitive mother, even if I do not like to admit it, and it was very gratifying for me to be the mother of a large baby. My son was born 3,382 grams. Comparing him to other babies born in the same hospital proved to me that the statistics in the books in Israel about new borns' wieght, need to be altered. The books claim that the average baby is born with 3.3 Kgs. I tell you, my baby was more than average! He was big! I think the average in Israel is lower and that the stats should be updated! I continue to maintain that the statistics are wrong because I see lots of babies at various ages and they are all small for their age compared to my Jonathan (it is just that way when you are a mom on maternity leave in Israel, you meet your fellow mothers in the mall, the park and the children clinic on a daily basis – so visual comparison can hardly be avoided). By the way, the babies of my cousins weighed less than mine at birth…ha ha.
The testing and comparison continues throughout the child's life in the children clinic where they are weighed and measured. In Israel babies should be weighed every two months (combined with getting their shots). My son gained 500 grams per week in the first two weeks of his life! That is extraordinary! (And not only because it is my son) Only think, he added a 1/6 of his weight in just two weeks and doubled it in two months.
I tried not to be too competitive and to be satisfied that my boy was growing well. As long as the nurse at the clinic told me he was growing well within the stats I was happy and asked no more questions. But the curious Israeli public does not let you off the hook so easily. I was asked continuously not only to name his weight but to let people know where he is on the scale of weight and height. Eventually at the weighing when he was two months old, I asked the nurse to give me his growth stats. He was 40% in height and 70% in weight – so now I know for sure my boy is a big baby by comparison! Or at least a heavy one…
Mothers to sons can also compare how high their offspring can pee…mothers to sons know that as soon as you open the diaper to change it, the little one tends to squirt all over the place… I am proud to be able to say that my son can achieve quite a nice curve! Peeing over his head without getting wet! Cool! He generally tends to get everyone else wet…They should have an Olympic sport for baby boys called "The hose" – who can pee the farthest and cause the most havoc with the least number of drops on oneself.
You know how they say that men like to compare the size of their…cars, well a mother can also engage in similar activity. Rather than compare the size of your infant with those surrounding you, you can compare the size and sophistication of your baby stroller. Is it easy to fold without breaking your back over the repeated process? Is it a good brand? How many extras does it have? How much does it weight? Is the design a cool and fashionable one…As for the price, some mothers will be proud that they can afford a trendy and expensive stroller whereas others will pride themselves on getting a good stroller for less (like me).
You always get to see the Hollywood stars with their top strollers in the paparazzi pictures. Children are the biggest Hollywood hype of the year 2007 and I am proud to join the ranks of such good company…My stroller does not compare to Hollywood, especially not in its price, but I think it's a good one. I ran into a mother using the exact same pram as me in the street the other day and I felt true sisterly affection for just a moment, because this strange woman has confirmed my choice (after all, we all want to best for our children and a good and convenient pram is a part of that best).
But the most special think about my stroller is that we got it as a gift from the people who work with my husband. This is a true story of attention and kindness. Originally we had the stroller that belonged to mu big sister (who has 2 children that are now 6 and 4 years old). The stroller had been in the use of my sister for her two children and then my cousin for his first child (did I not previously recommend to collect children utensils rather than buy?) and was a bit battered up but in good shape…if one could only figure out how to use it! I just could not get it open! My parents (both engineers) husband and cousin (another one) could not figure out how to open it either…eventually I got my sister to tutor me on using it, but still I just could not "connect" and every outing with my son became a big deal in the negative sense. My husband who repeated my adventures to his colleagues at work and who was asked from the birth what gift he wanted was happy when it was suggested that his coworkers collect money to put together a new pram for us. They ended up collecting 4/5 of the value of the selected pram I was pining for and in return we invited the 25 contributors to a cheese fondue dinner at our house.
I now go out with my son daily in his pram and enjoy it very much. My advice to a new mother would be that a stroller is one thing you will use plenty in the first 3 years of your child's life. So get something you are confirmable with. Do not save on a stroller, it will return every cent of your investment. You can save on toys and clothes and even a baby bed, but the stroller needs to be just right! It will be your baby's transport method for many a day.
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